An American Girl in Canada

Choosing Joy

2012-01-27T13:00:00.001-08:00

Some days you just have to choose joy. You have to make a physical, mental and emotional decision to CHOOSE JOY. Today is one of those days. I am just feeling overwhelmed, emotional, physically exhausted and ready to crack.

I'm starting work full time again on Monday after a year of maternity leave. I have been in and out of my school this week trying to prep for that. It's fun to be back, I enjoy seeing my colleagues again, and I am looking forward to interacting with the students but it is also emotional. I have a lot to do just prep wise and I am trying to balance that with being a good mom and a wife that is there for her husband. There are also friends and family that I'm desperately trying not to ignore.

On top of all of that Rusty was just healing up from an ear drum perforation and infection-he finished his last dose of antibiotics on Sunday-and Rocky is getting FOUR, yes that is right FOUR teeth at a time. Needless to say I have had little sleep and my daytime hours have been chalk full.

Last night that was all topped off with Rusty waking up at 9 p.m. screaming uncontrollably and saying his ear was ouchie again. Huh??? Is that even possible when you have JUST finished antibiotics? I took him to the ER and found that yes indeed it IS possible. They gave him some codeine to get him through the night and then this morning I took him in to our doc. Repeat ear infection, more antibiotics and a referral to an ear, nose and throat specialist. Rocky also wanted to add his two cents to the mix and was up several time in the night with his poor sore gums and a sniffly nose.

AFTER Rusty's doctor visit we were off to the dentist-doc said he would be ok for it since it was a simple cleaning-and we discovered that he has FOUR cavities! FOUR! I was so bummed out. We brush his teeth faithfully, we floss, we don't let him have a TON of sugar-just the occasional treat. He doesn't even drink juice-only once every few weeks or so. I had no idea how this happened. Our dentist is great and reminded me that it can sometimes have nothing to do with actual hygiene. Still, Rusty now also has to see a pediatric dental specialist to have all of this taken care of and I left the office feeling like a terrible mother.

Then, I started thinking. I was thinking of Lil Blue Boo, who is fighting a daily battle with cancer and trying to be a mom and wife and business owner. I thought of my Miss Nikita, who fights chronic pain but chooses to keep moving forward. I thought of my friend J, who has been fighting a migraine for 20 days-that is right, I said TWENTY-and is now seeing a neurologist to figure out what the heck is going on. I filled my mind with all of these people and how even with all that they are going through they are CHOOSING JOY on a daily basis and thought, "I can certainly choose joy as well."

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. ~James 1:2

Let's be honest, I'm not really even facing troubles, just bumps in the road. So in light of all of this I have decided to sit down and write a joy and thankfulness list before I move forward any further in my day. I'm sitting at my desk at school with heaps of work surrounding me. Rusty is in the care of Nana and Papa, so I know he is ok. I need to refocus on what is good and right in my life so I can move forward with energy and joy. Here we go:

I'm thankful that I have a high quality hospital about 10 minutes away from our house where I could take Rusty last night. Even though it took a long time to get him in, I know that the doctors are of excellent quality and they would do what it took to help him. And they did.
I am thankful that I have an amazing family doctor that allows us to email her, fits us in on an emergency basis even when we don't have appointments, and even gives us baby furniture when she is done with it.
I am thankful that I have a working coffeemaker, for without it I am not sure I would have made it out the door this morning.
I am thankful for my husband, who tried valiantly to keep both boys quiet this morning while getting them ready for the day so that I could try to squeak out just 15 minutes of sleep, and who was up with the boys as much as he could help last night-unfortunately when a little boy is sick he usually just wants his mommy. :(
I am thankful for the fact that I have a job in a wonderful community of people that will help to provide for the needs of our family, with a boss that is compassionate and caring beyond belief and works to make sure that I am well both mentally and physically.
I am thankful for the many friends that I have that constantly offer to step in and help when they see that we are having a bit of a difficult time, from child care to meals to just providing a listening ear.
I am thankful for technology and the fact that through the simple pushes of a few buttons I can let my family know that our little guys aren't doing well and ask for their prayers at ANY time of the day.
I am thankful for the iPad, which helped Rusty to get through at least PART of the visit to the hospital last night. After awhile he was in so much pain even the iPad couldn't distract him, but at least it worked for a little bit!
I am thankful for Nana and Papa, who always step in to help if they can, and the fact that Papa can always make Rusty smile!

I mean, I could easily keep going, but I DO have work to do and besides, I feel focused now and ready to go! Gotta finish up here so I can get home and snuggle with those sweet boys!

Oh happy day

2012-01-25T22:05:00.002-08:00

We partied it up sock monkey style this weekend. It was the perfect and appropriate theme for our little monkey. He's a barrel of laughs and loves bananas too! I can't believe he is already one. I sure do love that little guy! Check it out...the party was perfection. A ginormous-is that word too over used? Well, too bad, it is appropriate here-THANK YOU must go out to Annie from Dottie's Buttons because seriously, the lady MADE the party happen. I could have created all of this, but with the prepping to go back to work, the trips to SD and Cali, and the sick kiddos, it simply wouldn't have happened quite as beautifully. Annie really stepped in and her creative skills hand-crafted everything except the cupcakes, which I made, and the happy birthday felt banner-my first sewing project wahoo! Check it out...her work is flawless. She also made the cutest little Rocky's First Birthday magnets for each guest that I didn't actually get a photo of. Darn it. If you want to hire her, just click on Dottie's Buttons up above. Trust me, she is worth it. (Pssst! She really likes vanilla steamed milk, so if you need extra help convincing her, try that!)

GORGEOUS 12 Month Photo Banner by Annie

Hello Cute Cupcakes!

Ready to PAR-TAY!

My little Sock Monkey

The STAR of the show!

Opening Presents is so fun!

A Birth Story: Rocky

2012-01-19T22:43:00.001-08:00

This story begins on Tuesday, January 18th at 4:50 a.m. I was rocking a major cold-which I would later learn was a raging sinus infection but that's beside the point!-and I was in bed trying to get comfortable. Because I had been so miserable and flipping and flopping around Kevin was sleeping downstairs. I rolled over in bed and suddenly, I felt water seeping. I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom to discover my water had broken!

This was new territory for me. With Rusty, my water did NOT break in advance and I actually had to have it broken-about 30 some hours into the intense and difficult labour. I figured that this was a good sign. When the water breaks that means contractions are right behind, right? Not so much. I did get Kevin up and we called my doula-who is amazing by the way, if you need one you MUST check her out! She advised me to try to get some rest and to see what happened. We waited around and then finally around 9 a.m. I started feeling the tightening in my back that for me is the beginning of contractions. We had been advised to go in to be checked out if nothing big was happening by 11 a.m.

I was desperate to try to avoid being induced. It had happened with Rusty and the experience wasn't the one that I wanted. I was really praying that God would start the contractions and we could be able to go forth with this birth naturally. After going in to the clinic we realized that the likelihood of this happening was pretty slim. The doctor on call that checked me determined that I was still not even 2 cm dilated and my water had been broken for 6 hours already. She said that I needed to go home and prepare to be induced...she said that if I was not having major contractions by 2:30 p.m. we would probably need to be checked in and induced. I was devastated, but went home and prayed about it and accepted the fact that this was likely to happen.

At 3 p.m. we called the doctor on call because I had started to have some more contractions. He suggested we go in to the case room to be evaluated, so in we went. They did a stress test on me for over an hour, and they said that the baby was fine and the contractions were about 30 minutes apart. They gave me the great news...I could go home and did not yet need to be induced! I could see if things continued to move forward and just hope and pray that it would!

That night around 7 p.m. Nana and Papa came to get our sweet Rusty boy. He would be staying with them until we came home from the hospital. As I said goodbye to my sweet boy I kept hugging him and could not stem the tears that flowed from my eyes. Even though I was so excited to meet our new little guy, I also was a little bit sad that the era of our time alone with our Rusty was ending. I didn't know what to expect. I just prayed that it would all be fine.

At 8:40 p.m. I went to bed, hoping that I would be able to get some rest. The contractions had become more steady, but in my past experience that could mean another entire day of on and off again contractions! I slept on and off for an hour and then around 10:20 p.m. I had to get up because the contractions were too intense and painful to sleep. I got Kevin up and we began to time them. After an hour of 4-6 minutes apart, we called our doula.

By the time she arrived at midnight I knew everything had started! I was really hoping to have this baby without any sort of inducing! I knew that I wanted to labour at home as long as possible. I first tried the shower...for a long time. It was truly the best thing for me and pain relief. I stayed there until the water turned cold, then tried laying on my side, standing and rocking and then back in the shower again.

Around 2 a.m., the urge to push became too much for me to handle. I was so certain that it was time. The contractions were so intense that I could not talk and think through them. I just remember Laura telling me to breathe and counting with me. Her amazing skills as she rubbed my back helped to soothe me and keep me strong. I had insane back labour-we would later discover that yet again I was labouring with a face up baby! I still remember Laura just pushing on my back...it was the best thing and the most helpful. Kevin did whatever we asked him too and was again a super support during labour. Upon the intense pain at 2 we knew it was time to head in to the hospital. I remember the drive there being so long and so hard. Every 2 minutes I would have an intense, breathe stealing contraction and sitting in the car with the seat belt on was a difficult way to manage it! Thankfully we are only about a 10 minute drive from the hospital at that time of the night!

We arrived at the hospital at 2:30 and I slowly made my way to check in. I had to stop every few bits and get through a contraction. Kev and Laura were both parking their vehicles, and it took me so long to get up to the delivery floor that they caught up with me before I got there!

We finally made it to the case room, where I was assessed and found to be at 4 cm. I remember feeling disappointed at that. I had been labouring for several hours intensely and was hoping to be further along. It was faster than with Rusty, but still slow. We were transferred to room 5 where I again laboured in the shower with Kev rubbing my back and helping me through the contractions. When I finally came out of the shower and began labouring by standing at the side of the bed with a pillow our nurse asked to check me. It had been about 50 minutes and I was found to be 5 cm! For me that boosted my spirits and gave me motivation. To me, that seemed fast. A centimeter in less than an hour!

One hour later, at 5 a.m., the doctor on call arrived and checked me. I was devastated to learn that I was still just 5 cm. I had made no progress in an hour of intense and incredibly painful contractions. The baby was face up so his head was rubbing along my spine and my body was already pushing very hard involuntarily with every single contraction. The doctor became extremely concerned. He stated after checking me that my cervix was swelling considerably due to the involuntary pushing and that the baby was swelling as well. He asked that I consider an epidural to allow my body to relax and my cervix to dilate. I was still very against it, due to some complications I had experienced with the one during my previous delivery. Laura agreed to help me do everything I could to get through it, and Kev and I decided that we would try morphine first.

I received the dose of morphine...and it did NOTHING. I felt absolutely no change in the pain level. With every contraction I could only get through it by getting on my knees on the bed and leaning over the birthing ball and just doing my best to get through it. Laughing gas had been incredibly helpful in my labour with Rusty, so I asked to try that again, only to have it immediately make me extremely nauseous, to the point that I almost threw up into the mask. I ripped it off and then tried again with the next contraction to experience the same feeling. Laughing gas was out as well.

The doctor came back an hour later and again, expressed his concern about the baby and me. In my mind, I feared the c section even more, so agreed to the epidural. They came and administered it. It did not provide immediate complete relief but it was enough to take the edge off and my body finally relaxed and I started to dilate. It even relaxed enough that the baby turned and became face down, which was what we also needed.

At 7:30 a.m. everything changed...my doctor, my amazing doctor whom we adore and were praying would be the one to deliver our Rocky, came on duty. I will never forget her breezing through that door. It was like a breath of fresh air. She greeted me the way she always does, "Hello my DEAR!" and hugged both Kevin and I. I felt this incredible calm and peace steal over me, and even my doula later commented on how she had rarely seen a doctor like this one.

Dr. H. checked me and found me to be 9 cm! She cheered, she had two students with her and they cheered, my doula cheered, Kevin cheered and I? I felt relief! We were almost there. Dr. H. asked us to make our predictions on the weight of the baby, said she was off to get a Starbucks-would anyone else like one?-and then breezed back out of the room. The students stayed with us and answered questions Kev had. The epidural was finally kicking in fully and I was feeling some relief.

At 8:30 a.m. Dr. H came back and said I was ready to push! I have to say one thing about the epidural...it allowed me to enjoy the birth. I was able to be in my right mind and I remember EVERY SECOND of that pushing time. I remember pushing, I remember the sounds, I remember hearing Rocky's cry, I remember feeling joy throughout it all. I remember having the energy to go for it because I had been able to FINALLY get a little bit of rest beforehand. For that, I am incredibly thankful.

Thirty one minutes later, at 9:01 a.m. on January 19th, 2011, our sweet boy entered this world. He came out crying and the best part was that they immediately handed him to me! With Rusty the cord was around his neck so I didn't get to see him right away. I loved holding my Rocky from the start. I remember not even crying, just being full of joy and cherishing seeing his little face for the first time. I even remember looking down at his hands and thinking how big they were! People still comment on that to this day, how big his little hands are.

Another great thing was that Kev was able to cut the cord. He was so proud and loved his little guy immediately. Again, this was one of the few times I have seen my amazing husband cry. He recalls just looking at Rocky and feeling the same way he had felt with Rusty. Crazy, over the top love.

Our little Rocky was officially there. He was in our family to stay. Our love for him has only continued to grow as we have watched him grow this year. Through his first five rough days in the NICU and on to the first month, the first smiles, the first giggles...his first steps. Through it all he has had this way about him...just this happiness and joy. He is truly another great blessing in our lives and we are so grateful to be blessed with our two boys. Little Rocky, you made our three a four...and a wonderful four it is! You made Rusty a big brother and you completed our family.

We love you so much our dear Rocky! Happy first birthday!

Happy 1st Birthday Little Man!

2012-01-19T08:55:00.002-08:00

Exactly one year ago today...

Sunshine

2012-01-13T16:42:00.000-08:00

Well, #44 is officially checked off of the list. On Tuesday morning I woke up, Rusty's fever was gone-only to have his illness return on Wednesday night ending up in a ruptured ear drum on Thursday night but that is all beside the point-and he seemed chipper, so Kev said he really wanted me to still hop on that plane and head to California, so I did!

I drove myself down to Seatac and caught my flight to LAX, where my cousin Jayme picked me up and we proceeded to enjoy a whirlwind of activities in about 36 hours.

The goods:
First we drove straight to Hollywood Boulevard, where we parked, grabbed a bite to eat, and then got in line with our free tickets to Jimmy Kimmel Live. I had never experienced anything like that and it was so much fun. It is a pretty small group of people that get to go and watch it, and it is really intimate in its setting. We got amazing seats and I absolutely loved seeing how it all takes place! It is a lot of work to tape a live show! The guests were Randy Jackson-who was very funny!-and Dermot Mulroney. Mostly Jayme and I just laughed and clapped a lot, and we felt it was an awesome and unique experience. Next on our list??? To see a taping of Ellen! Someday. I don't have any pics of this because we weren't allowed to have cameras and they made us shut off our cell phones, but it was a great experience.

After this it was only 8:30-they tape live for the East Coast-so we drove down to Santa Monica Pier and enjoyed some dessert and food at Bubba Gump's. I missed that place. I forgot how fun and pretty it is on the wharf.

Wednesday morning was sleeping in-yay!-followed by a long, leisurely shower and getting ready and then heading to Newport Beach. I had never been there before and it was so great! Newport is a fun sleepy little town-at this time of year anyway-and we loved it. We were totally chill and relaxed. The day was warm enough for just a light jacket and the sun, the GLORIOUS sun. I love sunshine. When it is beating down on me all is well in my world!

We had tickets to go whale watching so just browsed around the village first, enjoying some shopping and then off on the tour. The tour was unbelievable! We had two fin whales following our boat for almost half an hour or more! They kept diving and coming back up, shooting water. It was amazing! There were also hundreds of dolphins-I am NOT exaggerating!-swimming all around our boat and out in the water around us. Lastly we saw two grey whales, a mom and her baby. I would have paid just to ride around on the boat with the sun on my face and the wind in my hair for two hours, the whales and dolphins were simply an incredible, added bonus.

We followed it up with a wonderful dinner of appies and wine at a nearby restaurant overlooking the ocean. We sat and talked and laughed for awhile and then enjoyed a gorgeous sunset, before going to Downtown Disney to find some special treats for my little guy.

Overall it was such a wonderful few days. I was totally relaxed, missed my boys a ton, and came back recharged and ready to go!

California Dreaming

2012-01-09T09:39:00.001-08:00

Tomorrow at noon I'm hopping a flight to California. I was very excited about this until yesterday afternoon when Rusty came down with some kind of virus that shot his temperature up to 102.6, so not cool.

I was thrilled to be meeting up with my cousin Jayme. We are going to go to Jimmy Kimmel Live, the beach, whale watching, and shopping combined with good food. It is a short trip, just Tuesday to Thursday, but it was my birthday and Christmas present from my hubby. A little getaway for me before I head back to work on January 30th. I love California! The one year that I lived there after graduation from university had the effect of lodging that crazy, quirky state firmly within my heart. I went back once, I think the year after we married, but I have been itching to get back there ever since! Now it is finally happening and I feel...stressed.

At first I was stressed about leaving Rocky for the first time overnight, but he started daycare this week and is rocking it and doing well at home too. I was finally feeling comfortable and excited and then my poor Rusty came down with his fever. Even now he is lodged firmly next to me on the couch watching one of his favorite shows. He doesn't have the energy to do much else. Poor guy. I am hoping the fever breaks today and by the time we all get up tomorrow morning he will be more bright eyed and bushy tailed.

Hoping for some California dreaming tonight, followed by a joyful and "peaceful of mind" flight tomorrow!

For Nana and Papa

2011-12-23T13:17:00.000-08:00

Hello from South Dakota Nana and Papa! We have been having a really fun time. We love you and miss you. We are sure you are busy getting ready for Christmas. Please tell Uncle Scott we say hello! Much love to you! Here are some pictures of what we have been up to!

On the plane!

Using the "mapf" at the zoo to figure out where we want to go!

Watching the pennies roll down!

Check out that tiger!

The sweetest bear at the zoo!

Our little chicken is hatching!

My three boys at the zoo!

Someone is CRAZY for Uncle Neil! Last night was Uncle Neil this and Uncle Neil that!

Fa la la la la!

2011-12-20T12:50:00.001-08:00

Our little guy had his very first Christmas concert last Friday! We were so thrilled and he did a great job. I think there are few things cuter than a bunch of 3-5 year olds doing their best to sing Christmas songs and follow actions. They did three songs: 1. I'm A Little Snowman (To the tune of I'm A Little Teapot) 2. Jingle Bells 3. We Wish You A Merry Christmas

I wish I could post pics of the cuteness, but due to the daycare's strict photo policy I can only post pics of us with our handsome guy. He did awesome!

Daddy and His Boys

So proud of my little man!!

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

2011-12-11T08:43:00.001-08:00

I know...I've been a total slacker on posting lately. It's been interesting around here. I feel that I can pretty much sum it up into three well known categories: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I'll start with the good. There is a lot of good. Most of it revolves around lovely household changes that have been a long time coming. In some ways I feel really overwhelmed with all of the goodness and so incredibly overblessed. I am thankful! The Good:

We finally got a new fridge! Ours has been leaking water onto the floor once or twice a day for the past year and a half. We have had two different repairmen in to look at it and both told us that it was the same problem and that it could not be fixed. We dealt with it because we just weren't willing to put forth the funds to buy a new one at that time. We did a ton of research and finally the timing was right to buy a new one. Kev picked the one he wanted and thanks to Canada doing Black Friday deals as well as the States we got a beautiful, brand new french door/bottom freezer refrigerator for a great deal! It was $600 off! We did have to remove our overhead cupboard to fit it in, but we felt that was worth it, and we will be putting a shelf up above.

We also had Christmas come early in our household. Kev's parents blessed us with an incredible gift for Christmas this year, a deep freeze! It is something that I have wanted for a long time, and I know that it will make my life much easier and give me the ability to make meals ahead of time and freeze them, bulk up on great deals at the grocer, store berries and baked goods. It's going to be fantastic. The one that they chose for us is so great! It has these dividers in it that will keep it super organized and very functional. It is a blessing indeed!

We finally got our gas fireplace in our family room! It is something we have wanted to do since we moved in, but wanted the timing and the finances to be right. It makes the room SO cozy and warm, and we moved in the hand me down couches that Kev's parents gave us. Last night I went down there for a bit and just laid on the couch, feeling warm and staring into the fire, feeling peace. I feel so blessed by this room.

We have really enjoyed the Christmas season with Rusty this year. Instead of putting candy in his advent calendar this year we have done a series of gifts as well as activities! One of the activities was the Kids' Fun Night at the mall. He loved going with his friend and writing letters to Santa, decorating cookies, and making crafts. We also have taken him to the Carousel, as well as other fun things. His gifts have all been new books, which he loves! He really enjoys reading with us, and the books are great excuses to snuggle together before bed.

Another good was our Auntie Lee Lee making it through her first level of her teacher training! It has been a long time coming and we are really proud of her. We celebrated last week by making her a dinner that she enjoyed as well as a delicious cake idea that I found on Pinterest!

Of course, the true GOOD in our lives is our Lord and his Son. At this time of the year we really focus on the blessings he has given us and the sacrifice of his son for us. We also thank him so much for our kiddos. Man these guys make us smile all of the time. I am totally in love with my THREE guys!

The Bad:

Our kiddos are sick. Sick, sick, sick. Last night I was up with Rusty for two hours while he coughed and wheezed for breath. We finally took him in to the doctor this morning and he has croup, bordering on something worse. She is giving him a special one time dose of a medicine that is supposed to stop it in its tracks. We hope this works, especially before we leave for South Dakota for Christmas. We also hope little Rocky does not get worse and that Nana stays well! She watched our sweet Rocky while I took Rusty to the doctor, and we are praying that she doesn't catch what has been going around.

The Ugly:

The ugly, just to round it all out-our carport! Ha ha! It is full of cardboard, styrofoam and two old fridges that Hydro will be picking up on Thursday. Even though it looks a mess right now, we know it is all because of the good things that have been going on, so we don't mind it too much. We will get everything taken care of in due time.

Yummmm...comfort food!

2011-12-07T13:06:00.001-08:00

So, I made some IDEAL comfort food today for lunch. I had a butternut squash sitting on my counter that I needed to use. I had seen a bunch of facebook feeds talking about adding quinoa to butternut squash soup so I thought I would try it! I found an AWESOME recipe here, SO easy and so tasty! I dare you to try it! You won't regret it. I have added the recipe here just to help you out!

ingredients

1 tbsp olive oil
1 medium onion, finely chopped
2 cups seeded, peeled, and diced butternut squash
1/4 cup quinoa, well rinsed
2 garlic cloves, minced
3 cups vegetable stock (I used chicken stock because I'm not vegan.)
Salt and ground black pepper

directions

Heat the oil over medium heat in a 3 to 4 quart pot.
Add the onion and sauté for 5 minutes, until translucent. Add the squash, quinoa, and garlic and sauté for another 5 minutes.
Add the stock, and salt and pepper to taste. Bring to a boil, cover, reduce the heat and simmer for 15 minutes or until the squash is tender. Remove from heat. (At this point I put it in the fridge and cooled it.)
Use a blender or a food processor. (An immersion blender would be great but I don't have one...gotta put that on the Christmas list I think!) Taste. If necessary, add salt and pepper. (I added pepper but no salt...didn't need it!)
Serve with a tiny dollop of sour cream if desired...I didn't but it was still amazing!

It is so amazing! Enjoy!

Source: Cheryl Roman Stewart

Missing Her

2011-11-30T14:02:00.001-08:00

My grandma went to see her heavenly Father on August 1, 2011. I have missed her every day since then. She was just such a light in all of our lives. It is weird to think that she is gone, and the craziest things make me think of her.

The other day I was craving some delicious lemon bars. My grandma was amazing at making these. I made up a big pan of them and although they were delicious, they made me a little sad too. I wish I could have been making them with her.

Another day we were on our way to the States. I ran into the Duty Free shop to pick up a few things on the way down and saw a little package of Jelly Belly Jelly Beans. They were her favorite. I remember one particular sleepover that my big sister and I had with her at Hart Ranch. We were staying there with her for a week while we worked in Rapid City. Every night we would watch girly movies and munch away on the huge bag of Jelly Bellies she had bought for us. I had to buy the little bag I saw, and with every one that I ate I thought of the fun times I had with her that week.

Two Sundays ago my friend Leanna and I were at church. We don't sing a lot of old hymns at our church, but that Sunday they started singing "How Great Thou Art." Suddenly tears were streaming down my face. The last time I had sung that song was to my grandma, on her deathbed. It was me, my sister, my mom and some of my aunts. My grandma loved to hear old hymns, and even though she couldn't really speak by that point, she tried her best to smile. In the end, that was one of the things that brought her the most peace and joy. Even though it was so hard for me, I sang to her whenever I had the chance.

I found this video the other day. It is me singing "Amazing Grace," another one of her favorites, to her. My sister took it when the day after I arrived in South Dakota to say goodbye to Grandma. It is so precious to me, because I have video of me with her, as well as the very fact that I DID make it there to say goodbye. We weren't sure if she would last that wrong, but Grandma was tough, she lasted a week after I got there.

Grandma, I love you and I miss you...I'm sure you are singing this song to your Father now!

6 hours...

2011-11-26T21:00:00.001-08:00

Today we helped some friends move. They have a gorgeous new home and I am so thrilled for them! I was also incredibly thrilled to be able to help them with the move.

Nana and Papa came over to take care of the boys, and Kevin and I were gone from 12 noon to about 6:30. That, I believe, is the longest I have been away from Rocky since the days that he was in the NICU. I was a little nervous to leave him for that long, because he has been really Mommy Mommy lately, but thankfully, it went great! I think it helped that Nana and Papa were watching him here at our house, and also that it WAS them, whom he knows quite well, but still...I was thankful!

I'm thankful on several levels, really. It was a blessing to be able to help these dear friends of ours...they have really been there for us through the years. I ended up cleaning both of the bathrooms at their old house, and I was on my own. I just turned on the music on my phone and listened and cleaned and enjoyed the solitude. It was really quite nice! Then, once we loaded up boxes, drove to their new house and unloaded I ended up cleaning upstairs by myself again. Again, the silence was kind of nice. I had time to myself to think, and the methodical motions of cleaning a house that is still basically an empty canvas was really enjoyable.

Another thing that I am thankful for, is that Rocky did that well for that long. See, he is starting daycare in January, and I have been pretty nervous about it. I have wondered how he will do, and what it will be like to be away from him for so long. I know I shouldn't wonder, because I have been through this before with Rusty, but Rusty was older when we put him into full time daycare and also...I don't know. Rocky might be my last baby! It sort of makes it harder in some ways. Seeing that he did so great for six hours was refreshing and helped me to know-as my head and my husband and my friends have been telling me for awhile-that he will probably be okay.

10 Months Old Already!

Gobble, Gobble

2011-11-25T15:04:00.001-08:00

Celebrating American Thanksgiving is probably one of the things I miss the most about living moving to Canada. It isn't the day itself, it is the being with my own family, eating all of our yummy recipes, sharing, laughing, praying, and simply enjoying life together.

My very first year here two sweet friends cooked a Thanksgiving dinner for me on the actual day. The act was so thoughtful that I remember getting a bit teary eyed. Ever since then, I have celebrated it off and on. One year was not a celebration, as I had parent teacher interviews that night. I have put on Thanksgiving dinners for friends, and for family, and last year my dear friend Seren put on a huge dinner for us. This year it was my goal to once again put on an American Thanksgiving dinner for some dear friends here.

Because I am on maternity leave, I was able to have the entire day to prep, and it was wonderful! We had two families join us. The food was delicious-tooting my own horn!-but the company was even better. The night went by too quickly, and although I still really missed my family, it was a blessing to spend the day in thoughtfulness as to all that I am thankful for, to cook, and to enjoy fun times with friends! It also crossed another thing off that 101 Things List!

Daddy-participating in Movember-and Rocky

Carving up the bird!

The Kid Only table!

Our Crew

Mmmm! Pumpkin Cheesecake!

New Girl

2011-11-17T12:50:00.001-08:00

I don't have a ton of time to watch television, but I'm not going to lie. I'm not one of those women that pretends like I have so many better things to do to stimulate my mind than sitting in front of the TV. I love reading, and often do, but sometimes I just need to veg out in front of the flat screen at the end of a very long day and laugh...and not really think.

New Girl, a new show on this fall, is exactly what I need for this. It is a few episodes in and I love it! I have to admit, the last two episodes weren't as good as the first two but this week it redeemed itself. The Thanksgiving episode was hilarious...I mean, a turkey in the dryer? "There's two of them?" Dancing in the Best Buy Black Friday line? It is just too funny! This show makes me laugh out loud at least once an episode. I enjoy being able to completely relax and enjoy some chill time. It is the perfect antidote to a busy day when I feel exhausted, yet need something to relax my mind before hitting the hay.

If you haven't checked it out, you should! A few other shows that I am enjoying-when I have time to hit play on the PVR-are Revenge and Once Upon a Time. What are some of your favorite new shows this season?

5 Things I Love Right Now

2011-11-15T13:05:00.001-08:00

My friend Michelle over at So Wonderful, So Marvelous is doing a monthly post of Five Things I Love Right Now. I enjoyed it so much that I decided to do my own again this month. I think it is fun to think about what is making my life more fun, easier, and more calm.

Five things I love right now...
1. McDonald's Coffee. The stuff is actually pretty good. I take mine as a medium with two milks. It works in a pinch when I haven't had time to clean my coffee maker in a million years and I don't want to pay the big price tag attached to Starbucks. I only really like the fun drinks at Starbucks anyway. The other thing I love about McDonald's coffee? I can easily get it in the drive thru, meaning that I don't have to take the kiddos out of the car. BLISS.

2. The Allan McGavin Sports Medicine Clinic at UBC and especially Dr. Navin Prasad. I have been dealing with pretty intense pain in my knee for about six years now. I had previously been referred to a different knee specialist TWICE that basically reduced me to tears because of his lack of interest in my case and his basic dismissal of my pain (mainly, I believe, due to the fact that I am young.) Today I went to the UBC sports medicine clinic and saw this amazing doctor. Not only was he incredibly kind and made me feel like my appointment was the only one that he had for the entire day, but he also gave me a thorough examination and took me seriously. I will be having an MRI soon to see if we can figure out what is going on and what has been causing this pain for the past six years! Another bonus is that because the sports clinic is in direct relation with the UBC Hospital my MRI will already be in January, rather than the normal really long wait that can be experienced here in Canada.

3. My Glasslock series of containers that I bought at Costco. They are amazing! They are totally glass with these wonderful lids that click on. They are the perfect size for all of our needs. I now only wish I had bought two of them! They have a new pack with different sizes that I think I am going to have to get and I will be able to throw out all of those old ziploc containers. They aren't healthy for me to microwave in, or things like that.

4. Yoga. I love yoga. I have started up with it again-finally!-and I really love it. It makes me stronger and more flexible. When I go to a class I always feel tired and worn out, but come home feeling refreshed and strong. I only wish I could go to more classes!

5. Fall. This fall is unlike any others that I have seen in BC. It reminds me of fall back home. It is all crisp, cool air, orange, yellow and red leaves crunching beneath my feet, glaring sunshine beating down through my car windows. Yes indeed, this fall is one for the record books!

What are you loving right now???

We're going to be on TV!

2011-11-12T11:27:00.001-08:00

Well, we finally had the chance to film Kev's big commercial today! The KIA FINALLY arrived at the dealership. We went on over to the dealership and CBC was there and ready to go. It was simple but our cutie kids performed. It will be fun to see what they actually use in the commercial. Rusty was a pro, holding up the keys to the car and saying, "We won a car!" in all of his cuteness. He even wanted to shake the hands of the KIA heads.

They also filmed some shots of us in the car, and Rocky performed too. He was sitting on my lap "pretending" to drive and he bounced up and down, grinning from ear to ear. Don't worry, the car was parked and off! They wanted to film us driving around the lot in the car, but I wouldn't let the kids be in it without their car seats.

It's a pretty sweet car, I have to admit. A little part of me wants to keep it. It has a backup camera, SIRIUS radio, iPod connector, sun AND moon roofs, air conditioned leather seats...it is a souped up, pretty vehicle. The other part of me, however, is going to enjoy selling it to our buyer and paying off Kev's car, as well as having some more money to put into savings. I know it's the right choice for us, but I'm not going to lie...a teeny, tiny part of me wanted to keep it today!

If our Canadian friends want to see the commercial it should be on Hockey Night in Canada sometime in the next few weeks. He said not tonight, of course, but probably by next week. Of course Kev will PVR it to see if we can catch it, and then we will video it and probably put it up on Facebook or something. Overall, it was a fun experience...I still can't believe my husband actually won a car!

A huge thanks to KIA Canada as well as the CBC for putting on this FREE hockey pool. You should all join, you never know, you might win a car!

8 Years Ago

2011-11-07T15:39:00.000-08:00

Eight years ago today I was standing at my kitchen sink, washing the dishes and trying to decide what to make Kevin and I for dinner. I was just a new transplant to this country. I had been here just a few months, moving myself and all of my belongings to Canada to be closer to the love of my life.

The man himself walked in my door. I had my back to him, and I will never forget him walking up behind me and kissing the back of my neck, making me turn around. He was standing there looking handsome, all dressed up and holding a gorgeous bouquet of flowers. He said, "Get dressed up, I'm taking you out for a nice dinner."

I was so excited...I absolutely LOVE surprises, so I was totally surprised to be able to get dressed up. The next thing I knew we were on our way and headed up Grouse Mountain. He had reserved us a table at The Observatory, the beautiful restaurant at the top of the mountain. We had an amazing dinner, wonderful conversation, and enjoyed reminiscing about a year earlier, which had been my first visit to Canada and the point at which we decided to start dating.

After dinner he took me out for a walk. It was cold at the top of the mountain, and there was already a bit of snow. I remember we stood, holding each other and looking out at the beautiful city below us. It was a gorgeous, crisp evening and the city looked stunning. Although I enjoyed the view, I was starting to become colder and colder. Kev asked me to take just one more picture...so I did. When I turned around, there he was, on one knee holding out a ring box. He spoke to me, telling me wonderful things and then asked, would I be his wife?

Of course my answer was yes! I was full of joy, so excited in fact, that I forgot to even look at the ring! I finally did, of course, and it was beautiful. My heart was so full...I was thrilled! I was going to marry my best friend, the true love of my life!

Here we are 8 years later. We have had ups and downs, we have become parents twice over, and we are more in love than ever before. This man never ceases to amaze me and I consider myself so incredibly blessed to be his wife. I thank God for him, and I thank God that he asked, and I said yes!

Happy Halloween-and no Starbucks!

2011-11-01T16:48:00.000-07:00

October totally flew by...am I right? Maybe I just feel that way because I am already stressing about my little guy growing up and heading to daycare soon while I head back to work. I know it is the right decision for us as a family, but man this year is going fast! I just talked with the daycare lady today about filling out Rocky's paperwork and sending in his registration fees and such. *Sniff* I have almost exactly two months left with him. He begins daycare on January 2nd, with his gradual entry being that week. By the end of the week he will be full time and then I go back to work full time on January 30th. Crazy. CUH-RAZ-EE! I know that these two months are going to FLY because it is the holiday season, which always goes too fast for my liking.

I totally digressed there. Anyway, October was fast and fun. We had the Halloween party and last night enjoyed some trick or treating. Rusty and Rocky's Auntie Lee Lee-who is truly an auntie to them in all the ways that matter-got all dressed up and came for dinner and trick or treating with us. Rusty LOVES his auntie so he was pretty excited to have her along for the fun.

Rusty decided in the end to ditch the ghost costume and went full force with the giraffe. Oh well! That will teach me...in the future, take him to the store, let him pick something. He still looked adorable and kept saying that his favorite part of the costume was "this cute little tail!"

The other fun thing about the month was checking another thing off of my 101 Things list...no Starbucks for an entire month! I wanted to cut back on how many frilly drinks I was buying, so I went cold turkey for the month. I only had ONE mocha the ENTIRE month, and it was purchased for me by someone else! It proved to me that I don't "need" it nearly as often as I think I do! I did go and get one this morning though, and MAN did it taste amazing!

November is here and that means being thankful! I'm going to try to think of one thing I am thankful for each month. What are you thankful for today?

Halloween, Halloween, Trick or Treat!

2011-10-30T15:49:00.003-07:00

OK, I know it's not officially here yet, but seeing as Halloween lands on a Monday night this year-which also promises to be drizzly around here-we celebrated Halloween on Saturday here. I had been thinking of having a party for awhile, since #5 on my 101 Things list is to host a theme inspired party at our house. Rusty has totally been into Halloween and figuring out what he wanted to be and such. When I asked him if he wanted to have his friends over for a party he jumped right on board.

I let Rusty choose the guest list-he told me which friends he wanted to invite-and he also helped me plan food and party favors. A few trips to Michael's later-and a group of fun people-and we had a great party!

Rusty had decided that he wanted to be a ghost this year, so I slaved away making him a costume-ok, ok, so it only took one night, pffft!-but then once he put it on to wear to the party he decided he didn't like the fact that he couldn't see out of the eyes, so he asked to put on his giraffe costume from last year. I guess he will be a giraffe two years in a row! I don't really mind...he's a pretty cute giraffe!

The party was a ton of fun, and we enjoyed a lot of great food too. Our house was full of cute little animals, two fantastic dragons, and even a sweet little ladybug and Jack-O-Lantern!

My Halloween Cupcakes!

Our Little Ghost and Pumpkin

Enjoying the Party

The train table was the huge hit of the day!

Sweet Little Monkey

Mmmm! Lots of AMAZING food! Thanks to all of our friends for bringing some!


Rocky had fun playing with a new friend...this little guy is just one day younger than Rocky.

Some of our decor...an idea I saw on Pinterest!

One of the best parts of the day for me was actually capturing a good photo of my two boys together! Happy Halloween everyone!

Happy Halloween Everyone!

I just want to sit...

2011-10-28T16:10:00.001-07:00

I can think of ~~three or four~~ ten or twenty things I should be doing right now. Offhand:
1. Hang up the 60 or so black cardstock bats I cut out for the Halloween party we are having tomorrow.
2. Make buttercream frosting for cupcakes for tomorrow.
3. Resew the arm of Rusty's ghost costume that is too small for him.
4. Wipe down the countertops in the kitchen.
5. Sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
6. Make the bed with fresh sheets after I ripped off the old ones this morning.
7. Fold the massive pile of laundry that is on the floor in front of the washer and dryer.
8. Vacuum all of our floors to get all the bitsy pieces that keep sticking to my feet.
9. Figure out what to make for dinner.
10. Clean our bedroom.

But, instead, I think I will sit here for a bit, just relaxing. So what if everything doesn't get done? What are YOU avoiding today???

A Rant-Father in Law you might want to skip this one as it is all about bikini tops. No cute pics of the grandsons or funny stories about them!

2011-10-25T13:35:00.001-07:00

I just have to rant for a bit. I am a large chested woman. As my husband says, "The good Lord blessed me fully." I am not, however, a large woman overall. Swimming suit companies do not seem to understand this one very well. It is so difficult for me to shop for a bathing suit. I have one bathing suit, and it is a bikini. I bought it four years ago at Swimco for over $100.

Some people don't bat an eye at spending $100 or more on a bathing suit, but for our family, that's a lot of money. I am thankful that I was able to get four years of use out of it. Why spend so much Stacy? I know that's what you are saying. You are saying that you just bought a swimming suit at Old Navy, top AND bottom, for just $30! No biggie! Well, see, that must be the problem, you are not a biggie...like me.

I can wear a bikini, in fact now that I am a much smaller version of my former self that's about all I can wear. It is impossible for me to find a full swimsuit that fits me both on the top and the bottom. Tankinis don't even work. I can't just run to Sears or wherever and buy something cheap from last season off the rack. See, if I buy the tankini big enough to fit my chest it floats around my midsection like a dress. Not super attractive. If I buy a suit that fits the rest of my body my chest explodes out of it and looks ridiculous, or even worse, sometimes I can't even get the chest area INTO the suit.

Things have become even a bit more difficult since having children. Two pregnancies and two rounds of breastfeeding have not been super kind to the ladies. They need a bit of extra support to keep them looking perky and nice. I also don't love a suit that exposes them...at all. I like full coverage, I'm a modest girl. I don't LIKE people, with the exception of my hubby, ~~staring~~ looking at my chest. I feel when I am covered well the staring falls to a minimum!

So, there I am. I am at a bathing suit store with about three options of bikini tops that I can even possibly try on and wouldn't you know it, the one that works and actually makes me look somewhat decent is $122. Ugh. I know from the past that this store and their tops are high quality and last for about four years but still...I'm frustrated simply at the fact that my options are so limited and so expensive. I went to another store and tried on some of their tops but there were none that worked. I could look online but hate that I can't actually try the tops on. Sigh. I just wish there was a way that companies would figure out that there are probably quite a few women out there like me. Yes, I'm large chested, but I'm a size six in my pants and usually wear a medium in tops. I don't need something FLOATING around the rest of my body in order to fit my chest. I would actually be willing to pay close to $100 if I could find a full bathing suit that would fit my hips, waist AND chest. It can't be that hard, right? They wouldn't even have to stock a lot of them...just a few would be nice!

I left the store feeling a bit dejected and decided to come home and think it over. Is it worth $122 for a top??? If I pay that I better expect it to last me another four years or more. Do you think it is worth it to pay that much if it lasts that long? Is it worth it for comfort and fit? I'm thinking yes...now I just have to convince Kevin. That's it, my rant is finished. And just for the record, I wouldn't go back to my previous, 180 pound and UNHEALTHY version of myself just to be able to fit into a full bathing suit. I worked darn hard to get to this point...I guess I will just enjoy it.

This and That

2011-10-23T20:54:00.001-07:00

It's that time of year...the time when the flu and cold bugs get you down and take you out. I have been taken out for the past few days. I always try to remind myself-when my nose is stuffed, my head is pounding, and my body aches-that it could be worse, and that I have experienced worse, and especially that many people I know have had much worse in their lives. Then I buck up and move on. Plus, my husband takes good care of me...that really helps.

Anyway, in the middle of this there have still been some fun things going on around here.

Rusty loves all of the festivities surrounding Halloween! He decided early on this year that he wanted to be a ghost and last night I finally finished up his costume. It was a bit more difficult than just throwing a sheet over his head, because the sheet was too long, so I had to hem it up and I also added some black felt around the eyes and mouth to make sure that he looked kind of spooky and ghost like and not like a clan member. I do NOT want anyone thinking that!

He definitely enjoyed carving his pumpkin with Kev this year. He told Kevin exactly what he wanted it to look like, saying the shape he wanted each part to look like. We carved it up and also roasted up the seeds! Yum! Rusty helped me out with a little craft project using mason jars, paint and some candles. They look pretty cute, don't you think?

In other news, our little Rocky turned nine months old on October 19th. This kid constantly amazes me! He is so busy and so adorable. Some days he is into everything! This past month he has started really eating a lot, including more of our food. The other night he tried the turkey I had roasted and went crazy for it! He has also learned how to clap his hands, although he is still perfecting that! One of the biggest changes in him this month is how much he babbles now! He is always babbling about something and I wish all the time that I could see exactly what his little head is thinking!

The other day we were at Nana and Papa's house and he play socially! Papa rolled him a ball and Rocky's face lit up! He grabbed the ball and threw it back to Papa saying, "AH!" It was adorable. He was so happy and played and played, each time throwing the ball back to Papa the best that he could. It was just so amazing to see him interacting in that way. It is now one of his favorite things to do.

This month he has started standing a few seconds at a time, and he can also walk when pushing the little Sesame Street chairs along. He will grab either Cookie Monster or Big Bird and push the chair all the way across the room, walking behind it, to get where he wants to be. I am crazy for this kid and his cute faces. He just brings us so much joy!

That's this and that around here!

Fortunate

2011-10-18T15:19:00.003-07:00

There have been a few thoughts jumbling around in my mind lately. Mostly they center around how blessed I am. It has been interesting how God has been bringing these thoughts to my mind at the most interesting of times. A few of the thoughts on my mind...

This morning I remembered that my very first baby was due today. If that baby had been born we could potentially be celebrating the birthday of our four year old child. I love that baby, and I miss that child, but my heart no longer totally fills with sorrow when I think of that loss. I know that God has that child safely with Him, and I like to think of my grandma taking care of those babies as well. She always loved babies, and I can just imagine her up there with my babies and the babies of my family that miscarried, playing, singing, and showing them her love. When I think of my babies, I just become flooded with gratefulness for the two babies I DO have here on Earth. They bring me such incredible joy...I just adore them.

Another thought that has been passing through my mind lately is how much we have. It is so easy to get caught up in the "I needs..." Our refrigerator currently has a blocked tube that can't be fixed and it spews water onto the floor on a regular basis. This brings great frustration to me, but then I am suddenly reminded of how many people in this world don't have a fridge, don't have the food to fill it, couldn't imagine having even a linoleum floor to wipe the water up off of. All of those things right there remind me to be grateful to have a fridge at all, even if it DOES leak water onto the floor-hey, at least the floor is pretty much always clean!

In that same line of thinking, this morning I was putting laundry into the washing machine and taking another load out of the dryer. I sighed, thinking to myself, "The laundry seems never ending." Then I suddenly thought about people that have to wear the same clothes day after day, and have to wash them out in a river, or by hand. I have more clothes than I even know what to do with, and washing and drying them are a cinch! I am so lucky to have a washer and dryer, even if they are the base models. They get the job done and save me so much time! My kids, husband, and myself are always dressed as we need to be to keep us safe and warm. We are truly blessed.

The dishwasher does the same thing to me! Some days I feel like all I do is dishes all day long. I can sometimes do two to three loads a day depending on what kind of cooking and baking I have been doing. Then again, I am struck with the thought that I have all of these dishes, I can load them up and walk away and come back to clean and dry dishes just an hour later or so. I have food that I am cooking in all of those dishes. It is a blessing indeed.

Along the lines of blessings, one special project has been on my mind lately. It is Silokwethemba-We Have Hope. You can read all about it HERE. This project supports orphans and vulnerable children in Africa. It was started by my friend, Max, after a missions trip he took there years ago. It has snowballed and now supports and pays the school fees, provides shoes to, and just generally cares for hundreds of children in Zimbabwe each year. It is so easy for us to think that there is nothing we can do for the downtrodden or those that are in need, but really it is easy. There is a lot that we can do even in our own city! This project though, is dear to my heart. I think of those kids and want to help them out. Max's friend Hilary Grist recently wrote a song for these kids and this project...watch this video, it will show you what you can do, what it is like for these kids, and how you can help! I watched the video for the first time the other day. Rusty came up and asked what I was watching and I started explaining it to him. I explained that most of the kids in the pictures had no mommies and daddies, and needed someone to take care of them. One of the things he noticed was that the kids had no shoes. I asked him what we could do about that. He replied, "Well, Daddy could give them some money or something!"

I said, "What about you Rusty? Do YOU have money you could give them?"

"YES!" he replied, "My piggy money!" So, off we went. We got his piggy bank, counted out his money. I asked him how much he wanted to give. He replied, "Forty thousand dollars." I wish little man, I wish! We counted out some money and then went online and donated that amount. My heart was happy to see my little man understanding that we can help others. Even now when you ask him what his money went for he says, "to buy the kids shoes!"

If my little man can buy some shoes and help out, can't we all help out? Watch the video, I dare you. It will touch your heart, it will fill you with images of little kids in whose lives one small donation can make a huge gift. YOU CAN HELP. We are fortunate, we are blessed. This month I made a goal not to buy myself any Starbucks. Every time I am tempted, I stop and think of these kids. At the end of the month I would like to donate the amount I would have spent on lattes to those kids...I think it will be money well spent. What could you cut back on to help? Check out the video...see what you can do!

Pumpkin Patch 2011

2011-10-16T21:51:00.000-07:00

I am so thankful that we received a fantastic day of sunshine for a visit to the pumpkin patch this weekend. Rusty really wanted to go and talked about it endlessly. He loved picking out his "perfect" pumpkin! Rocky didn't love it, but mostly because it was smack dab in the middle of nap time. Next year my bet is that he will be toddling all over trying to eat the pumpkins.

Stitches

2011-10-11T14:50:00.001-07:00

Well, our little guy got his first stitches this weekend. I had sort of been dreading the day basically since he was born, but in the end it wasn't as bad as I thought!

He went to a CFL game with Daddy, and at halftime was playing around and took a little tumble, which resulted in a cut on the back of his head. They took a trip to first aid and there he was bandaged up like a car crash victim! After returning to their seats Rusty wanted to stay and watch the rest of the game but this Mama said, "No way! Bring my baby home to me!"

Once they arrived home, I could see Rusty was in good spirits, but upon inspecting the cut it started to ooze-I know, gross-and so we decided a trip to the ER was in order. I buckled him up and off we went while Kev stayed with the sleeping Rocky.

Rusty handled it like a pro! Luckily I had the foresight to pack up his backpack with a snack and one of his favorite-and LOOONNNNGGG-Dr. Suess books, so we were well prepared. The ER was surprisingly quick and got him in right away. Perhaps due to the fact that it was a head injury? We arrived there just before 11 and were on our way home by 11:50 p.m. I was shocked...and thankful!

They put on some freezing gel for about twenty minutes and then stitched him up with three stitches while I held him on my lap and read to him. Their was the senior resident and an intern working on him, and both kept saying that they couldn't believe how cooperative he was! He only cried at the very end, when a piece or two of his hair got stuck in the hinges of the doctor's scissors and pulled hard! Even at that, he was fine after a little sticker therapy-TWO stickers, a pumpkin AND Blue's Clues!-and he even thanked the doctors on our way out.

I was pretty proud of our little guy. He did great and handled everything well. I am also thankful for the ER staff. They were quick and they did a great job. The stitches are very even and Rusty's head is healing great. One other thing I was thankful for was how deeply they questioned me. Five different adults questioned me on exactly how this had happened. Knowing that Kev and I are good parents to Rusty and this truly was an accident, this did not bother me, but I appreciated that the doctors and nurses were doing their due diligence to make certain that this truly was exactly that...an accident. The protection of children is an important thing!

Eye Candy

2011-10-05T20:31:00.002-07:00

Just a little eye candy from the last week around here! Enjoy!

Three sweet little guys checking out the view...can't you just see the little one thinking, "I wanna be like the big boys?"

You Got A Friend in Me

Beautiful Lilies from my Thoughtful Man

Salted Caramel Buttercream Caramel Cupcakes...made by YOURS TRULY

A Day with the Fishies

Captain Rocky

My FIRST Canning Effort...Applesauce!

Things I Want to Learn

2011-10-05T17:19:00.002-07:00

My friend Michelle over at So Wonderful, So Marvelous had a pretty cool post today. Short, sweet and to the point, but I learned a little bit about her too. I decided to copy her. Here goes...

Five Things I Want to Learn
1. To make a pie crust for fruit pies.
2. To make my own beaded jewelry.
3. To do more difficult yoga.
4. To make creamy tomato soup-a fall/winter staple-from scratch.
5. To utilize the photoshop program that I have on my computer.

What would you like to learn???

Apple Picking

2011-10-02T21:29:00.001-07:00

"Oh the Lord is good to me, and so I thank the Lord, for giving me the things I need, the sun and the rain and the apple seed, the Lord is good to me!"

Those lines are from a famous song, the Johnny Appleseed song! I love that song, it's an old camp staple and I also love APPLES! Both of my boys are BIG apple fans and this past week we had a chance to have some fun times picking apples!

Rusty was a great apple picker! The orchard that we went to was awesome. They had tons of apple trees with the apples very low to the ground. Rusty picked all of the apples for our ten pound bag-which surprisingly only took about 10 minutes! Some of the apples were a little hard to pull off the tree, and it was hilarious to watch Rusty's face!

Rocky wasn't in the best mood for apple picking, as he hadn't napped all the way to the orchard, and he also didn't nap while we were there, but he was still a cutiepie, and didn't fuss too much!

We loved apple picking, and will definitely do it again in future years. Now I just need to get the ambition to make the applesauce!

a snapshot of life these days

2011-09-27T21:28:00.000-07:00

Oh my boys are fun. I am surrounded by cuteness and I am loving it. Rusty is so sweet and helpful these days and Rocky...well he is a man on the move. He spends his entire day climbing up and down things, onto things, standing at the couch, at the exersaucer, at my legs...he even paid Daddy a visit in the shower yesterday!

I love seeing his adorable, cute and smiling face all day long. Wouldn't you love looking at this cute face all day too?

Rusty and I had a particularly rocking day today! He played at his newly set up art area in the kitchen while I cooked away-and little brother slept-we made an adorable banner for our mantel, and we visited a care home with Papa and helped make lunch for the residents. We finished the day by making homemade pizza for dinner...sadly we were out of tomatoes and I didn't have time to go to the store to get some, so Ragu it was. The pizza still tasted good! :)

Art Center

Our Halloween Banner

Making lunch for the residents...I had the sharp knife!

The boys play some wonderful tunes for the residents of the care home.

Mmmm! Pizza for dinner!

Yep, we are having fun...I wonder what the rest of the week will bring?

planning a party

2011-09-23T14:00:00.000-07:00

Man, I love Pinterest. Have you heard of it yet? It's this incredible thing. You create these boards and scour the Internet and "pin" ideas on the boards. What I love about it is that I am able to keep things in a place of order on the Net in a pretty, pretty manner. Organization? CHECK. An easy, mindless way to find new ideas/recipes/help? CHECK. Eye candy? CHECK. Oh it is bliss...sigh.

So anyway, I used Pinterest to create a board for my latest venture...a Halloween party for Rusty and his friends. I have been wanting to do a party for awhile now and I thought what could be better than a party where we get to see our cuties in all of the their costumed glory? I went on Pinterest and found all of these great ideas for the party. I'm not sure yet what I will or won't use, but man these things look fun!

Source: tasteofhome.com via Stacy on Pinterest

Source: pbs.org via Stacy on Pinterest

Source: ucreatewithkids.com via Stacy on Pinterest

Source: dana-made-it.com via Stacy on Pinterest

Source: lilluna.com via Stacy on Pinterest

Happy Pre-Halloween! Do YOU have any fun Halloween plans or ideas??

the ho hums

2011-09-21T10:33:00.003-07:00

I've been feeling a little down lately. It's been just about a week, actually. I couldn't really figure out what was going on. I was tired, sad, mopey, short on patience, irritable, and just generally down. It is hard to explain, I sort of felt like this weight was just pressing down on my chest, like a dreary, dark cloud was just hanging over my head.

In my mind, I knew that it made absolutely no sense at all. I have a wonderful husband, two beautiful boys, incredible friends and family...I should be singing and doing the happy dance all of the time...but I simply wasn't. Night after night I discussed it with Kevin during our prayer and devotional time. I wanted to escape, I was trying, but I just couldn't.

Last night, it came to a head. I was so tired of it. In the middle of the night I woke up to feed Rocky and I started wondering, could it be postpartum depression? I know that it can hit anytime within the first year after your baby is born, and I was really starting to wonder. I just sat there, holding him and praying. Begging God to take this darkness from me.

This morning, I woke up and my soul had sunshine. I was not immediately grumpy. I wanted to hug Rusty to no end. I was singing to Rocky. I had myself back. When I breathe, I don't feel that awful weight pressing on my chest. I don't feel that cloud following me around the house. I feel like...myself.

I don't know what happened. Just to clarify, I NEVER felt like I wanted to harm myself or my children, in fact their little smiles and chatter were getting me through it, but I can easily see how people can run into a downward spiral of depression. I wanted to write about it. I think we don't share these things enough. As I was going through it, there were people helping me out. My husband, every single day he prayed with me, he took the brunt of my impatience, he was even more helpful with things than he usually is. He was just there. My friend Sunny, she listened when I poured out my heart to her via email, and then sent me pictures of her own messy house just to remind me that everyone is living in their own messes and hey, it's okay! It made me smile and laugh. My friend Serenity prayed for me, I am sure without ceasing, and checked in with me often. They were there. On Monday night our good friends came over for dinner and didn't care that our house was messy and made us laugh and she listened to me say I didn't understand what was going on and said she had experienced the same things. All of these people were just there.

I don't know why I suddenly feel okay today. I know that some of it is prayer, but I am not going to preach here about saying that if you are feeling depression you should just pray and it will all go away. I have some people that are very dear to me that go through serious depression and need the help of doctors and sometimes medical intervention to help them. I think that God gives those doctors that wisdom just to help them. I was just about ready to get some of that help myself. I wanted to write about it so that people know...they know that they are not alone! I want them to know that other people go through this. I want them to know that it is okay to ask for help, maybe even medical help!

I feel like sometimes we pressure ourselves to be perfect...especially those of us that are moms. There is such a comparison game and we feel like we have to always be living up to this impossible standard, we aren't REAL with each other. The people that I mentioned above, and some others in my life, they are real with me. That is why I can connect with them. I can tell them when I'm having a bad day, or even a bad week and feel like life is spiraling out of control and I know that they will not judge me, they will not make me feel worse. They will simply ask how they can be there and how they can help.

I am pretty certain now that my ho-hums had to do with the change in the weather. When I moved up here it took me awhile to get used to the dreary, grey and rainy winters. After feeling like we had a bit shorter summer than normal I think this surprise and sudden grey and rain threw me for a loop. Now my system is adjusting again, and saying it is okay. But in an odd way, I am thankful for this past week. It is a reminder to me of how many people deal with this on a consistent basis, and how very difficult it must be for them. It gave me some more understanding and compassion. It was a reminder, I need to be real, and be THERE, for them. I hope you can do the same.

living the healthy life

2011-09-20T11:20:00.001-07:00

It was interesting that The Urban Momtographer's post for today was about a new website, Healthy Families BC. Just last night Kev and I were talking about living a healthier life, what that looks like, and what we can do to make that happen. I have been reading Lindsay Dianne's blog for quite some time, and she has been such a resource for me as I try to change our family into one that is living a healthier lifestyle. One of the things that I love so much about her blog is that it is so real. She doesn't pretend that everyone has unlimited resources or tons of time. She looks at life realistically and makes suggestions and gives ideas for things that easily fit into my natural rhythm of life.

One of the biggest challenges for me was feeding my family. Lindsay sort of challenged me on that by making me think of food as what it truly is, fuel for our bodies. Once I looked at it in that way, I realized I wanted to be giving my boys premium fuel, not low grade. There are so many easy ways to do that. Perhaps the biggest change I have made is to try to cook most of our meals from scratch. The biggest thing I love about cooking from scratch is that I know exactly what is in that food. There are no additives that I can't pronounce. I am surprised at how easy it has been.

Now, I want to be real, cooking from scratch perhaps costs a wee bit more, because you are using wayyy more fresh veggies, etc, but it is worth it in the incredible taste! It is so much better. It also can be more time consuming, but starting small makes it seem not so overwhelming.

I started out making small changes, and then one month took on a personal challenge, I took an entire month and cooked every meal from scratch without using anything boxed or frozen. I made sure that it was a month that wasn't too busy for us, and it was also once Rocky was a bit older and not as high needs. Once that month was over, I was so surprised at how this had changed my way of thinking about cooking.

One of my favorite things to make now is my own homemade tomato sauce. I had no idea that making tomato sauce from scratch could be as easy as it is. I started out using this post from Lindsay Dianne, and now have tweaked it to my own tastes and satisfaction. It is something that I can do without even thinking about now, and it tastes so much better than canned or jarred sauce. It is also something that I know once I start working again I can do in big batches and freeze to easily have on hand. Mmm...so worth it! If you are looking for a small start, an easy change, this is it. Once you have tried it, you will never want to go back to the old way.

Upon reading Lindsay's post for today, I was thrilled to see that there is a new resource for me to go to for bringing a healthier lifestyle to my family. Healthy Families BC is a great website. I have spent some time this morning browsing it. It is encouraging, easy to use, has great ideas for exercise, food...just about anything you need! I think I will be visiting this site a lot when I feel at my wits end or need an easy idea for a dinner. I signed up to follow them on Twitter as well, and I love the easy little tips that I have already gotten from them just today alone! I highly suggest checking it out.

Now, I'm not going to lie. A lot of the inspiration for this post came from the fact that Lindsay Dianne and Healthy Families BC are giving away a $250 gift card to LULULEMON for people that comment and share this good news, and I LOVE Lulu! The interesting thing, though, is that this has been something that has become super important to me lately anyway! I was planning to write about how it is changing my life, and what better reason than Lulu! Ha!

Changing your lifestyle can be easy, it just needs one step at a time. It also means not comparing yourself to someone else. Being healthy doesn't mean you have to use a ton of ingredients that you have no idea what they are. Lindsay has shown me that with the helpful posts she does and the ways that she reworks simple old recipes that we all know and love. It also doesn't have to mean signing up for an expensive gym or yoga studio, you can do things as simple as playing soccer in the backyard with your kids for an hour or going for family walks. We can be a healthier BC! It just takes a little effort!

What do you do to live a healthier lifestyle?

David Beckham in disguise

2011-09-18T09:59:00.003-07:00

OK, I don't normally post videos and such, but I actually laughed out loud when watching this. The other day David Beckham went under cover for the Ellen Show. He dressed up as a Target employee and...well, just watch. You will laugh too! Some of my highlights: him yelling at the lady, singing lady in red, getting women to smell his leg...hilarious stuff. The guy is a good sport!

tired

2011-09-17T20:40:00.000-07:00

I am so tired lately. Rocky has even been sleeping better-that 7th tooth finally came though-and waking only twice a night, usually about 5-6 hours apart. My awesome husband has also been letting me sleep in just about every morning so I have no idea what my problem is.

I do have a tendency to become anemic and I am wondering if that is my problem. Every time I have tried to donate blood except for once I have been denied, each time because they found that I was anemic. Crazy! I can see the signs, I am bruising very easily, I am extremely tired...and other things. I guess it's time to bulk up on the meat and other iron rich foods.

I take a multivitamin and usually that heads it off for the most part, but when the dizziness starts to settle in and I feel like I just about can't function I know it is time to do more. What is your favorite iron-rich food?

it's coming

2011-09-14T14:10:00.002-07:00

My return to work, that is. It's coming. I feel it looming, hanging over my head. I guess I shouldn't say it that way. I DO love my job. My staff is an amazing group of people, those kids rock, and I enjoy coming up with fun and creative lessons. I also love this at home life though. Sometimes I wish we could make it work for me to be home all of the time, but then I think that my perfect world would be me working 2-3 days a week. As a high school English teacher, however, that is tough to come by. SO, I work. I could go into the whole daycare/home debate, but that isn't really what I want to get into right now. I will just say that I am so incredibly thankful that Canada has a system that gives me a year at home with pay to spend with my kids after they are born. It is a leg up on what a lot of people I know get to experience. So, I'm thankful.

As I look to going back to work in about 4 months, there are things that I want to do to get ready. I think they will make that return to the working world a little easier. Maybe I am delusional...maybe they will work. We'll see.

First, I know that soon I need to start getting up earlier. This is tough, because Rocky is still waking up one, maybe two times a night for full feeds. He's a big eater, this one. Kev's work is a bit more flexible than the normal teacher, and right now I am usually getting to stay in bed until 8 or so while he watches the boys, has his breakfast, etc. When I am at work, however, I have to BE there by 8, and it is about a 20 minute drive away. So that means getting up, getting breakfast, showering, getting ready, helping get the boys ready for daycare, and getting out the door before 7:30 a.m. That is my target leaving time. That is when I was leaving last fall and it usually worked out pretty well. SO, that means getting up earlier...like probably 6 if I really want to get things done. It would give me time to do some dishes or something. Hmm...I think I will give myself until the end of the month before I start easing myself into getting up earlier. This morning I had to get up early, because Kevin had to be at the hospital for some tests by 7:45 a.m., which meant him leaving the house by 7:20, and you know what? It wasn't THAT bad.
Another thing that needs to happen will be weaning Rocky a bit more. I didn't really go back to work full time until Rusty was over 2! That made the whole weaning thing much easier. He was still nursing after 12 months, as I think Rocky will be too, but that means that he needs to learn to drink milk from a bottle or a sippy cup! I have been trying to introduce the sippy cup to him. His brother figured it out pretty quickly and I think he will too. He seems to enjoy playing with it. Moms that work, any tips would be great! I want to keep nursing him as long as I can, definitely at least to 12 months if not longer, but I will have to go on a five day sailing trip with my school in March so that means he will probably have to be fully weaned by then. There is no way I will be able to pump on that trip. He will be 14 months then. Help!
I need to get meals and such under control. Since I have been off, I have taken a more healthy approach to how we eat, and that involves making a lot more food totally from scratch! That means more time is involved. I have to figure out a way to make this work with the busier schedule. I won't have the afternoons and/or mornings at home to cook up my tomato sauce, etc. I think this will mean doing some BIG batches of stuff like tomato sauce on a weekend morning while playing with the boys and having Kevin around to help me out. I think that will help. I planned meals a lot when I was working before, and have already started getting back into that mode in order to prep myself. It takes so much stress out of things! I also know that I can make up big batches of things like the homemade goldfish crackers we made and fruit leather to use for Rusty and Rocky's snacks during the weeks! It doesn't have to be hard, it just takes planning...and a big deep freeze! Kev and I are researching deep freezers. This will revolutionize things for me. I will be able to cook up meals ahead of time, such as lasagna, and keep them in that deep freeze. We are looking around at different upright freezers, because I feel like the regular ones just make you lose everything in the deep abyss.
I must make sure that my coffee bean canister is always full and I always have coffee filters on hand. In fact, I think I will invest in one of those good reusable filters just to make sure that I never have the issue I had this morning, which was opening my cupboard and realizing that I had used the last filter yesterday and forgot to buy more at the grocery store. Plus hey, the reusable ones are MUCH more eco-friendly. Better get one of those ASAP. Coffee will make my days go much, much better. I am so very thankful for the wonderful coffee bean and the lovely blends that Starbucks creates. Mmmm!

It's coming, and it will be okay, I just have to get ready...and also enjoy every last minute I have with my two sweet boys!

beach, cars, crackers, and poop...yes, I said poop.

2011-09-13T21:52:00.004-07:00

Summer arrived late here in B.C. We had a cold and rainy June and about half of July. I was ready for some sun and actually thankful when I was able to head to South Dakota for a bit and enjoy some super hot weather. The past few weeks here have been gorgeous, and that, combined with my reality that I am going back to work in a few months has made me game for squeezing every last drop of good times with my boys out of these last few days.

Rusty is growing up. It is like he hit that three year old milestone and has suddenly become such a little man. He is funny, his reasoning skills are amazing us, he no longer naps, he tells jokes, and he is so, so sweet. I really enjoy my time with him. Rocky has better days when Rusty is around. This fall Rusty started up daycare two days a week again, in lieu of preschool and in order to keep his spot at our daycare. He loves it and enjoys seeing his friends but Rocky and I? We miss him. Kev was saying how I would probably get a lot done and such on those days and I do, but man, the house seems quiet. I never realized how much I actually talk to him and he talks to me, and how well he keeps Rocky entertained. Those days when Rusty walks in the door after school Rocky gets the BIGGEST smile on his face. They are so cute together, those two. Rusty is so sweet to Rocky and always is his champion. It is wonderful, truly. We constantly and consistently pray that their bond will just continue to grow and they will be the best of friends. The other day we were driving in the car and Rusty piped up and said, "I LOVE Rocky, he is my BEST friend." It just totally melted my heart.

Anyway, I digress. With these two beautiful boys around I just want to soak up the time with them before I go back to work in February. I feel like the hours are ticking away, so I'm trying to do as many fun adventures and activities with them as I can. With that in mind, yesterday we packed up and went to the beach, and today was spent making some yummy snacks and playing fun games at home.

I love living around here. There are many beautiful places to visit, and we hit up one of those incredible places yesterday. I was so excited that one of my very best and dearest friends and her sweet little girl were able to meet up with us. We had a delicious picnic on the beach, the kids played in the sand-or rather Rocky crawled around in it, ate it, smeared it all over his face and Rusty and Sweet Pea played in it-and we just enjoyed the incredible, God-breathed scenery and the sun beating down upon us. Rusty loves the beach, and I look forward to many more times there with he and his little brother.

Yes, Rocky IS trying to eat a rock...we promptly moved to the sand!

Which he ALSO ate a lot of!

Love little Sweet Pea!

And I love her pretty mama quite a lot too!

Of COURSE I can't get enough of this boy!

Today was an at home day, of sorts, but probably one of my best days with my little guys in a long time. Rusty and I made homemade goldfish crackers, we painted, we played cars, we built block roads, we met Daddy for lunch at McDonald's, and we went to the dollar store for a very special reason!

First of all, the goldfish crackers. I came across the recipe on Twitter and then sent it to my friend Lindsay Dianne. She is a great chef and cook, and I knew that she would try out the recipe and make any changes that needed to be made. I wasn't disappointed..she did and the results were amazing! I took the reworked recipe off of her post about it, and we went to work. This recipe is incredibly easy, and if you try it, you will love it!

First off, it takes butter, cheese-we used old cheddar, flour, a teensy bit of salt, and water. That's it. Five ingredients. I looked at the actual goldfish label, and even the whole grain ones have 10 ingredients. That's double, in case your math skills stink. We are always trying to be more healthy in this house, and this is a recipe I will most definitely be making again.

Before we assembled the ingredients, first I had to make mini "cracker cutters." They have to be tiny, and the recipe suggested using a pop can. I cut one into strips and then fashioned four cutters-a heart, a circle, a triangle and, of course, a fish! I just bent them into shape and then taped them with masking tape along the top.

This morning I coarsely chopped up the cheese and cut the butter into thin strips. We then threw all of the ingredients into the food processor and we were ready to go. I'm not sure you could do this in a blender. I use my blender in lieu of my food processor a lot when I don't want to have to wash the processor, because it is more difficult, but this one, I think, would need a food processor.

Rusty was in charge of pushing the pulse button, and he did great. After the ingredients got crumbly we slowly added in the water and it was perfect. We put it in a ball on the table and then rolled it out.

It was SOOOO easy to roll out, and easy to cut with the cracker cutters. Rusty loved this part! He cut so many of the pieces and helped me lay them all out on the cookie sheet. At first I was tempted to double the recipe, but I'm glad I didn't! This one recipe alone makes a TON of the crackers!

After we got them all cut and laid out on the cookie sheets, I baked them at 350 for fifteen minutes...perfect! They puffed up nicely and are so crispy and cheesy. They taste SO much better than the regular crackers, and I think it would be incredibly easy to adjust them. You could use pepper jack cheese, or add some random spices to change the flavor a bit. I think they are also a wonderful snack for your children, and are pretty wholesome! Once Rusty starts daycare full time again, I plan to make them for snacks for his lunch on a pretty regular basis.

Speaking of Rusty, he loves them! He kept eating the dough raw, which was fine I guess, since there were no raw eggs! Once they were baked he was crazy for them. He tried his first one and said, "Mommy, I LOVE them!" He gave them his famous Rusty Thumbs Up. It was a fun time together.

We finished our day with lunch with Daddy, playing cars and building block roads while his brother slept. It was truly an awesome afternoon.

One of the best parts of our day? Rusty pooped in the potty! He did it! He was soooo proud of himself. He rocked it and we were so excited that I took him to the dollar store to pick out a prize for himself. He picked a Roberto Luongo goalie stick and we then went home and played hockey in the basement.

I don't mean for this to be all about Rusty by any means. Our little Rocky is rocking our world these days. Even though he doesn't talk, he babbles, and babbles! He is a little jabberbox these days. He is also EVERYWHERE. He is a super speedy crawling machine. He never even did the backwards crawl, just went straight to crawling and is now into everything. My days consist of hearing his little hands and legs moving on the laminate as he follows me from room to room. He is a pretty content little guy, and will sit in the living room taking his toys out of the boxes we keep them in for a long time. He also loves to follow his big brother all over the house, and Rusty is uber patient with his little buddy.

Rocky is crazy for his daddy. Every morning Kev goes in and gets Rocky up and is always greeted with a huge smile. Any time that Rocky sees his daddy it is all smiles, in fact. We stop at Kev's work to see him and it is huge smiles. Kev comes home from work and Rocky stands holding himself up at the top of the stairs and smiles down at Kevin until he comes up and picks Rocky up. It is wonderful!

Yep, at the end of the day I had a messy house and two giggling boys. I would say that is a sign of a successful day!

doors.

2011-09-11T20:46:00.003-07:00

Finally, FINALLY! We finally have kitchen cabinet doors. You didn't already have them, you ask? Why no, no we didn't. It's a long story...here goes!

Well, maybe not so long. Basically, we moved into this house-our first home we bought together!-in January of 2010. It was the end of the month, I was pregnant and couldn't paint. Our kitchen was rocking a MAJOR 70s vibe, I am 100% certain that it was the original kitchen that the home was built with. The cabinets themselves were in great shape. I am sure that they were custom built, solid wood, and with a wood trim around them that didn't look all that bad, if it weren't a natural wood color, that is! Check it out.

These were taken the day we toured the house...yeah 70s, but we could see potential!

So, we knew that we couldn't do a total kitchen rehaul, it simply was not in the budget, nor am I sure if it will ever be. But we could paint. Or so we thought. I ended up being pregnant, then not pregnant, then pregnant again. In between those times life was busy. The problem was, we took off all of the cabinet doors when we moved in, and my father-in-law started the painting. He filled all the holes and sanded it down, as well as priming most of the cabinets and doing a first coat of paint on some of them. He worked hard, and we so appreciated it.

We finally got the chance this past weekend to finish the painting...or rather I did. I laid the cabinets all out on the lawn, and rolled on some satin finish latex paint. It rolled on very nicely, and looked great. My biggest problem was hoping that the paint dried before bugs tried to get into it. After some drying time I did another coat on the fronts and one on the back and they were DONE!

We had to wait a good amount of time to let them dry really well. We had tried to hang some of them shortly after painting them previously and they got dinged up, so I decided to be patient this time and waited FIVE WHOLE DAYS. It was worth it. This time when we hung them, no problemo! They were great!

One of the best things that we did was to find hinges that almost exactly matched the former old hinges. It made hanging a breeze! No filling old holes or drilling new ones. We just put the hinges right on where the previous hinges were, and hung them in the same exact spot they were hung!

After that, it was time for the new hardware. We chose knobs and handles in brushed nickel, and they look fantastic. We invested in an awesome $2 template from IKEA that helps you make sure that you drill the hole for the knob in the same place each time, and it was so slick! It made the job a lot easier.

I am so thrilled with the results. After a year and a half with no cabinet doors it feels like a completely new kitchen! I feel more organized and less chaotic just because I can't see the stuff in my cabinets. They were organized-they had to be, everyone could see them!-but I could still see everything in them. It is so wonderful to have them all hidden away!

There are still so many things I would love to do to the kitchen. I would love to put in a new countertop, a backsplash, even a tile floor, but I really don't see any of that happening any time soon. I am just thankful to have these cabinets done. They look so much better, I love them!

In his time

2011-09-09T20:00:00.000-07:00

Our Rusty is a sweet, special little guy. He loves to laugh, he is silly, he is sensitive to the needs of others, and he is thoughtful. Yesterday I posted an interview with Rusty. We asked him the questions last night after his little brother was in bed and we were just hanging out with him. After he went to bed and we were doing our devotions and praying, we started talking about Rusty and his answers to the questions.

I was mentioning how it warmed my heart to see that he was really understanding the things that we desire for him, and also that he was making choices of his own, as was evidenced in his answers. Kevin said that something that really struck home for him was Rusty's answer to what makes him sad. He said "Not pooping in the potty."

We have been working hard on potty training lately. Peeing in the toilet has been going great, but he still hasn't quite understood the poo part. He tries, sometimes. He knows the answers to say, that he needs to poop on the potty and when we have the potty right there and can tell it is coming he makes it and he is sooooo proud. Hearing him say that it makes him sad when he doesn't poop on the potty really touched our hearts. It showed us that yet again, our little guy gets it, he just hasn't got it yet. He gets what needs to happen, but we don't really think he quite understands exactly how it works yet. It was like a neon sign telling us that we need to just give him his time.

Rusty is a kid that likes to please. If he isn't doing something-like pooping on the potty or giving up a soother-it is likely because he just isn't quite ready yet. We have learned with him when to push things and say that it isn't ok and it needs to happen now and when it can happen in his own time.

I remember about six months ago. I was stressed about the fact that Rusty still used a soother-a pacifier for those of you in the States!-and wondered if it was going to cause issues for him as far as dental, etc. Our doctor told me not to worry, that before long he would be giving it up. She suggested talking to him about it. We talked about it and chose his third birthday as the time. We talked it up for a week ahead of time, saying that when he turned three he would be a big boy and no longer need a soother. Let me tell you...I thought it would be rough. For Rusty, the soother was his LOVEY. He didn't have special blanket, or a special stuffy that he loved, it was his soother. He could often be seen with two soothers in hand and he would switch them in and out of his mouth. He loved his soother.

The day after we had his third birthday party we took him to the mall and told him to pick out a special "lovey" that would help him if he was sad to be without his soother. He picked a puppy dog pillow pet and that night we made a big deal of giving us all of the soothers and putting him to bed. He fell right to sleep! The next morning he found a soother under his bed and sort of cackled as he came out of his room with it in his mouth, saying "LOok!" but then gave it to us right away when we asked and he has never looked back! He hasn't asked for it once, and has been just fine without it. It showed me that what I know about my son is true, we have to be sensitive to his timing, not the timing of what others think he should be doing. I can't tell you how many people would tell him "You don't need that soother," and pluck it out of his mouth. For him, he DID still need it, and it wasn't hurting him, and now he doesn't need it.

The pooing on the potty is the same, we have decided. He needs his time to understand it. He will get it. He won't be pooping in his pants when he is a teenager. It will end. We need to just keep trying to catch it, keep trying to encourage it, and NOT make a big deal out of it or punish him when it doesn't happen. With our Rusty, that turns it into failure in his mind and then he shuts down and doesn't respond as well. He loves words of affirmation, and that is the best thing that we can do for him! Kev said last night that Rusty's answer to that question did it for him. He has felt somewhat frustrated by Rusty's lack of poo progress-it was funny to write that!-but hearing Rusty say that he was sad when he didn't poop in the potty made him realize that Rusty really is trying, and that he thinks about it. He said, "We just need to give him time! He will get it in his time." So true.

I am thankful that we have this sweet boy. I am thankful that he loves to please, that he is kind to others, that he is funny. I don't want those things to go away. I know that it is a fine line as to when to push him into something and when to let it happen...I am glad we are learning how to walk that line. He'll get it, in his time!

Interview with Rusty 2011

2011-09-08T21:56:00.000-07:00

My friend from Sunny's Place gave me this great idea the other day. She has a little guy that is just one day older than my Rusty, and she said she had just interviewed him with a set of questions. She decided she will do this every year, and I thought since Rusty just turned three this was the perfect time! I wrote his answers down exactly as he said them, no altering at all! I really enjoyed it, and I can't wait to ask him the same questions again next year and see what he says then!

1. Rusty, what is something I always say to you? I love you.

2. Rusty, what makes Mommy happy? Listen and obey.

3. What makes Rusty happy? Jesus

4. What makes Mommy sad? When I don't listen and obey.

5. What makes Rusty sad? Not going poop in the pot.

6. How do I make you laugh? Like this...HAA HAAAAA! (Said with GREAT gusto!)

7. What do you think I was like as a child? I don't know.

8. How old am I (Mommy)? Two years old.

9. How tall am I? VERY tall!

10. What is my favorite thing to do? Go outside.

11. What do I do when you're not around. Get sad. (Aww, made my heart melt. He is RIGHT!)

12. What will I become famous for? For doing things...like making me laugh.

13. What am I good at? Peeing. (Great, thanks for that Rusty.)

14. What am I NOT good at? Not going pee in the pot. (Wow, so apparently he thinks I am REALLY good at peeing on the toilet!)

15. What is my job? To fix something.

16. What is my favorite food? Mushrooms (Interesting...I DO like them, but it's not like I put them on everything! Funny what they pick up on!)

17. What makes you proud of Mommy? When you do something for me.

18. What makes me proud of you? Going to Red Robin's.

19. What do you and I do together? Go everywhere together.

20. How are we the same? I don't know...very useful.

21. How are we different? By painting or something, and green or pink.

22. How do you know that I love you? By jumping.

23. What is one thing you wish you could change about me? Going to Red Robin's. (I think he just wants to go there!)

24. How old is Daddy? THREE!

25. How tall is Daddy? (He ran over to Daddy on the couch and started climbing him and said, "I'm measuring how tall you are...then said,) SO SO SO TALL!

26. What is Daddy's job? To his school. (Very good! He IS a teacher!)

I enjoyed just chatting with him and I think I will definitely do this again next year with the same questions and maybe a few more! Oh to be inside the mind of a three year old!

Photo by Raja Photography

Happy birthday to you!

2011-09-07T14:57:00.003-07:00

I know he doesn't always read my blog-hey, he's a pretty busy guy-but I still have to wish him a very Happy Birthday today anyway.

Honey, I love you. Happy birthday to you! You are an amazing man. I still remember meeting each other, 10 years ago now, in the San Francisco airport. I will never forget walking behind this sexy guy with gorgeous blue eyes or the moment that you turned to me and struck up a conversation. I will forever be grateful that God called both of us to China that year. You are a true blessing in my life.

You are an incredible father. I feel so thankful that my precious boys have a dad that they can look up to. I am grateful that you are a man of integrity, and that you look to the Lord for guidance and that they will grow up knowing that. I love that you are passionate about the things that you truly care for, and that you also know how to be funny and to have fun. I appreciate your ability to stay strong and to not let the fears and worries of life get to you...I pray that our boys will inherit that from you. I am always amazed at how long you can play soccer/hockey/baseball/whatever else Rusty wants to play with him in the backyard. I love how you simply tote Rocky around and look after his needs. I know that you will be there for our boys, that you will coach the teams, attend the games, head to the early morning hockey practices, try to never, EVER miss a game unless you can't help it because you love them. I ADORE that when asked who is best friend is, Rusty usually says, "Daddy!"

You are a wonderful husband. You are a helper, a true partner in our household. I never forget how blessed I am to have a man that does his own laundry, wants to cook when I am stressed, loads up (and unloads) the dishwasher any time you see it needs done, sweeps up the crumbs...I could go on and on. I am thankful that you like to spoil me, that you understand that the little things count, that a latte in my hand after a long night can make my day so much better, or that a snuggle and prayer/Bible time together before bed is a true and worthwhile basis for our marriage. I like that you can still make me laugh on a daily basis and that you still tell me I am beautiful even after 6 years of marriage. I love that you laugh at my stupid antics and think they are adorable. I enjoy our deep conversations and our times of prayer together. I appreciate that we don't have to fight and argue to figure things out. I think you are a great, and a loyal, friend.

I simply adore you, Kevin. You are a great man, and I am thankful that you chose me! Happy birthday to you, Schmoopie! You deserve the best of days.

a getaway

2011-09-06T21:24:00.000-07:00

We went away to our cottage for a bit last week. It was the first time we have been up there this summer that we had really great, hot, wonderful weather. It was the kind of visit that made me remember why I fell in love with that place so much in the first place. I really look forward to someday when we can be up there with the boys a bit older and able to just truly relax-and also have better sleep! Regardless of the sleep, we had an amazing time.

Our boys had some good times both together AND with their Nana and Papa...

We stayed squeaky clean!

My big boy and I took a special walk together, just he and I. It was a blast to just walk with him for over an hour, talking and seeing what he had to say. He is one special little dude, I am crazy for him!

We played in the sand...

and ate some more of Nana's AMAZING blackberry pie!

Rocky woke up early, so we also took a special walk together, and he enjoyed crawling around on a blanket!

A visit to the cottage isn't complete without a visit to Sandy Beach! Bliss!

Another great visit to the cottage...I actually can't wait until next year when we can go again!

My baby turns 3.

2011-08-31T21:54:00.002-07:00

My sweet baby boy turned three today. We already had his party with his friends this weekend, and today was all about him. He got whatever he wanted for breakfast-he chose a cereal bar, huh. Then as soon as his baby brother woke up from his nap we took Rusty to one of his favorite places, a local play centre. It is huge, like a jungle with all kinds of nets, slides, and even an indoor, padded soccer area. He loved it, and loved it even more that I was able to go down the slides with him and crawl around in the nets, since Papa was taking good care of Baby Brother.

Next we met up with Daddy-who was at a work meeting...school starts soon :(-and Nana at Red Robin's. We told Rusty he could go anywhere he wanted for lunch, and he chose Red Robin's. We were okay with that, because we love eating there too! He gobbled up his french fries, mac and cheese, and apple slices.

He got a little bit scared and shy when they came out to do the birthday cheer, but perked right up when he saw the huge dish of ice cream they brought. He said, "It has SPRINKLES!" and then proceeded to eat about two bites. Yum, all the more for us! He LOVED his balloon and cried, of course, when it flew away when we got home. He quickly got over it though and was back to his happy self!

We finished the day by letting him watch whatever shows he wanted at home-he chose Bob the Builder and Roary the Racing Car-and then some soccer in the backyard. We loved spending the day celebrating our precious boy. Three years ago he rocked our world when he entered it, and our love for him just grows with each day that passes! Happy birthday baby boy! I can't believe you are THREE!

celebration

2011-08-30T14:00:00.001-07:00

We had a celebration here on Saturday. The little man is turning three. Three! I cannot believe that my sweet boy is already three. He seems to be growing up right before my very eyes these days.

We partied Canucks style. Months ago I started thinking about his party and what it should be. The previous two parties were more for me than him, let's be honest. I don't think he really remembers them, but this time it was different. He understood, and was excited. I asked him what kind of party he wanted, and he said "Canucks." So, Canucks it was.

This year we were a bit more low key...fewer guests, more chill, with a last minute trip to a play centre added in for extra fun. The boy said he loved it, and everyone seemed relaxed, so I guess it was a hit! The best part was later that evening. I was giving Rusty his bath, and he looked up at me and said, completely unprompted, "Thanks for my celebration Mommy!" Sweet, sweet boy. I love you!

family

2011-08-25T21:43:00.000-07:00

My Nessa is a great photographer and is making a decent living at it back home in So Dak. While she was here, we decided to have her shoot a few pics of our little family, since it has grown a bit, our Rocky is older than he was during the last photos, and the price was right...free! She did a great job. She was only able to edit a few before she took off for home, but I can't wait to see the rest! I thought I would share a few with you!

I love my little family. Thanks, Ness!

The Oregon Coast

2011-08-24T11:26:00.000-07:00

It's been a bit crazy around here lately. The end of July brought an impromptu trip to South Dakota for my grandmother's illness and to say goodbye to her, as well as her funeral. We returned from that just in time to unpack and wash clothes before packing up and heading off yet again.

We finally were getting around to checking of #34 on my 101 Things List. There are few people that we enjoy hanging out with as much as my cousins Matt and Vanessa and their kids. In the last three years we have managed to build a pretty strong relationship with them and to see them quite consistently as well. Lucky for me, they LOVE Canada, and can't get enough of it. They have been here FOUR times since Summer of 2009. Their kids love it too, and every time we come Rusty has so much fun with them that he doesn't want them to leave. They planned to head up here this summer as well, but we decided to add a little twist to that this year, and we drove down to meet up with them for a mini vacation on the Oregon Coast. We spent three nights camping just south of Cannon Beach and we loved it! Originally we had planned to try to go to California and Disneyland, but that will have to be in the future when the kids are older. For this summer, three nights of camping was just perfect. We had not tent camped since we had Rusty, and we were excited that both of our boys did well with it. I think that means more camping in the future!

We went to the Tillamook Cheese Factory...mmm, free samples!

We also enjoyed the Garibaldi 1800s Steam Engine in a ride from Garibaldi to Rockaway Beach and back.

We hit the beach...several times, and came home with a ~~tiny~~ HUGE amount of sand.

We loved all of the beautiful scenery we took in.

We bought Rusty his very first kite and flew it on the beach, the winds were perfection!

We enjoyed lots of saltwater taffy in Seaside and true crab nirvana at Dooger's in Cannon Beach.

We had a great time sleeping in our borrowed tent, and the boys did great. Rusty loved heading to bed in his sleeping bag each night and Rocky slept awesome. It must have been all of the fresh air! Kev and I made notes for things we will do differently next time, but overall, we had a blast. I love me some fresh smores cooked over a campfire, after all!

Goodbye Grandma

2011-08-10T16:29:00.001-07:00

It has been more than two weeks since I last posted, and there is a reason for this. On Friday, July 22nd, I received a phone call that my grandma was being taken to hospital. She was experiencing significant pain in her back and was very weak. By Sunday, they were doing an endoscopy, discovering that it was too difficult for them to even get in due to the lesions in her stomach. After that it was all downhill from there.

They discovered that she had metastatic cancer, invading her entire body. She also was bleeding internally, and after two blood transfusions her counts were still extremely low. At that point we knew...she wouldn't be going home.

I had just visited Grandma in April. I had a wonderful visit with her and Grandpa, and she met Rocky. I had visited with her about all sorts of things...how she and Grandpa met, what it was like to raise five boys on a farm, and many other things. We reminisced about what great times we had always had together when I was little. It truly was a wonderful visit. The last time I left she got herself up out of her chair. She hasn't been doing well healthwise for several years, and I remember saying, "It's ok Grandma, I will lean to you." She refused and got up, then hugged me...so tight. My grandma always cries when one of us leaves, and says, "I love you, honey." It is that same tone that she always has, the love just flows with her tone. I hugged her tight. I love hugging my grandma. I love how little she is, how her head fits just under my chin. I cried too, and she said, "I LOVE you honey!" It is weird, almost like she knew what was coming...I wonder if she did.

Anyway, on Sunday we got the call, she probably wouldn't make it through the day. I was distraught, a mess, in tears. Even though I had that great visit in April, I wanted one more hug. My relatives all started heading for South Dakota. My brother, his wife, and my cousins were quickly driving across the state to be by her side, my sister and aunt were flying in from Texas, my cousin was flying in from Arizona. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to go, but there was the possibility I wouldn't even make it in time.

Well, Grandma is one tough lady! On Monday morning she was still alive, and even talking with the family. Kev and I worked hard, and got the boys and I on a flight for Tuesday-three flights that is. I made it in time...Grandma lasted one more week, and I got to have that last hug, those last I love yous, and I even got to sing to her. It was precious, and I am glad I went. My grandma is amazing...I miss her.

She passed peacefully on Monday morning, August 1st, around 8 a.m. It was strange, I was staying at my cousin Matt's house. We had just said, "Well, Grandma made it through another night!" when the phone rang. She had just passed, peacefully, in her sleep. It was what we all hoped for. After a week of her being in such pain and struggling, she had gone to see Jesus in her sleep.

Christmas 2008

I can't even express how incredible my grandmother was. People have told me for years that I am like her. Even Grandma herself told me that the last time I visited her. I can only hope that I will be just like her as I grow older. It would be such an incredible gift to be like Grandma.

My Grandma...as best I can express:

She loved her children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. She had a lot of them! She had five rambunctious boys. My dad was the oldest. They all grew up on the farm. When my dad was 20, my grandma and grandpa adopted my aunt, Lana, from Korea. She was eight. Grandma took her in and loved her as her beloved daughter. One night while I was sitting by Grandma's bed with my aunt in the care home, Lana was stroking her and saying "Do you love your daughter, Mom?" Grandma struggled and spoke, "Yes." Grandma had 18 grandchildren. I am so blessed to come from this big, wonderful family. Grandma taught all of us grandchildren how to love. She had 20 great grandchildren. Every time one of us had another child, Grandma was so excited. It is her legacy. At her funeral we were all there-most of us anyway-and we filled half of the church. The great grandkids were doing their best to behave, restless in the hot church. I had to laugh as I looked around at us shushing our babies, and giving the kids something to keep them quiet. After the funeral I was talking with someone and she said, "What a beautiful legacy it is, I just looked at all of you and your kids and thought how beautiful it is that Ed and Laura have this legacy, these wonderful children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren to carry on what they started." She was right, it is the best...the most beautiful legacy.

My Last Picture With Both of my Grandparents

Grandma loved God. She loved Him with her whole heart. She never minced words about that. She knew who her Savior was, and she let everyone else know it too. She did her best to teach each of us about that, as well as many other children. She taught Good News Clubs after school to the school kids in her home. Many children came to know the Lord because of her wonderful commitment to Him and serving Him. She loved to hear hymns, and knew them all. Even in her last days, one of her favorite things was having one or all of us sing various hymns to her, and at her funeral the first song we all sang was "Jesus Loves Me." Although it was hard, it truly blessed me to sit by her hospital bed and sing to her, even Rusty sang with me to her, and anytime we would ask her if she wanted us to sing, she would try her best to say, "Yes." It was always yes. In the end, my dad asked Grandma if she was going to take care of her great grandbabies when she got to heaven. Several of us have had losses, and she responded by making her eyes wider. She knew what was coming, and it was precious to see that she would do her best to carry on being the best Grandmother she could be.
Grandma loved her husband. She and my grandpa had one of those once in a lifetime loves...they had been together for 66 years. 66 years! I hope to get that long with my man. Grandma taught me the right way to love him. She always supported Grandpa, and although they joked around and occasionally squabbled-mostly in the last few years when they both started forgetting things and couldn't hear one another!-we all knew that they loved one another endlessly. It was so sad to see my grandpa watching my grandma grow weaker. He would stroke her face, and kiss her all over it. He was there as soon as someone could take him in each day and lingered each night until she fell asleep. They are that "The Notebook" kind of love. I almost expected my grandpa to pass the same day my grandma did, and I can see how much he misses her. My heart aches for him. He was well loved by this woman throughout his life and he loved her well right back. I visited my grandpa a few days after Grandma passed. There were these pictures stuck up around the house and one was of him as a young farmer just starting out. I commented on how handsome he was, and what a nice picture it was. He replied, "Yes, your grandma just started taping those pictures up all over." I think she wanted to see him at all stages of life, and be reminded of how she had loved him at each phase as well. They are true love, and love that I respect and can model my own marriage after.
Grandma had a sense of humor! I guess you have to in order to raise five boys on a farm in the days before DVDs! She had her hands full, but she did a great job. I know she was a wonderful mother, each one of her boys-now grown men with children and grandchildren of their own-agrees. They were loyal to her in all things, and would have done anything for her. My aunt wrote a beautiful message talking about what a wonderful mother my grandma was. She brought her sense of humor out even in those last days. I was talking to her and said, "Grandma, I don't know how you raised FIVE boys! I have my hands full with two!" My dad piped up, "Well we were always GOOD!" Grandma responded by saying, "Ha!" the best that she could. She was always making a joke, and had a constant little twinkle in her eye.
Grandma had strength. Incredible, amazing, faith bolstered strength. We all saw that even in the end. The doctors and hospice care kept saying, "Say your goodbyes, she might not make it through the day..." and she lasted an entire week after that. She would open her eyes, talk if she could, and even try to smile.
Grandma knew what the meaning of GRANDPARENTS was. She was always finding ways to entertain us. Most of her grandkids lived just a few miles from her, and we spent as much time at her house as we did at our own. She played endless games of Sorry, she had sleepovers for us, she created a fishing game for us, she decorated Christmas ornaments with us, played Old Maid, sang with us, read to us...I have so many memories with her. She and my grandpa had an in-ground pool at their house, and every summer we spent most of the afternoon there, swimming. One time she and my grandpa took all of the kids to a hotel in a nearby town and kept us there overnight, giving us treats, taking us swimming and mini-golfing. We all remember that, and hold fondly to that precious memory. Grandma would often keep just a few of us as well. My sister, cousin and I would stay in their motor home with them at Hart Ranch, a favorite place for us. She would take us swimming and spoil us with one of her favorite treats-Jelly Belly Jelly Beans.

Yes, Grandma was a special lady.

I cry easily-that comes from her. She had a tender heart, and she passed that tender heart onto many of us. My dad and most of my cousins all cry when we need to. When something touches our hearts, you can see the tears streaming down our faces.

I have her chin...that stubborn chin. It can be pretty set when I am determined, just like hers was. It gives a particular shape to her face, one that I share. Apparently-according to Grandma-I have small feet just like her.

I hope that I will be just like her in my strength. That I will meet challenges head on. That I will lean on my Savior for strength, that I will not be afraid to be tough when I need to be.

I hope that I will love my kids the way that she did. That I will teach them about Jesus like she did. That they will see me pray, and read my Bible, and love my Lord the way that she did.

I hope that I have a sense of humor like she did. I hope that I can see the joy in all things. That I can make others laugh in the middle of even the most difficult circumstances.

I hope that I will love, and live life to the fullest, just like she did...and someday, when I see her again we will both be full of joy, because I lived life like Grandma did. I love you Grandma, and I miss you. I will miss you always until we meet again. Thank you for loving me, thank you for teaching me to laugh, and thank you for showing me how to love and honor Jesus. Your legacy lives on in all of us.

Seeing her the night I arrived...we thought she might not make it through the night...she made it five more days. She was one tough lady!

I just want to run...

2011-07-21T22:51:00.000-07:00

I really, really want to run. I tried tonight, for the first time in over a year. It was going awesome, until about 20 minutes in when my knee locked up...again.

This is an ongoing issue. I've been dealing with it since before Rusty was born in 2008. I had started running a lot, doing a few races, etc. I enjoyed it so much. It was a way for me to be alone and clear my head, but then the knee factored in.

I was in a car accident in 1993 or 94 that messed up my knee. I didn't really have proper treatment for it and I am wondering if it is coming into play now. Back in 2009 I saw a specialist and he prescribed a lot of physiotherapy. I had really high hopes, which I expressed here. My hopes were dashed though. After months of intensive therapy I tried to run-on my therapists ok-for the first time and found myself right back at square one. I was just about to go to a different specialist when I found out I was pregnant with Rocky, so we put it on hold. I am hoping I can get in again, and soon. I really need something to be done.

It's not just running either, it is walking down hills, sometimes swimming, and other forms of activity. I like to be fit and active. When I started the run tonight it felt almost as if my body was thanking me for getting back at it, so having this knee that refuses to bend is sooo frustrating to me. I just want to run. I am also extremely jealous. I have a lot of friends and family that have gotten into running lately and I am constantly seeing their feeds on Facebook. Every time I do it reminds me that I can't do what I long to be doing. Tonight when I was out there on that trail, listening to my music, I felt this crazy calm come over my body and I just felt in the zone and peaceful. Oh how I miss that. I have not found it in any other form of exercise. I LOVE yoga, and I can find that calm there, but the running, it helps me to beat my frustrations out on the path.

I hope that I can get there soon. I really, really just want to run.

Photoshoots, Poop, and Cold Weather

2011-07-18T13:43:00.001-07:00

What do these things have in common? Nothing, except that they have been interesting-and sometimes disgusting-things that are at the forefront of life for me right now.

The first one, photoshoots, is something that I am pretty excited to talk about. I have a bloggy friend that is a very talented photographer. She took our little Rocky's one month photos awhile back and did a killer job. She takes photos of a lot of stuff, and has finally gotten up the gumption to call herself an artist. (Which she should have done a long time ago as far as I'm concerned. Her work is amazing.) She decided to take on an independent art project called Femininity in the City in which she showcases different women showing their femininity in different urban settings. She asked for volunteers awhile back and I thought "Why not?" As the time for my shoot arrived, however, I became pretty nervous!

The women she had shot up to that point were incredible. They were gorgeous, talented, and actually looked like models. I was thinking that my suburban staying at home mom that is usually in jeans and a ponytail self would not quite measure up. The evening that the shoot was to take place I curled my hair, did my makeup, threw on my dress and headed to the playground where we were supposed to meet up. My nerves were at a high, but soon Lindsay and her assistant, Annie, had me relaxed. It was really fun to be a part of this project and it is exciting to see the end result. Check out what she has done thus far here: FEMININITY IN THE CITY. I can't wait for the final show!

As for the poop, that's the somewhat disgusting part. Our Rusty is potty training. The potty part of it is going great! He seems to really get it and has done an amazing job with peeing on the potty. We have done a reward chart and he has to get 15 stickers to pick a prize. He seems to really be getting in the habit of peeing in the potty and holding it. The poo however? Different story. He has pooped on the potty, but it is nowhere near regularly yet. In my head I know these things take time, but when I am cleaning a nasty mess out of his underwear I sort of want to fast forward to the part where he is "getting" that part of things too. Ugh...here's to hoping it is soon!

Cold weather? That is the disgusting part too. Now, I am not one that normally complains about the weather. I know that God makes the rain and the sun, but right now I have to admit, I want a little more sun. It is JULY. JULY! July is usually our hottest month up here in BC, and with the weather we have been having I am not hopeful about how the rest of the summer is going to go. I have worn shorts just a handful of times, and I have pulled out my sweater or hoody too many times than I want to admit. We just spent a weekend up at our summer cottage and I spent most of it feeling cold and huddled in the cottage to avoid the downpours. When I came home to a very cold house as well I said, "That's it!" and we turned our heat on, just for the night. We shut it off again this morning, but man, as I catch wee glimpses of sun here and there I can't help but wonder, will the heat ever arrive? As I type this I know that there are crazy heat waves almost everywhere else and everyone wants to send me their heat. I would gladly take it. I am one of those crazy people that prefers to be hot to cold. I am ready for that heat to come my way...when will it???

Little Gifts

2011-07-12T21:19:00.000-07:00

I feel like our little guys are such little gifts in our lives. They are constantly making me smile, laugh and I kid you not, my heart actually floods with joy when I look at them.

Some of the precious gifts of late:
Rusty...the kid is just full of it. Although he continues to challenge us on a daily basis, he is also so full of love, laughter and outright silliness! Rusty really loves music. Often we will pop open the computer and play various songs, and one of his all time favorite songs is "Hosanna." He loves that song. Last night he was being really sweet and obeying really well. He asked if he could listen to "Hosanna" while we ate dinner, so we said he could. Next thing we knew he was raising up his hands like he was conducting an orchestra and listening with his eyes closed. It was A.DOR.ABLE! I wish so much that I had run and grabbed my video camera, but it is a moment that I know will always stay in my mind's eye. He was absolutely precious.

He also has taken on the responsibility lately of making his baby brother super happy. If Rocky starts fussing when he is on his play mate Rusty will run over and sing to him, clap, or any other number of things to make Rocky smile. I love, love, love driving in the car with both of them!! Rusty will sing to Rocky, or laugh or make funny faces and Rocky goes nuts. He will just giggle and giggle at his big brother. It is simply the cutest thing!

Rusty is also learning potty training! The last two days we have gone full force and he is doing such a great job. He is so proud of himself and he says, "I don't need diapers anymore! They are for babies like Rocky!"

And the things he says! Wow...I wish I had a recorder running 24/7...I can never remember to write everything down! Some of the gems of late:
"OOOhhh...I'm squeaky clean. Actually, it's nice to be squeaky clean!"

"Mommy, when Daddy is awake I get to watch Ni Hao Kai Lan. When you are awake I have to watch a different show because you don't like me to watch Ni Hao Kai Lan so I watch a different show with you." (After which I told Daddy that Mommy doesn't like the show because sometimes Ni Hao Kai Lan is naughty.)

This morning Kevin had shaved and dumped the shavings in the toilet. Rusty got up and came in to go potty. He looked down and started peeing and said "Hey! I'm hitting Daddy's hairs! I am peeing them down the toilet!"

Awhile back I was trying to get him to poo on the potty. He had been sitting there for quite some time. Finally I said, "Hey Rusty, do you think your poo is coming soon?" He replied,
"No Mommy, it's resting, it's having a nap in my bum." I said,
"Oh, do you think it will come soon?" He said,
"It will come when it wakes up!"

When my parents were here he crawled up in my dad's lap one morning and said, "Grandpa, I SURE do love you!"

I am crazy for this kid. When I go in to check on him before I head to bed, I always find my heart overflowing with joy and love for him. Sometimes I simply want to squeeze the stuffing right out of him!

Our other little gift is amazing as well. Rocky has started to really take in the things around him, and he is growing so much! He turns six months old next week, and I can't believe it! He is sitting up, trying super hard to crawl-and getting around pretty well despite the fact that he can't yet crawl, and giggling up a storm.

Rocky LOVES to laugh. He loves having his brother say, "OOOga Booga!" He loves when we kiss all over his neck, he loves when we blow on his belly. He just loves people! He seems to be really social. He can be fussing away, and we get into a crowd where he can watch people and he is a happy little clam. He loves sitting at the table with us during dinner now. He will sit in the high chair and bang his toys around, or laugh with us, or just take in our conversation. His smile just kills me. My heart just about stops every time I see it.

I love my little gifts. I love hearing them laugh and giggle together. I love hearing Kevin playing with them. I feel so full of love and joy...even the middle of the night wake ups can't change that!

When Grandma and Grandpa Came to Town

2011-07-11T21:38:00.000-07:00

This past week was a great one, with my parents in town for a long overdue visit. The last time they were up here we didn't have Rusty yet...he was a figment of our imagination-and with two miscarriages down, a hope and wistful dream! My parents came up for a long visit the summer of 2007 and although we have seen them a lot between now and then, they weren't able to make it back up here until this past week.

I very eagerly anticipated their arrival! Although I had just seen them in April they hadn't seen Rusty for almost a full year. He has changed so much since then, and I just knew they would have a blast with him. Plus, I got to have them all to myself-well, myself and my family-no sharing! I love the rest of my family, but it was so great to have focused time with my mom and dad. It has been way too long.

They drove straight through-20 hours!-and arrived on Friday midday and the fun began! It's easiest to just break it down into days, so here goes!

Friday
Friday was Canada Day around here. Even though they were tired, they didn't want to just sleep the afternoon away because they would be all out of whack, so they took showers, got ready and we went down to the local Canada Day celebrations. Rusty had fun showing Grandpa and Grandma all that he wanted to see, and we finished off by heading home to BBQ some dinner. It was early to bed that night for all of us, but a fun first evening none the less.

Saturday
On Saturday we were busy, busy, busy! Baby Rocky's baby dedication was going to be the next day at church and we were planning a BBQ for our friends afterward so my mom and I were off to Costco to get supplies while Grandpa spent TWO HOURS at the park with Rusty! Super fun times for them both! Rusty was soooo tired that he took a super long nap that afternoon. We enjoyed just relaxing and playing in the backyard that evening.

Sunday
Sunday was Rocky's special day. We were so thrilled to have my parents here for Rocky's dedication. It was special to share that with them, and we also enjoyed having them meet some of our close friends that came over for the BBQ afterward.

Monday
On Monday we went out to Krause Berry Farms! YUM! Rusty helped Grandma and Grandpa pick two buckets full of delicious strawberries while I held little Rocky-sleeping away-in the Ergo. Afterward he played in the sandbox at the farm and also enjoyed some yummy treats! It was our fourth of July so we also remembered to celebrate that with the boys in their America shirts! That evening my dad went golfing with Kev and some of his buddies, so my mom and I ordered pizza and watched a chick flick! It was so nice to do something so normal like that with her.

Tuesday
Tuesday was more golf for the boys. They headed off around 11 in the morning, so my mom and I packed the boys up and went to Burnaby Village Museum! I had never been there before, and it is free this summer to celebrate their 40th birthday. I didn't know if Rusty would really enjoy it much, but he LOVED it. He was off and running and really loved "peeking" inside the various buildings. He is also often very cautious when doing new things, so I didn't know what his reaction to the carousel would be, but he grinned from ear to ear and even giggle when riding it with my mom. We had two tickets so he got to ride again with me. The boys were home that evening and we just relaxed because we were all so tired from our fun day. My mom played bubbles outside with Rusty and we all just chilled. Seeing a theme here? Fun in the morning, relaxing in the evening?

Wednesday
We decided that Wednesday was the day to finally take Rusty mini golfing. He had been wanting to go, and Grandpa was happy to oblige. We took him to a nearby course and he did great. He had fun whacking the ball all over the place, but got a little tired by the 16th hole. He was lying down on the green not in an obnoxious way, but in an "I am SOOOOO tired" way! He finished out the round and really loved the end when the ball went down the hole for good. He wanted to hit all of our balls down and we would say "GOODBYE BALL!" with each one that dropped down the hole! That evening was pretty gorgeous, so we set up the sprinkler and he had a blast running in it with Grandpa. We had so much fun that we decided to have a picnic outside as well and loaded up on all of the good for you foods like pizza, mac and cheese and the plethora of fruit we had leftover!

Thursday
Our time together was coming to an end and we had some tired boys on our hands. We took it easy on Thursday and simply took the boys to the nearby Play Zone. Rusty loved the bouncy castles and sports activities.

Friday
Our last day together. We were sad that Grandma and Grandpa would be leaving soon and decided to end it with a bang. We skytrained downtown and took an Aquabus to Granville Island. We enjoyed a wonderful lunch outside, some shopping and Rusty got Grandpa to take him in the Adventure Zone at the Kids' Market. What a FUN and BRAVE Grandpa! He said other kids in there were throwing the balls at him. Pretty funny! Rusty really loved riding the train with his grandparents and even got to "drive" one. He was sitting in the front seat and was sure that it was his train and he was driving. Taking the Aquabus was a new experience even for me, and one that I will definitely repeat! It was wonderful to sit and take in the gorgeous sights around False Creek.

Overall, we had such a great time with Grandma and Grandpa. The boys really solidified relationships with them. My favorite shot of the week:

Seven Years

2011-07-03T22:03:00.000-07:00

Seven years ago today I married the most incredible man. At least, I thought he was the most incredible man at that point. No one told me I would find myself loving him more as time passed and finding that he was truly more amazing than I knew even on that day.

We have been through much. I wish I had more time to write about them here. The loss of three precious babies, the births of our two amazing boys. The crashing of my car, the winning of Kev's hockey pool car! Buying the house we never knew that we always wanted, losing my grandfather two Christmases past. There is so much...so many memories, so much love.

I adore the man. He's such a blessing in my life. He makes me laugh, still. He shows me unconditional love, still. He simply is...incredible! Today we were talking and laughing in the afternoon. It had been a busy morning and lunch-our precious Rocky was dedicated at church today. We asked God to bless Him and to help us be wise in raising him. Then we had a big BBQ to celebrate. When everyone was gone we were all tired and enjoyed just lying around a bit. It was nice to simply snuggle up to my hubby and talk, and to remember how much we love each other! We talked about how people say that getting to seven years can be tough. Kevin remarked that he felt it has been easy. The years have flown by. I think it is because we have a relationship of give, give, give and a relationship that is rooted firmly in the Lord.

I love this man. He's the true love of my life. I am so thankful that God sent me halfway around the world to find him ten years ago! Happy Annivesary, my Love!

A Great Dose of Ordinary

2011-06-30T15:17:00.002-07:00

Today is just an ordinary day...but it's a great one! Maybe it seems great because I thought it would be rough. Little Rocky had a tough night. I can see the tip of another tooth peeking through. With that going on I got about three hours of sleep pieced together. As the sun rose I was thinking, "This could be a tough one." Then, Kev took over.

He got up with both boys and kept them occupied for an hour so I could get some uninterrupted sleep. Something about sleeping in a big, comfy bed with no noises and possibilities of having to get up is all kinds of wonderful. Great day event #1.

Then, I helped Rusty get ready for his last day of daycare. He has been in it still this past month for two days a week. Today is his last day until fall. He helped me make cupcakes for all of his friends last night and he was so excited to take the cupcakes to school today. I loved seeing how excited he was and it was the first time he has taken cupcakes to school!! Great day event #2.

After Kev and Rusty left, Rocky and I were both able to get naps...almost two hours! It gave me the burst of energy I needed to get through the day! Great day event #3.

Once we woke up, I decided to make myself look good, rather than wearing the yoga pants and hoodie I had planned. It paid off! My hubby had to run home from work for a bit and told me how good he thought I looked...it's nice to be recognized! I had a new jacket I was trying out and he liked it! (Right now it's on my bed because I was protecting it from a Rocky poo blowout after lunch! But I love it!) Great day event #4!

We hit the road then and ran some errands. I had to drop some shoes off at Value Village-our version of Salvation Army for my American friends!-and I decided to do some browsing in the store and totally scored! I found this gorgeous glass punch/tea jar for just $12.

I have been looking for one for awhile and they were always $30 or more. This one is beautiful and I'm so excited about it! It has a classic chrome spigot and I can already think of all sorts of things I will use it for. They had two of them and I almost bought the other one, but figured it would be rare that I would need two of them. First use will be this Sunday at Rocky's baby dedication BBQ! MMMmmmm...sun tea coming up! Great day event #5!!

My last stop before home was Starbucks. I needed to pick up some gift cards for Rusty's daycare teachers. After ordering them the barista asked if I wanted a drink. Well, sure, why not!? They gave me a free Frappucino. I asked him to make me one that sounded good, saying I like coconut. He made up a coconut vanilla bean frappucino with two shots of espresso! YUM! My new favorite drink!!! I will be ordering that again and the best part...it was free!

Now I'm home with my littlest man and he is sleeping in my arms. He wasn't napping well in his crib, and it is so rare that I get a chance to just hold him. I'm catching up on the Bachelorette, typing away, and enjoying hearing his sweet little breaths whoosh in and out of his body...bliss. Great day event #6!

Lastly? My parents are in the car ON THEIR WAY TO CANADA! They will arrive sometime around noon tomorrow. They are driving straight through, please pray for their safety. I cannot wait to spend the next week with them. No distractions, just some amazing quality time with them. The last time we did that was the summer before Rusty was born, so almost FOUR years ago! Great day event #7!!!

What a great dose of an ordinary day. Sometimes all it takes to make an ordinary day wonderful is looking for the beauty in your day!

Favorites

2011-06-29T14:44:00.000-07:00

My cousins just came up for a visit, as I mentioned here. My cousin Nessa recently posted some of her pictures from the trip on Facebook. Here are some of my favorites...for the short amount of time they were here, we had a lot of fun!

We took the kids bowling...Caden wasn't allowed to bowl, because he was too young, but he was a good cheerleader!

Goooo Mommy!!

Canada Boys

American Pals

I think she is wondering, "What happened to his hair???"

Little Scruchy Face!!!

Bleep!

2011-06-28T14:38:00.000-07:00

So, Rusty had his first ******BLEEP****** moment today. I was getting ready to take the boys to IKEA, just for something to get us out of the house. I was buckling him into his car seat and he looked up at me, grinned, and said, "HEY F***A! You're a F**** McF***ERSON!" Scrreeeecccchhhh to a dead halt everyone. It was one of those moments...I totally stopped everything I was doing and simply stared at him. I mean, you could have heard a pin drop in that car. We have this game where we turn everything into a McWhateverSon. Like, Silly McSillerson or Sneezy McSneezerson. He had just done it with that word. Yikes.

I said, "Rusty, WHAT did you just say?" He happily repeated it. I then said, "WHERE did you learn that word?"

He responded, "From Jitae!" Jitae is his little friend at school. He is Chinese. I do not know Chinese, but I am VERY much hoping that the word which my little guy said means something different in their language than in ours. Does it? Anyone know???

Anyway, I looked at Rusty and I said, "Rusty, that is a naughty word, we don' t say that word. The next time Jitae asks you to say it, you say, 'No thank you, my mommy said it is a naughty word.'"

Rusty replied, "OK Mommy! I won't say **** anymore! **** is a naughty word!" Oy. Later, on our way home from IKEA he said, "Oh Mommy, **** is a naughty word, right? I don't say it?"

"YES Rusty! It is NAUGHTY! Stop saying it!" Yikes...so it begins! At least he's cute!!

Stream of Consciousness

2011-06-26T22:14:00.000-07:00

In university I learned, as an English major, about stream of consciousness writing. I guess this is sort of what I'm going to do. It's just the mindless drivel floating through my brain. Not what you normally get from me, but I'm ready to empty out my brain before heading to bed for the night.

I have a great husband. I just took a quick little break to do the dishes. We had his parents over for dinner for his dad's birthday tonight and the dishes were piled up in the kitchen. Everything in me wanted to simply shut off the light and head to bed, but I knew I would regret it in the morning, so I got to work. He was sitting on the couch watching Sportsnet or something like that and for a few moments I wondered if he would come in and help. From my past experiences with him, I thought he would, and he didn't disappoint. I barely had the silverware tray unloaded before he was in the kitchen helping me out. It's the norm for him...and I love that man for it. I love him for oodles of other things as well, but I'll just mention that one for now. Oh, and his super cute freckles on his nose. I really love those too.
I enjoy angel food cake. A lot. I had forgotten how much until tonight. When we asked what he requested as his cake my father in law said angel food cake. I dug the pan I had received at a wedding show out of a bin in our basement and made a cake and remembered...the stuff is amazing! A bit of sugary heaven and I even try to convince myself that it is better for me than regular cake-even though I'm sure it isn't. Even the batter was amazing! I licked the beaters myself, just like a little kid. Yum. Good thing more than half of the cake was eaten up tonight or I could be in trouble!
I need to drink more water. I know this. I even try to challenge myself to it but simply can't seem to remember until I hit about 10 p.m. and am so thirsty that I just about can't stand it. Why do I do this to myself repeatedly? Then I guzzle a bunch of water and have to get up and pee in the night, taking up valuable sleep time. Ugh. Note to self, drink more water throughout the day tomorrow. On that note, I have to go and get another glass of water.
We recently bought a new bed, a king sized, pocket coil masterpiece. It is A.MAZ.ING! I love, love, love it! Even though Rocky has been teething lately and I have been up with him in the night the sleep that I have gotten has been amazing. I can't feel Kevin move and shift around at all. I have so much space to stretch out. I have zero back/hip pain. It is just incredible. I suggest to anyone, INVEST IN A GOOD BED!

And now my husband just shut off the TV, signaling time for bed. Ah, time to go and dive into that comfy, cozy, amazing dream bed. More later! Good night!

A Machine

2011-06-22T22:30:00.002-07:00

My cousin Matt is a machine! Seriously.

We have had a bunch of work we needed done. Most of it was electrical work, which Kevin didn't know how to do, and we didn't really want to learn from a you tube video. There was a large section of it up at our cottage. We had been quoted a price of $650 for the work just at our cottage. I was talking to my cousin about it when I was home, and he mentioned that he could do it all. He had learned how to do it all when working on the farm and the mine he works at, as well as when helping with his church.

Kev and I started talking about it, and figuring things out. We realized we could fly Matt up to do the work for cheaper than we could hire just the work for our cottage alone. We then decided to fly his wife, my best friend Nessa, up as well. They paid for their kids and we had our amazing family here since last Friday night!

Matt, well, let me tell you about this guy. I just have to give you the list of everything he accomplished in the last five days!

At our cottage:

Installed a light in the boys' bedroom-including the switch and all wiring.
Installed a light in our bedroom-including a switch and all wiring.
Installed a new fixture in the kitchen.
Installed an outlet for our dryer.
Got the dryer and washer working and connected to breaker box.
Installed an outlet in the bathroom.
Installed another outlet in the kitchen.
Installed a fixture in the laundry room.
Installed and fixed a bunch of switches.
Installed and connected the heat lamp and ceiling fan in the bathroom.
Rewired some work that was wired improperly from years past.
Reinstalled the outlets in the living/family room. (Actually, Kevin did this! Matt taught him how and he was excited to learn this new skill. I am sooooo proud of my man!)

Kevin helped Matt with all of the work at Keats and did an amazing job! He learned some new skills and really appreciated how Matt was willing to teach him the new things. He feels confident in doing a lot of different things now!

At our house:

Installed wiring for outlet for our TV down in the family room. (Will help us install it when he comes in August...Kev wants to research a few things first!)
Replaced two old outlets in the family room.
Replaced the light switch in the family room.
Installed new light fixture in downstairs landing.
Replaced all light switches in the unfinished part of the basement. (3 of them-including 3 way switches)
Installed a new light fixture in guest bedroom.
Replaced two old outlets in guest bedroom.
Replaced light switch in guest bedroom.
Replaced light switches in stairwells.
Replaced four old outlets in the kitchen with GFCI proper outlets.
Checked out this weird old "razor only" outlet in our bathroom that never worked-he then replaced it with TWO outlets! GFCI certified! We went from NO working outlets in the main bathroom two having FOUR places to plug things in! HEAVEN!!!!!!!!
Replaced our old chandelier light fixture in the dining room with a beautiful, eco-friendly and energy efficient simple chandelier.
Replaced one old outlet in our bedroom that hadn't been done.
Replaced old outlet in our ensuite bathroom that hadn't been a GFCI certified one.
Replaced the old switch in our ensuite bathroom.
Replaced our two outside outlets with proper outlets, including covers.
Attached plywood cover onto sandbox.
Started building a custom shoe bench for me...we put it on hold until August so I have time to paint it.

Vanessa helped out too! She even helped me get our guest bedroom set up with our old bed and rearrange our bedroom with our new bed and bedding!

Can you believe it? Do you SEE why I say the man is a machine? He worked so hard, and we are so incredibly appreciative. We really feel like so many of the unfinished things that were lingering around our house are done now, and we are so thankful. We also feel like it is safer with those old outlets replaced! Some of them were SOOO loose and sketchy!

Kevin learned a lot of wonderful skills and realized what I have been saying all along, that Matt is amazing and a great guy! He got a wonderful chance to connect with Matt more, and felt that they were able to really have some great chats. He realized why I have always said that Matt is more of a brother to me than a cousin.

Nessa, the kids, and I had a great time too, and we even got Matt to break long enough to go to the park with us. Unfortunately, Kevin had to work the last few days, so he didn't get to be working with Matt on those days, but still really loved everything that he was able to do at our cottage.

Thank you, thank you, thank you Matt, Nessa and Kids! We had an AMAZING time and we are so, so, so thankful! We love you so much and can't wait to see you in August!

One other side note: In the picture above Matt is holding his daughter and our little Rocky. These two are just about 2 1/2 months apart in age. Matt and I grew up being only six months apart in age. I was the older, just as his daughter is. We are so excited to have children this close in age, and that it is sort of the same dynamic we had. We hope that they will be great friends! Matt and I always were, and we we still are. We spend a lot of time with these guys, and we already see them having fun together. It will only get better from here!

Mixed Emotions

2011-06-15T21:10:00.000-07:00

Well, the Canucks lost. It is a major bummer. We REALLY thought they were going to win it. It is kind of a sad feeling...my husband is especially bummed out. However...I am having a hard time containing my excitement because, wait for it, HE WON A CAR!!!!!

He entered the CBC Nationwide Hockey Pool way back at the beginning of the playoffs. He has had a crazy ride and tonight he won it all, a brand new car! It's a little surreal. He still hasn't really become excited about it yet, but I think he will be once it actually sets in and he gets over some of his disappointment over his boys losing.

The car is a 2011 Kia Optima. We know nothing about the car, and we aren't even sure what we will do with it yet. Will we keep it? Sell it? We aren't sure, but I DO know that it is crazy! My husband actually won a brand new car!!

We have mixed emotions but I have to be honest, I am mostly just REALLY excited!!!

Parenthood

2011-06-13T13:25:00.000-07:00

Being a parent is tough work. It's all kinds of rewarding as well, but that is what you usually see me write about on here. The flip side? It can also be hard...really hard. I come from the camp that finds it difficult to ever say that anything about being a parent is hard...not because I'm trying to portray a picture of perfection, but rather because it was a long, difficult, and emotional road to becoming a parent at all. I went through heartbreak to get these sweet baby boys, as do many other people that I know. Somehow going through all of that makes me most of the time look at each moment-even the hard ones-as blessings, regardless of whatever I may be going through. I think, however, it is sometimes good to admit that it can be hard. If for no other reason than the "Amen sister" moments you can have with other moms that are willing to admit it.

So, here we go...in no particular order, the things that I find to be sometimes difficult along the journey of parenthood.

SLEEP: You are warned about this. You get endless people saying, "Enjoy your sleep now, because once that baby comes it is all over!" I hated hearing that when I was pregnant, and I remember how much I hated it and try not to ever say it to my pregnant friends now, but man...they were right. You just really can't comprehend that sleep deprivation that comes along with being a parent. I have often stated that I truly believe that God gives parents, and especially mothers, a special measure of supernatural energy that first month or so when sleep can be so erratic and crazy. I mean, think about it. Some governments use sleep deprivation as a torture tactic. They put people in rooms that never get dark and play noises to keep them awake and such. Kind of like having a baby those first few months-you just lie down in your bed after rocking your baby and singing to him and shushing him for three hours. You think he is asleep. You gently lie him in his crib being ever so careful not to wake him. You creep back to your own bedroom on your tip toes and ease down into bed, being oh so careful not to make a single noise on the off chance that perhaps your baby can hear you from his bedroom which is across the hall with the door closed. Just as your head hits the pillow and you squish the duvet comfortably around your body, drifting blissfully into sleep, you hear it..."WAHHHHHH!" There you go, it begins all over again. The first month or so I DVRed every show that could possibly be interesting just on the off chance that I might be up for hours on end during the night with the baby. Rocky actually did pretty well, I remember being up for hours on end with Rusty, counting down the hours until 6 a.m. when the day would begin again and I wouldn't feel so alone in the night. Kev has always been helpful, but my theory is that I am on maternity leave and he is working, plus, I have the food supply, so I am the one to get up with the baby most often. He is on Rusty duty these days-although Rusty rarely wakes during the night anymore. When he does it always seems to be at the same time as Rocky, making it impossible for me to get to both of them! On the other hand, our dear adorable Rusty is an early riser. Why? I do not know. Neither Kevin nor I could have been considered early risers before we had children. In fact, I remember many a Saturday morning that we both slept well past 10 or sometimes even 11. Slothful? Yes. Dreamy? Absolutely. I guess we can say that we do get a lot done now...waking up at 7 or 7:30 will do that for you! I always remind myself that some day my boys will be teenagers that I will likely be dragging out of bed. I recall my mom getting us kids up at 8 on Saturday mornings and now I think, "Sorry Mom, but were you crazy???" I can't wait for those days. I'm going to be so excited to drag them from their stinky, sweaty teenage boy bedrooms to go to their soccer games-or whatever they are involved in. Yep, sleep...that's one of the hard parts. As someone that loves her sleep, let me just say that I am oooohhhh so thankful for whoever discovered the coffee bean and the fact that you could make this delicious, amazing drink from it that has the ability to give you a boost and get you going in the morning.

The second thing is what I like to call the "to dos or not to dos." Oh there are SOOOO many theories on parenting out there. Do you let them cry it out, or do you rock them? Do you do timeouts or are timeouts without purpose? What is the right time to introduce solids? How soon should you wean your baby? Is it good for them to be involved in extracurricular activities at a young age or is that just too much and we should simply let them play? How often do we push him to just eat that one more bite or just allow him to decide when he is full as to avoid becoming an overeater simply to "clean up that plate?" The questions are endless. I am a softie. I HATE hearing my kids cry.

Crying it out...that was a big one for us. I have many friends that are firm believers in Babywise and Dr. Ferber and all of those things. I had a hard time with them. I want to cuddle my baby, I want to rock him to sleep. Oh yes, I hear all of you saying that doing so will make me a mom that is rocking my seven year old to sleep but hey, I don't believe it. Rusty is now almost 3 and goes in, lies down in bed, we pray with him and he goes to sleep. I have no idea how much of that comes from how we trained him and how much of it is just who he is. Sometimes he still wants me to lie down with him for a little bit...usually the length of me singing him three songs (his current favorites are "The Lion Sleeps Tonight," "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star," and "Yellow Submarine" by the way) and then he drifts off to sleep. Some nights he fusses a bit. He needs a drink or his Cookie Monster or this or that. We try not to give in too often, but we also try to be attuned to what he actually needs. The other night he simply would not settle, and we finally realized that he simply really wanted to read his big brother book. He had gotten it out to read with us before bed-we always read him three books-and we hadn't realized it and had read him three other books. Once we finally read that book to him he was out like a light in minutes. Hmmm. When Rusty was a baby, he was a bit finicky. He did not handle crying it out well. I tried it the first time when he was two months old because that's what people were telling me to do. After three nights of him crying for over an hour despite us following all of the rules and going in to soothe him but not picking him up and yada yada yada we gave up. I could not handle it and Kev wasn't handling it so well either. We put it on the back burner for a few months. When Rusty was around 6 months old he got to the point where he wouldn't fall asleep being rocked anymore. It didn't matter what we did. We decided to try crying again and this time...totally different story. He actually cried for about five minutes or less for about a week and then bam, he was just falling asleep when we put him in his crib.

Rocky is different. From the start he has been a kid that loves his sleep. He did enjoy being swaddled and that worked great until just a few weeks ago. He started breaking out of the swaddle and waking up. Plus, he no longer wanted to be rocked either. During that time when he would previously drift off into blissful sleep he now cranks his head around trying to see what is going on around him. This weekend I was on my own with the boys and knew I couldn't spend 45 minutes in rocking Rocky to sleep when Rusty was out in the living room so that was it...crying a bit became the method. He has so far responded really well. SO far. About five minutes or so of crying and then off to sleep. He has been sleeping better. I don't know that this will last, but for now it is working. When it stops working...I'll try something else. But man, it can be hard! It is hard to listen to your baby cry.

Eating oh joy. The perilous and tricky waters of teaching a toddler to eat well. It is just about persisting. This is the tough part. Sometimes, you just really want your kid to eat! I don't want to send him to bed hungry and have him waking up at 3 in the morning hungry because he didn't eat his veggies...but I must. Here is my dilemma...do I then warm up said veggies or do I give him animal crackers? How does this work? Our Rusty hasn't always been easy with eating! I have recently realized, however, during my May Food is Fuel Challenge, that I don't give him enough credit. We tried a lot of new things, and he tried most of them! We recently started a new tactic with him...he must at least TRY everything on his plate but if he says he doesn't like something he doesn't have to finish it. It is working...right now. He tries everything and usually ends up eating it all...surprising even himself! He will say "I don't LIKE that," but then when he tries it he says, "Yum!" and finishes the food. For a long time the only veggie that he would eat in non pureed form was corn. In the last few months we have added carrots and peas and oh how my heart delighted when he actually asked for SECONDS on carrots the other night. There were many times when I absolutely dreaded making dinner and wondering if he would eat it or not. It has been a long battle, but worth it. There were so many nights I was so incredibly thankful that Kev was in it with me. He continues to be more stubborn that our toddler, and waited out many a battle over one spoonful of this or that. I wonder which food Rusty will suddenly hate next??

Rocky may be different. The kid is already on rice cereal, as prescribed by our doctor. He WOLFS it down. He actually grabs the spoon and tries to shove it in his mouth himself. He becomes angry if you take too long to get the spoon to his mouth. I am so excited and interested in trying more food with him, just to see how he will react. Maybe food won't be such an incredible battle with him?

BALANCE: This one is tough. It's the balance of time with your husband, time to yourself, time with your kids, time at your job. As a mom, we are always feeling guilty and like we are giving someone the shaft. It is soooo easy to let your kids become your entire life, and for the most part I really believe that they should be, but I also think that for me to be a good mother and wife, I need some balance. I have not forgotten that it was Kevin and I for four years before Rusty joined our crew. We both totally agree that our lives are so much better with our kids in them, but we also really like each other, and spending time together. We still enjoy having a dinner out...just us. It is more difficult these days to get that time, especially with Rocky's current obsession with Mommy, but we know that we must persist. It is good for our kids to see that we are committed to each other and spending time together. It is good for our kids to know that Mommy and Daddy love each other and want to hang out. Plus, the time with Nana and Papa isn't bad either, right?

The other part of the balance is just for me. I do need some time to myself sometimes. Maybe it is just to read a book, to go to the bathroom in peace, or to take a long, hot shower. Sometimes just 10 minutes can work wonders, sometimes I might need a few hours. I always find that when I come back from that time on my own I can't wait to smother my little ones with hugs and kisses and see what they have been doing. If I don't get that time? I can lose my patience easier, I can become snippy with my husband, and I find myself feeling frantic. This time alone isn't something that I even get every week, nor do I need it. Some moms say they never need, and good for them...but for me to be a good mom...I need it. I need to have some time to think about something other than my kiddos. I need to escape in a good book with a delicious cup of coffee beside me. The thing I didn't know was how very difficult it could be to have this time happen. My husband and my in laws are incredible and supportive of me in this. Even with Rocky lately wanting no one but Mommy they are determined to make it work. Two Sundays ago I actually went out for 2 1/2 hours. I stopped by a friend's art show and then went to Starbucks and worked. The time felt like forever and I came back with so much energy! I couldn't wait to hug my little men! This past Thursday I took Rocky along with me and went to a friend's house for a hair cut and color. Rocky was a champ and slept there for three hours allowing me that wonderful cut, color, head massage and styling. I came home and Kevin even remarked on how much energy and joy I seemed to have. It had everything to do with just a few moments for me!

Being a parent is tough, it certainly is. I think we are lying if we say that it is always easy and wonderful and the birds sing and the clouds part and the sun shines down on us. But I also know that I can find that sunshine in the most incredible places and suddenly it doesn't seem so hard after all. Like right here, in these faces. Pure golden sunshine they are! I dare you to disagree!

Missing Him

2011-06-12T12:11:00.000-07:00

Kev is away for his annual guys' golfing weekend. He left yesterday morning at 7:30 and will return late sometime tonight. They are off to the Seattle area for several rounds of golf, an MLS game last night, and just a lot of laughter and good times. He has been enjoying this weekend in one form or another for YEARS...since before I ever knew him. The guys have all evolved and all are married now, many have children, but they continue to carry on this tradition of guys' weekend. I love that he has those guys and they can do this. He is such a great husband and father, and I really appreciate that he can go off with these guys and just do some things that he loves, laugh a lot, and get a bit of a break. However...I miss him.

I really am missing him this weekend. The house feels just a bit emptier. Weekends we always spend so much time together as a family. We often do something fun like a park or outing with the boys on Saturday mornings, we do yard work together in the afternoons, we head to church on Sunday mornings, we eat our special lunch as a family at Taco Del Mar on Sundays...we are just so together. I feel like I am missing half of myself this weekend.

The boys have been amazing, so it's not that, really...it's just that Kev's voice isn't around. I don't have him chasing Rusty and hearing the two of them giggle. I don't have the random conversations that we have popping up and his awesome hugs keeping me going all day. I didn't have our prayer time together last night before I went to bed, and found it a bit difficult to fall asleep, even as tired as I was. I didn't have him watching tennis this morning as we all got ready for church. I just miss him!

I am ready for him to be home, and yet again I have a new appreciation for wives that have to be without their husbands for long periods of time either for military, work, or other purposes. Kev is such an integral part of our every day lives and I just love him so much. A few weeks ago our pastor was giving a sermon on marriage relationships and how important it is to not just love one another, but to genuinely LIKE one another. I was so thankful to realize that I really do like my husband. I love spending time with him...most of the time if I could I would choose to do something with him rather than someone else! I can't wait for him to get home tonight! Miss you honey!

Brothers

2011-06-11T21:18:00.000-07:00

I always knew I wanted to have at least two children. I didn't really care the gender, I just wanted healthy babies. After I had Rusty, I was so thrilled that I had a boy. I grew up with lots of guy cousins around me and went to all of their games, rough and tumbled with them, and just enjoyed hanging out with them. In retrospect, I think if I had never had a boy I might have been a little sad. Maybe not. Maybe I would be saying the same thing about girls if I had two girls instead of two boys. Regardless, that is exactly what I have...two wonderful boys!

I knew I would love seeing my children interact with one another. I also know it's not always going to be adorable interaction, but for now...it is bliss! They love each other so much!

From the moment Rusty first met Rocky he has loved him. He is such an incredible big brother. He sings to him, plays with him, kisses him, and is always looking out for him. Whenever Rocky is in the swing and gets tired of it Rusty will be the first to let me know that Rocky is crying-as if I can't hear it! ha! He also is his protector in the car. I hear things like, "Mommy! Rocky spit up on himself!" or "Mommy, Rocky is sleeping! He is faassssttt asleep!" I love it! Today I was trying to just get the last of dinner cleaned up and had placed Rocky in his crib for safe keeping. He had started to fuss and the next thing I know I heard Rusty singing. I went into the bedroom and he had climbed up on the side of the crib and was holding Rocky's hand, looking down into his face and singing songs to him. Rocky's response was a huge grin.

We have now also started to realize that Rocky seems to love Rusty the most! When no one else can, Rusty can make Rocky laugh or smile. He has this thing where he stands in front of Rocky's jumperoo and jumps with him when he is in it and Rocky will break into gales of laughter. It is so adorable! He also is constantly lying on the floor with Rocky and kissing his cheeks or coming up to him to blow raspberries on his legs. Rocky loves that! It is a guaranteed laugh every single time!

One day I was dropping Rusty off at school. Whenever I do and bring Rocky in the kids LOVE it. They come running to see the baby. This is where Rusty is super adorable. He loves to protect his brother and will hunch down next to him...almost running interference of sorts. That protection factor comes in yet again.

I just adore my sweet boys. I feel so incredibly blessed and thankful to have them and that they have one another. I pray so often that they will become good friends and will always be there for one another...no matter what. I hope that they always will have the love for one another that they have now.

Rocky, why do you elude sleep so?

2011-06-03T21:43:00.000-07:00

Well, he's done it. Our great, sleep through the night and often take great naps little boy has hit the "four month sleep regression" stage that many babies hit...and I am tired. He has lately decided that sleeping through the night is for the birds...I knew it was too good to last! He is up, often. The first stretch is good, about five hours, but it usually starts at 7 p.m. I don't go to bed then, there is still too much left to do! After that he wakes about every hour and a half to two hours until 7 in the morning, when he is up for good. His naps are still pretty decent, although his morning nap has shortened up a bit.

I'm not quite sure where we go from here. I don't remember this with Rusty, but maybe it is because he wasn't really a great sleeper from the start and I didn't notice the difference, or perhaps I am just more tired this time around because there are two kids, we are busier as a family, and so forth. It's not terrible. I also have an amazing husband that gets up with both boys in the morning and keeps them relatively quiet in the front room so I can get one hour of uninterrupted sleep before he heads off to work each day. Between that and coffee I'm usually good to go for the day. I'm just hoping to get Rocky back to the place where he is again sleeping more. He loves to sleep...when he does have more solid sleep he is such a happier boy, although I can't really complain...he's pretty happy anyway.

I wonder what I will be saying in a few months. The other day I was telling Kev that in a few months we would probably barely remember this stage. One thing that I do love??? I am soooo less stressed about this than I would have been with Rusty. I'm not wondering if I am a terrible mother or if I am doing something wrong. I had one night the other night that I was feeling a bit down on myself, but between Kevin and my wonderful Nessa I was soon being reminded of what a great mother I am and how wonderful our boys are and that they both believe that much of it is because of how I am with the boys. Thanks guys!

On the whole, I definitely do look forward to more sleep some day...but if you asked me if I would trade more sleep and fast forward Rocky to being about 8 or 9 months old when that will probably be consistent I would say "Absolutely not, no way, I'm not trading in a single day. Not.A.Single.One." I don't know if Rocky is my last baby, and I intend to cherish every last moment. Keeping that in mind makes the rocking him to sleep, the precious moments in the middle of the night, the warm snuggles all worth it.

Both of my Boys

2011-05-31T13:17:00.000-07:00

Well, tomorrow starts a new chapter. Up until now we have had Rusty still in full time daycare. We knew we wanted to have some time for me to adjust to having Rocky at home and for Rusty to adjust to it as well. Looking back, it was definitely the right decision for us. I know there are people that would disagree, but I'm not heading into this "mom of two boys" thing feeling exhausted and overwhelmed...well, maybe a little tired but hey, that's life with a baby, right? I feel like I have a handle on Rocky and his schedule, Rocky and Rusty have established a good relationship, and I feel like I can make a plan for the days. I know that not everyone gets this opportunity, nor would they want it, but for us, it was the right choice.

Rusty loves his school. When I drop him off he gives me a super quick kiss-most days-and runs off saying, "I'm ready to see my friends!" He does fun activities there every day. Art, going to the park, circle time, and many other events, every day. I will be lucky to fit in one of those things each day, I think. It will be an adjustment for him and for me, I know, but I am really looking forward to it!

Rusty has grown up so much lately. He is helpful and sweet. The other day we were doing a bunch of yard work and he woke up from his nap and wanted to help. He pulled on my gardening gloves and helped Kev pick up all of the piles of clippings and such...and was actually helping. When did he get so big? He is a great help with Rocky too. He will run and grab that diaper I need, or try to make Rocky laugh when he is crying, or any other number of things. He is also so funny. On Sunday we got home from church and just sat out on the lawn on a blanket and listened to him talk...we could have stayed out there all day.

So, I'm excited to have this Rusty home with me on a more regular basis! I'm not naive enough to believe that it will be all sunshine and there won't be days where I feel totally exhausted and overwhelmed. Mostly I am worried about being the kind of mom for Rusty that I need to be while still keeping Rocky happy. I want to give 110% to both of them all of the time, but sometimes one will have to wait while I help the other. Just this morning I was getting Rusty ready to take him to school and he had a meltdown. We had to do the whole time out and explanation and everything. In the background, poor Rocky was just crying. I already had him strapped into his car seat, it was naptime for him, and he was not happy. I had to deal with Rusty though...it was very important that I followed through on what we were talking about. Rocky was fine, Rusty was fine, and we made it out the door, eventually.

I can do this, and I am excited to do it. It's going to be a challenge, but hey, so many moms do it right from the start. I have some fun events planned for us, I'm stocking up on and looking for ideas of fun things that a 2 1/2 year old boy might like to do at home-any ideas??? Leave em in the comment section! I just got him a big pack of Mega Blocks with my pampers points and we plan to spend A LOT of time outside in the awesome backyard and at the park. I also hope to head to the dollar store to stock up on art supplies, etc. My hope is to plan at least ONE fun thing each morning so it doesn't just turn into "Hey buddy, yes you CAN watch Dora."

If you want to meet up for a playdate, again, leave a message! I already have planned a trip to a local village museum with a friend as well as heading down to Stanley Park with his uncle when he is visiting from England. We will have my cousins coming and creating all kinds of fun the last bit of June and my parents are here the first week of July...we will still be looking for adventures though!

I can do it! I can't wait!

My Boys

2011-05-26T13:52:00.000-07:00

I have been so busy lately, and trying to catch up on other things. I just haven't had time to write on here, and suddenly realized that I needed to! This is where I capture my thoughts on my guys, and weeks were going by with me writing nothing! Where will I look back and see what was happening in our lives if I'm not on here! I'd better get cracking. So...catching up on my boys.

Kevin: My hubby is amazing. With every day that passes I am reminded yet again of what a great father and husband he is. He is supportive to me. He challenges me. He understands things that are important for our family and works to make them happen. He even gets my "101 Things" list and is working to make that happen too!

Kev is doing great. He is such a great teacher, and has continued to work at the Alternative Behavior School here in this district. He is a wonderful teacher in that situation. He really genuinely cares for those students and has worked really hard to give them many opportunities to succeed. He has created several new elective courses that the students are excited about and has been a major part of the graduation rate in the high school rising. Recently his boss even let him know that he would be adding some more responsibilities to Kev's plate for next year because he has seen his skills in the areas of organization and student communication. I am so proud of him. He is just doing a wonderful job and really challenging himself as a teacher and individual.

In another note, it has been playoff hockey around here and OUR CANUCKS HAVE MADE THE STANLEY CUP FINALS!!! This is the first year that I have really been into the finals and actually watched the games with interest...even the games that weren't the Canucks! I'm finding that I understand it more and of course my man is crazy thrilled that his team is in the finals with a really great shot at winning it all. Our whole family has been all about hockey lately, and little Rusty is starting to know the game inside and out. He loves it almost as much as his dad and I love seeing them bond in that area. I predict that there will always be a lot of hockey on in this household...and I really don't mind! Go Canucks, Go!

Rusty: Rusty is amazing. I can't say enough about this kid. We have hit a stage right now where he isn't pushing us too much-we are VERY aware that another one will be coming soon thank you very much-and we are just enjoying it. He is pleasant, funny, and just so sweet. We get tons of hugs and kisses and he is starting to make little jokes. He has turned into a TOTAL chatterbox as well. If you are looking at him, he is talking to you! One of my favorite things that he does right now is say "Of course!" He says it in his own cute, Rusty way though, by saying, "Ah COURSE!" For instance, I will say, "Rusty, do you want to brush your teeth?" His reply is "Ah COURSE Mommy! Ah COURSE I want to!" and so forth. It is so adorable. He also just loves to talk about anything and everything and one of my favorite things to do is just sit and listen to him talk about his day. The kid also is really into dancing lately and has some crazy moves! The other day I put on "Love Shack" and we boogied down like you wouldn't believe. He was break dancing!

He is growing up so fast. He's big, already into 4T clothes and just so tall. I look at him sometimes and wonder where my baby went. He is a fun, caring, and wonderful little boy. He is learning about Jesus and lately his prayers have been sweet and when he listens and obeys us he says that Jesus is happy! It's wonderful!

Rocky: This little one is GROWING, GROWING, GROWING! He is getting huge! The kid is about 20 pounds. He has grown a lot in the last month and well, our great sleeper isn't so great right now. He wakes about every two hours to feed, but it makes sense seeing how quickly he is growing. He is still so sweet and loves to smile at everyone he meets. He is a snuggly, huggable little guy. He has found his feet and loves to lie there on the floor playing with them. He can roll over with no problem and one of his favorite things to do is jump and jump and jump in his jumperoo. He also has started giggling just this week and I LOVE it. He is eating a lot. I have his four month appointment on Tuesday and can't wait to see how much he has grown.

He has become very social as well. He loves to just sit and have you talk to him, and he will coo and laugh back at you and I just love it. Another thing he loves is to watch us eat...the other night I was making pancakes for dinner and the poor kid sat there in his carrier and smacked his little lips the entire time. He wants to eat sooo badly!

Rusty and Rocky interact so well, and I love seeing them play together. Rusty gives his little brother a lot of love and helps him even when we don't ask him to. The other day Rocky started crying in his swing and Rusty was the first one over there to play with him or give him a little smile or just to try to make him laugh. I pray all of the time that they will be great friends as they grow up!

I love my boys...I feel so happy being the one that gets to be around them every day!

A Few Things I've Noticed

2011-05-15T15:28:00.000-07:00

Long, hot showers are a mother's best friend...and our form of "quiet and alone time."

My youngest son has a really strong grip, one that particularly loves to grip my earrings and hair...almost constantly. Lucky for him his grin makes up for it!

Dust bunnies collect endlessly. They seem to be like real bunnies...you know the saying, procreating like rabbits...well my dust bunnies have been having a "good time!"

Dandelions have super, duper strong roots. I tried digging up about 50 of them in our front yard yesterday...I think it may have been wasted time.

My new phone totally rocks...but may also have the potential to waste a lot of my time. It takes better pictures than my first digital camera. I can't believe how far technology has come in the last seven years or so!

It is hard to motivate yourself to finish home renovations when the home is "working" as is.

Laundry also seems to procreate like bunnies...it seems I can never stay ahead, and that is WITH a husband that does all of his own! (Plus he often does towels too...what is my problem??)

It is inevitable that the minute you finally decide to lie down, that maybe you actually WILL nap while the baby naps, said baby or child will certainly wake up just as you drift off to sleep. But then you will shower them with hugs and they will kiss you all over your face, so it might be ok after all.

Some days it is really nice to just stay home and do nothing...all.day.long.

Nanas and Papas (or Grandpas and Grandmas...whatever you call them) are wonderful, wonderful people in the life of a child.

A little boy snuggle really does make the world a better place.

Little boy noses seem to produce endless amounts of snot and boogers. We have never gone through so much Kleenex!

Dishes?? Yet another one of those things that procreate like bunnies...man, bunnies are hard at work around here.

Food tastes better when it is fresh.

Yoga pants are the most comfortable thing to wear...ever.

Babies smell really, really good. Somehow they even manage this when covered in spit up...just smell the top of their heads, I'm not kidding. Perfection.

When you have two little boys, the urge to put them in coordinating outfits is pretty irresistible. I'm not sure why this is. It's just so darn cute.

Mother's Day

2011-05-08T14:55:00.000-07:00

It's Mother's Day. This is a day that I never take for granted, I look at my precious babes and just thank the Lord that I get the wonderful opportunity to be their mother. Mother's Day hasn't always been an easy day for me. One in particular brought more heartache than joy. Less than a month earlier I had lost my first baby, and my heart simply broke on that day that came along.

Last Mother's Day I was in South Dakota for my little brother's graduation from university! I was able to be with my own mom for the first time in years on that day. We took her out for breakfast, and it was kind of wonderful to be able to wish her a Happy Mother's Day in person. Meanwhile, that day I was feeling incredibly sick, and wondering if I was possibly pregnant. I arrived home and took a test, and I was...with this little ball of joy. Isn't he wonderful?

My two boys are such a wonderful blessing in my life. Every single night I go in and check on them before I head to bed myself. I look at them and smile and my heart fills up with incredible joy and thankfulness. I absolutely love those sweet boys.

My boys surprised me today with my very own Canucks' jersey! As the boys in blue move further into the playoffs I hope I will have more and more chances to wear it...maybe even at a game??? Who knows! I LOVE it...it's the perfect gift!

Happy Mother's Day...to my mom, my mother-in-law, my sisters, and to all of those I know that wish to be mothers as well. I remember that heartache from Mother's Day past...my prayers are that those wonderful women in my life that are wishing to be mothers will see that dream realized by next Mother's Day!

And he's off!

2011-05-04T14:19:00.000-07:00

Our little guy is just over three months and with the three month mark came...rolling over! He had been trying to roll before I left for South Dakota to visit my family, and kept trying while I was there. He would get oh so close, but always that arm would get in the way!

The last day I was there and in the Omaha Airport ready to fly home he finally did it! He rolled right over. After that, he decided it was a big event and took a little break. Well, little break no more! Yesterday morning he just decided it was time to roll again...and roll he did! Four times yesterday! Today was a different story. We can't even put him down on his playmat really anymore because all he does is roll. Once he rolls he pins his arms, which he hates, so he then starts screaming. It's pretty funny actually. This morning every time we turned him back to his back again, he would roll right over onto his belly. I can't believe he is already old enough for this! *Sniff*

Here he is in action!

Help Mommy! My hands are pinned!

Mr. Adorable

Fresh Herbs in Time for Summer

2011-05-03T15:03:00.000-07:00

Last night after the little one was in bed and Kev was off to a soccer game Rusty and I had some quality time planting seeds for...my future herb garden! It is something I have wanted to do for a long time now, and is actually on my 101 Things List. I had bought some seeds and a starter kit awhile back but just hadn't taken the time to actually plant them. With summer just around the corner and the sun shining off and on lately, I knew it was time to get into gear and get those seeds going!

Rusty plants a lot of seeds with his Papa, so he is an old pro and loves to help. We got our starter kit ready to go by adding lots of water to the discs. I had bought a ready to go kit at Rona one day. This is my first time doing this, so I thought I should make it as painless as possible. In the future perhaps I will go with the potting soil etc. I chose to go with parsley, rosemary, chives, and basil. They are herbs that we use quite a bit in various things, and I cannot wait to be using them FRESH! I had a lot of seeds leftover too, so I can plant more in the future!

Once the discs had expanded with the water, we followed the instructions for adding the seeds. As I said before, Rusty has done this a lot over at Papa's house-Papa is an AMAZING gardener, part of the reason I haven't really been motivated to garden much myself! Why when you can just walk to Papa's house and get what you need??? Papa has taught him to "pinch in the seeds" so Rusty did a great job with this.

We then patted the soil back over the seeds and hunted for the "warm location that is not in direct sunlight" that the package called for. Hmm...I wasn't sure where that would be in our house, but finally figured out that the little space between the fridge and cupboards would probably be a good spot!

Hopefully I am right. We will see if we get some sprouts sometime soon here. I'm a little nervous but hoping it works out! Once they sprout I want to transplant them to some cool containers and put them in the windowsills in my kitchen. My cousin Jayme recently posted a picture she had found of a container garden using old tea tins as the containers. It was so adorable that I am now craving some old tea tins. Anyone have some that I could use???

Tackling the List

2011-05-02T21:20:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been super motivated to work on some of the items on my 101 Things list. As I have said before, my husband recently finally read through my list completely, and perhaps that is why some of the things are being accomplished! He is totally on board with me. I enjoy having these things that I think about and they give me goals to work towards. I always work well when I have goals that I can see.

I have accomplished four of my goals in the last few months. I guess I haven't actually done them all, because some of them were done by other people, but the point is that they are done!

The Four:
#1-Finish painting and installing the baseboard in our entryway.
Hurray! I am so excited that this one is done. During spring break we got the rest of the baseboard we needed for the remaining areas of our home and Kevin painted it all. Then, last week, one of Kev's dad's friends came and installed it all for us! We not only did the entryway, but the family room, the guest bedroom, the downstairs landing and the bathroom as well! It all looks fantastic, although it has made me realize that I need to finish painting the kickboards along the stairs!

#11-Finally finish paying off my one measly, college student loan.
This loan was soooo minimal! We were paying a measly little $50 USD a month for it and finally we just decided to pay off the balance. It felt so good to make that final payment and to know that it is gone! It was the only loan I ever had, which is something I am also proud of. I either worked or received scholarships to pay for the majority of my schooling. I never took out a loan until my final year. I am thankful that God put us in a position where we were able to pay the balance off. It felt really great!

#58-Learn to sew and create something entirely on my own.
My good friend has been giving me some great sewing lessons. I have been using my mother in law's sewing machine and recently completed my very first project of my own! I had seen a great bag that another blogger made and my friend had a pattern that was similar. With a little tweaking it created the bag I was longing for! I got the fabric for a steal and I am so proud that I made this. It is my new diaper bag and I love it. It's the perfect size, I created pockets inside that are personalized for what I need and it is really sturdy. There are a few errors here and there, but I can't believe that I actually made it! I also made one for my cousin, Vanessa, and she loved hers as well!

Not quite finished...I had to add the long strap.

#60-Create a photo book for the new baby.
I am so pleased! Rocky is only 3 months old and I completed his journey to birth baby photobook! It is adorable and follows my progress pictures, his birth, his time in the NICU and tells little tidbits along the way. I hope that some day he will enjoy reading it!

I'm not sure exactly what I will tackle next, but I have to say, I love having this list! It has opened up new windows to me and motivated me in ways that I would have just ignored without it!

The Haircut

2011-05-01T21:15:00.000-07:00

My son has not loved haircuts. From the moment he had his very first one a few days before his first birthday I have loathed the day that I have to take him for one. His hair grows long and down around his ears, it begins to look all shaggy. I can tell that it bothers him and tickles the insides of his ears, yet I resist. I hate the battle.

We tried everything. We tried those fancy kids places that charge you $20 a pop and have cars for the kids to sit in and videos for them to watch. We tried taking our computer and putting on his favorite Dora episode. We tried bribing with candy, videos, anything...it didn't matter. Every single time he would cry, sometimes he even screamed. A few cuts ago we decided to try to have me do it. Wow...talk about even more tortuous. The first time I cut it he SCREAMED throughout the entire haircut and Kevin had to hold him just so I could finish and he wouldn't look ridiculous.

His last haircut was better. He cried when I tried to use the clippers but let me actually cut his entire head of hair with scissors. Let me tell you...it takes FOREVER to cut that entire hair of head with scissors. Like almost two episodes of Dora in length. I did not look forward to future cuts with just the scissors. It was also kind of difficult to get the haircut to look very nice with just scissors.

When I came home from South Dakota this week his hair was long. It was shaggy. It was around his ears, over his forehead, so long in the back. I knew it was time again...time to tackle the haircut. Kev needed his haircut too, so I decided to do his first. I couldn't even get the clippers to go through his hair. They were a cheap $12 pair we had bought at Winners and they were proving to be worth even less than $12. I had only given Kevin two cuts with them and they were already worthless. Kev went out to London Drugs and bought a new set. He bought a nice set and the minute that I started cutting his hair he noticed a huge difference. He said the old pair used to really pull at his hair and hurt him. I thought maybe, just maybe I could actually use the clippers with Rusty too!

It was time...Kev's cut was done and Rusty climbed up in the chair. I started up the clippers and showed him that I could put it on my hand, then put it on his hand, my belly, his belly, etc. Then I said, "Are you ready?" He said he was and off I went. HE DID IT! He didn't cry! He hunched over a bit, but with the bribe of marshmellows for each time put his head down for me to get to the hard parts he did it! The haircut actually looks decent and he didn't cry...not one single time. He was pretty proud of himself. He said, "I did a GOOD job with my haircut!" We gave him ice cream AND a cookie for that one!

Now maybe I won't dread haircuts. Maybe I'll be able to get to it before his hair is practically in his eyes. Maybe.

Before: Cute but VERY Shaggy!

After: Looking Good!

Hockey Love

2011-04-27T17:00:00.000-07:00

I didn't know that the simple act of a little, black puck flying across the ice into the net could come to bring me such joy. When I was growing up, I was a sports fan...my dad saw to that. He can watch just about any sport on tv and be happy, and he enjoyed playing sports as well. Sunday afternoons in the fall and winter meant watching football games after church. Summers were spent going to or playing softball or baseball games. Spring was time for golf. I enjoyed playing volleyball and basketball in school as I grew up. One sport that I never really watched, however, was hockey.

I think my dad watched a game here or there, but it just wasn't really something that we followed much. I don't think it was that we didn't care, per say, but rather that there just wasn't really a team we wanted to follow. I do remember watching and following the Avalanche the year that they won the Stanley Cup. I thought it was sort of interesting. My senior year of University I went and watched a few games as well. My university had a club hockey team. Mostly I went to the games because it was hilarious to watch the crowd. I didn't really understand the game.

Then, I met this Canadian boy. I was on a trip to China, which you can read about in my about me section. I remember the first time I saw him. We were on a missions trip and his suitcase for the summer was a massive hockey bag. I was walking behind him to get on the bus that would take us to our training and he turned to me, huge hockey bag and all, and said, "So, do you know anyone here?" Three years later that guy with the huge hockey bag became my husband and with that, hockey became a rather large part of my life.

Although I can't say that I understand all of the rules, hockey has come to be a sport that I enjoy. I don't really follow the games on television-except during the playoffs-but I love attending a Canucks game and I especially love seeing my husband play!

Last night was a heck of a game. Our Canucks went all the way to game 7 in the first round of the playoffs against Chicago. They started the series well, winning the first three games, and then went on to lose three in a row. It wasn't looking good. Chicago seems to be the Canucks Achilles Heel. Every time we face them we just can't quite do it.

In the game last night we got the early lead. The Canucks were playing hard and it seemed like we were going to win...until the Blackhawks scored a short-handed goal with about a minute left in play. On to overtime. Yikes. I saw the disappointment in my husband's eyes and knew that he thought this would be another year of disappointment, another year when the Blackhawks would get the better of us.

Seeing him jumping up and down about 5 minutes later after Burrows goal made me want to jump up and down too. He was like a little boy again, so excited and shouting, "I can't believe we did it!" in absolute disbelief. The thing is, I was feeling the same way. Heck, I even got a little teary-eyed! I felt that relief, that great sigh, that huge burden had been lifted...they had won! We were moving on!

When did this happen? HOW did this happen? How did I come to the point where I am incredibly excited when my husband tells me that my birthday present is tickets to a Canucks game? How did I get to the point where I can't WAIT to have my little boy out there on the ice in his Tim Bits jersey? How do I find myself in the basement playing hockey for an hour at a time?

Perhaps I have a little Canadian blood running through my veins now. Maybe it has seeped in there after years of exposure. All I know is that I am doomed. I have a hockey loving husband and a two and a half year old that can parrot of the names of various Canucks, knows what a penalty is, and gets all excited at a CANUCKS GOAL. Add to that the fact that we have just had another little munchkin and although we won't force him to like hockey, odds are that he will love it anyway. Yep, it looks like it's a good thing that I have some of that hockey love now. All I can say is "Go, Canucks, Go!"

At one of the last games we attended...Kev had a hat trick and the guys gave Rusty the puck!

Enjoying a Canucks game on my birthday this year.

My three Canucks fans were all ready for the game last night!

I love going to games! We enjoyed one last January!

Rusty loved going to this game...I think it was the first one where he really started to have things "click" for him!

The Return of Big Bird

2011-04-26T14:28:00.000-07:00

When I was a child I had this amazing, totally cool chair. It was a Big Bird chair. When you sat down, it was basically like you were sitting in Big Bird's lap. I'm not sure why, but I REALLY loved that chair. I even continued to sit in it as I got older, and it was just always there. Life moved on, and next thing I knew I was in middle school or maybe high school, the details are fuzzy. All I know is that one weekend I went away to a volleyball tournament and came home and my chair was gone.

My mom had hosted visitors that day. They had a little girl, and she really liked sitting in the Big Bird chair. My mom just nonchalantly said, "Oh just take it! My kids never use it anymore." And with that, the Big Bird chair was gone. Well, my mom had no idea how much I LOVED that chair. I came home to discover it was gone, and was so upset. I don't know why I was so attached to it, but I remembered that chair and never forgot how it just sort of disappeared one day.

In fact, I loved that chair so much that I was just telling one of my friends about it about a month ago, lamenting the loss of the uber cool Big Bird chair. I thought of how great it would be to have that chair for Rusty and Rocky to sit on, and how I so very much loved it.

Enter my mom and the wonderful world of the Internet. Whatever did we do before the Internet?! This week when my parents picked me up my mom said she had a surprise for me. She said it was something I had wanted for years and it was too big to fit into my suitcase. I couldn't even begin to think of what it was. We walked in the door that night and there it was...my Big Bird Chair!

My mom said that the look on my face made her search and hard work totally worth it. She had decided to find that chair. She scoured Ebay until she found a set, not just Big Bird but Cookie Monster too! She bought the pair, and then when she got them they were totally sun faded. She bought some kid friendly paint and lovingly restored them and there they were. I actually almost started crying, I couldn't believe it. She had returned my beloved Big Bird to me. They are going to bring Big Bird and his friend Cookie Monster when they drive up here in July and I can't WAIT for Rusty to sit on them and use them. I think they will look totally amazing in our kid corner of our family room and trust me...I will NEVER be giving them away! Big Bird has returned!!

Meeting the Family

2011-04-20T14:37:00.000-07:00

My littlest man and I have made a journey to South Dakota. It's his first...my, what, maybe millionth? How do you count it when you have grown up here? I stayed with my cousins first and went to church with them on Sunday. Their pastor was welcoming me saying that Matt's cousin Stacy was visiting all the way from Canada and was a foreigner. Then during the shake hands time people were asking if it was my first visit here and I got to explain that no, actually this is where I grew up! It feels weird to have people look at me as a "foreigner" in my own land, but I guess in some ways that is what I am now.

Regardless of being a foreigner, I am so glad I made this trip home for little Rocky to meet my side of the family. We have been here since Friday and we are having a blast. Rocky traveled like a champ! We had a short plane ride to Seattle, a three hour layover-he slept for half of it!-and then a two hour flight to Denver. My cousins picked us up there and then we had a six hour drive home. Through ALL of that traveling he only cried for about 30 minutes at the VERY end when it was 11:30 at night and he was just soooo tired! He has done great!

The first four days were spent with Matt and Vanessa and their kids. Boy did we have a blast. I love those kids like my own. Matt and Vanessa had their little Peanut back in November, and she and Rocky were meeting for the FIRST time. It was so neat to see them interact and I look forward to seeing all the ways that they connect in the future. Matt is just six months younger than me and we were basically best friends growing up. He is more like a brother than a cousin to me and our families are tight. Rusty LOVES their kids so much and talks about them all of the time, even though he only sees them about once or twice a year. They are a major part of his life, and we have now added Peanut and Rocky to the mix! They will be coming up to Canada in August and we were making plans while I was there. We can't wait!

Cousins with Cousins!

Rocky and Peanut-Fast Friends

Oh I LOVE her!

Rusty loves Sunshine...it looks like Rocky is going to follow in those footsteps!

Last night they brought me down to connect with my parents and they got to meet Rocky for the first time. It makes me so happy that we can do this trip and they get to see him at this age and stage. He is such a little sweethart and my heart just warms as I hear my dad playing with Rocky and singing to him, and see my mom snuggle up to him and think of just one more excuse to come back into the house and kiss him before heading off to work this morning.

This morning I took Rocky in to meet my grandparents for the first time. As they get older, their memories fade a bit and they repeat things a bit more often but they still know ME and they LOVED meeting Jack. My grandpa was all smiles and he even held Rocky and sang the old German nursery rhyme that he used to sing to me as a child. It made me cry to see it, and made me so thankful to have one more opportunity to see them and for them to meet my child. As they get older and their health declines I always say goodbye to them with trepidation, wondering if it will be the last time. Each time that I get to see them again fills my heart with joy! This morning was another one of those moments. Just plain joy. Rocky loved them and showered them with smiles the entire time we were there. We will go back again tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to it!

My Grandpa meeting his newest great grandson!

Grandma B and her new great grandson!

I am looking forward to the next few days and then heading off to see my brother and his wife for Easter. I feel so blessed to have such a great family, as well as the ability to come and see them. Thanks honey!

Ready for Spring

2011-04-10T14:23:00.000-07:00

I am so ready for Spring and Summer. I love them for the weather, but right now I'm just more excited about the prospect of not being sick for awhile. I know it is not a guarantee, but I'm really hoping that with the better weather comes better health around here. Let me just say that I definitely understand that many people are going through rough times with their health and our issues are nothing in comparison. I am intensely grateful for that...I am also, however, really ready to be well again.

The other day we added up our medical receipts from the 1st of January. Our insurance is one that pays us back 100% but we have to pay first and then send everything in. From the first of January we have spent over $600 on medical bills. Yikes. That includes prescriptions for my flesh eating virus, massages for Kev's nasty sciatica, prescriptions for Rusty's current ear infections and bronchitis, prescriptions for my two bouts with sinus infections, prescriptions for two rounds of pink eye-Kev and Rusty-and a few other things on top of it. Yikes. It's not even the end of April yet! We are definitely ready for those doses of sun, the chance to whip open the windows and let the fresh air blow through the house and empty it of those germs. Right now I feel like our house is just infested. I plan to do a massive clean tomorrow-if I'm feeling up to it, that is. Right now I can't imagine having the energy for that, but I guess we will see.

Even the poor little man got his first cold as a result. I was up most of last night holding him upright in our recliner in the living room because every time we tried to lay him in his crib he would start coughing and gag on the phlegm in his throat. His little eyes are red and his nose is running. Poor little guy. He hates it when we have to clear his sinuses with the saline drops. It's the only thing he can have right now though. I hate it when my babies are sick. It's even worse when Mom is sick too and has very little energy to care for them. Thankfully, the hubby has remained strong. We're just praying that he manages to avoid this particular bug. Rusty is doing much better now as well, since we finally figured out after an ER trip and a trip to our doctor that he has an ear infection and bronchitis. Two doses of antibiotics later and he is a totally different little boy. He has slept through the night two nights in a row and he is so much more chipper! I am happy to see him feeling better. It's only the second time in his life that he has had antibiotics, both for ear infections. I don't love him having them, but sometimes it just needs to happen and when the result is regaining our chipper little boy...well, it's definitely a good thing.

Spring, please come soon, and when you do, can you bring good health?

It's not all coughing and runny noses around here...here are our cuties with their BELOVED Papa, at a Great Auntie's 90th birthday party. Look how CUTE they are!

That face...I just want to kiss it all over!