For My Mom

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I love you so much! Mom, you are amazing. I don't know how to fully express what you mean to me, but hopefully I can make a feeble attempt.

Mom, I'm not really sure what my earliest memory of you is, but I know that I do have a lot of early memories of you. You were an amazing mom to us as kids. There are so many favourite memories that cross my mind when I think of being a kid.

I love the way that you used to sing "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer" on chipmunk speed as we decorated the house for Christmas. I remember you always having a yummy cup of hot chocolate with those little mini-marshmellows waiting for us when we finished. I loved how you let us string Christmas lights all over the house, whether they looked good or not.

I can remember those picnics you always made for us. Now that I think back on it, perhaps it was a way for you to get a moment of peace while we were outside on the front lawn, but at the time I didn't know that. All I knew was that I had the coolest mom. I loved how you put together those little sandwiches for us and had our little cups filled with pop-a special treat for sure! We would sit out on the lawn on the blanket you had laid out for us and wait to see what special treasure was coming next.

Maybe you don't remember this, but I loved the time that you served us like we were at a restaurant. You made up little menus and set up a table in the family room just for us. We got to order our food and you served it to us. I felt so special and grown up. I think that your creativity, which I didn't fully appreciate until I was older, was always at work to make your children's lives fun.

Of course, I guess it wasn't always fun. I remember the time I told you that I hated you...it was the ONLY time I ever said that. I can't even remember why I said it, all I know is that I was a little kid and I wanted to do something and you wouldn't let me. I'm sure that it was for my safety, but all I could think, and say-much to my chagrin-was "I hate you! You're the meanest mom in the whole world!" I'm so glad that you knew the truth. I will never forget it. You looked at me and you said, "Stacy, you don't mean that. You are not this person. You love me and I know that, but no matter what, I love you." Wow...what powerful words. Words that still ring true today. No matter what I have done in my life, no matter mistakes I have made or great things I have done, you have always loved me, no matter what. I'm pretty sure that I came back to you about half an hour later, ready for that big hug that I knew would be waiting for me, because I DID love you, more than I knew how to express.

You know what else I remember, Mom? I remember as I got older and entered high school how you were always there. You traveled countless miles to be at my games. I don't know how many lunches you packed for my Saturday volleyball tournaments. You always made it to every concert. You traveled so many miles to be at my All-State Choir celebrations, once even through ice storms. It was amazing to have a mom that was always there, but do you know what I remember the most? I remember my junior year. It seemed like everything was falling apart around me. I felt like I couldn't handle everything that was being thrown my way. I remember the night that it all came to a head, it all came crashing down around me. My body was spent, physically and emotionally and I just wanted to call it quits, but you and Dad wouldn't let me. That very night you both sat with me and let me cry, for hours I'm sure. I was at least sixteen, but I remember both of you just cradling me and praying over me, telling me that it would be okay and you would be there for me, and you were. You were there. You and Dad began praying with me every night. We would meet, talk about my day and what was going on and then we would pray. We would pray until I knew that it would all be all right. We would pray until I felt that peace that I needed to fall asleep. That is what I remember the most. Thanks for teaching me how to meet God with my life, and put it in His hands. That lesson has carried me through many moments that could have broken me, but instead made me stronger because I had that strong foundation.
As I graduated and went on to university, you were there. You drove me all the way across the state, moved all of my stuff into my room and calmed my fears about meeting friends and making it "on my own." You were still always there. You drove hours to come and see me sing in the Pasquettes, you made the trip back at the end of the year to move me out and ANOTHER trip back at the beginning of the next year to move me in AGAIN. You were there to offer me advice as I faced more grown up situations, but you also taught me that I had to make decisions on my own with God's help, and you and Dad began to tell me that while you would still stand by me, I was an adult, and you could no longer tell me what to do!

After I graduated and took a job in California, you were there again. You and Dad drove me all the way out to California to help me move in. You knew how scared I was, because I WOULD truly be on my own now, and you helped me set up all of the little things that would make my new place feel like home. You were strong for me when I was more afraid than I had ever been. Then later that year, as I struggled to make one of the biggest decisions of my life, you listened to me on the phone as I tried to convince myself why I SHOULDN'T go to Canada, but then you supported me when I decided that I SHOULD. I know that it wasn't easy for you to let one of your babies move all the way across the country and THEN all the way to Canada but you did it. I didn't know until later how hard it truly was for you. I think it was when I came home to visit for my bridal shower and a little bird told me how hard it had been and how you had struggled with seeing me go. You never once let on, and that gave me the freedom to leave without feeling guilty. Thank you for that. When I heard that, I knew that on my wedding day, I would need not just my dear father, but also my mother there to walk me down the aisle. You had both made me the person that I was and the wife that I would become.
Mom, thanks for teaching me to think for myself. Thanks for being such a great role model to me. I remember always being amazed at the fact that you could do anything. I remember one time when my CD player wasn't working, and you opened it all up, rewired it, wrapped some electrical tape around it, and it worked for two more years! I still can't figure out how you knew what to do with those wires. You always came up with the best Halloween costumes for us to wear. You made me amazing clothes, that black prom dress that you made me is STILL one of my all time favourites.

Mom, you tell me that I am loyal, you tell me that I have a heart of gold and that I would give anything to anyone. Do you know where I learned those traits? I learned them from you. You are loyal, you are selfless too, sometimes to your own detriment, just as I am. Thanks for always giving everything you had to make my life better. Thanks for letting me cry when I need to cry, and thanks for being real with me and telling me the truth when I need to hear it but don't want to. Thanks for having a great marriage with Dad, and for modeling that for me. It made me want the same thing in my marriage and now I have it.
Mom, you are beautiful. When people tell me that I look like you, it makes me happy! Nancy was just telling me the other day how shocked she was the first time she met you because she couldn't believe that my mom was so young and beautiful. You ARE beautiful, not just outside, but inside as well.

Mom, Proverbs 31:28 says "Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her." Mom, this is how we all feel about you. You are an incredible blessing in my life. I am so thankful that you have become not only my mother, but also my blessed friend. After I got off the pohne with you today, I went out to the living room and told Kevin, "Wow, I love talking to my mom like that." Like what? Like she is one of my best friends, because she is.
Mom, I love you! Happy Mother's Day! Thank you for being a mother that I can admire and honour. I miss you, I pray for you, and most importantly, I love you!