Just keep swimming!

Why is it so difficult to get into shape? It is so ridiculously easy to fall out of shape, and every time that I do, as I work hard to get back in shape I wonder the same question, "Why is it so hard?"

It has been a lot of hard work to get to where I am at...well, was. I was running several times a week. It was actually easy to run several miles. I enjoyed it! That's the funny thing. I never thought that I would be one of those people that said I enjoyed running, but as I worked at it I came to that very conclusion. I truly loved it and actually craved it.

Right now I'm not enjoying it. I got sick. For over a month. For the majority of that month I barely had the energy to go from the couch to the bathroom back to the couch and then to bed. Running was the farthest thing from my mind!

Now I have no excuses. I'm better. I'm not coughing. I'm not weak. I don't have pink eye. I don't have any kind of illness that I know of, except, perhaps, a lack of motivation. It's harrrarrrrd! (That was my attempt at a whiny voice on my blog.)

I know that I can do it because I have done it before. I'm thankful that I have that time to look back on. I remember at about this time last year I hopped on the treadmill at the gym for the first time. It was sort of a fluke thing, really. I was bored with the elliptical and thought I would try something different. I only was able to run for about ten minutes, but it made me think. Then, my friend at school got me to sign up for the Vancouver 10K Sun Run. Not wanting to look like a fool in that race forced me to run more often in training. Before I knew it, April was here and I was running 10K for the first time in my life. I was scared out of my mind, but at about the 7K mark I found myself thinking "This isn't so bad!"

After the race was over, it would have been easy to quit. A funny thing happened though. I took a break and found that I missed running! It clears my mind like no other exercise has. I like to just get out there and pound my problems out on the pavement or the treadmill. I love hooking up the mp3 player and getting lost in the music. I have had some of my best worship times while running through Mundy Park listening to worship music. There is nothing like singing a moving song as you round the corner and seeing beautiful sunlight that your Father created streaming down through the trees. There were also other benefits to running. My chronic back pain simply disappeared! I found that I had more energy. I lost the last 20 pounds I had been hoping to get rid of. All of those were side benefits, though. I ran for the solace, that quiet time that soothed my soul.

I have been missing that time lately. I started running again last week and although it was tough, it felt good. Last night I ran for 30 minutes. About 15 into it I wanted to quit, so badly, but I kept going. When I got done, I didn't get that high I thought I would get. It made me mad. I was mad that it had only taken me a month to fall out of shape, but that it had taken me almost a year to get to the point where I could run long distances comfortably. I was mad that I was huffing and puffing so hard to run for an amount of time that would have been a light jog a mere month before. I was mad that I had to put in all that work again. I wanted to quit. I was fed up!

Then, I woke up. I woke up this morning and realized that I had slept better than I have slept in a long time. Today at work I noticed that the insanely high level of irritation I have been experiencing lately was not there. The bumper to bumper traffic on the way home didn't bother me. I was in a good mood as I joked and taught my kids. I was smiling more! I realized that I couldn't quit. I needed to keep working.

It will come back. I will get back to that point again. Hey, I just ran for thirty minutes last night after a month off! I remind myself that the first time I ran I could barely make it ten minutes. There's a line in a lovely kids' movie that came out a few years ago. A cute little blue fish named Dori advises her companion to "Just keep swimming." I think I will take that advice. Just keep running!