Never Neverland

I'm starting to wish that Never Neverland was a real place.  I think I would send my boy there...actually I would go there with him and we could stay in this place forever.  I know, he will continue to be all sorts of wonderful the more that he grows, but lately I'm starting to realize why it is that grandparents love their grandkids so very much and start hinting at wanting some the minute their own children get married...they've been waiting for Neverland to reappear ever since their own children left it years before.

This age is a magical age.  Some nights I walk into Rusty's room to check on him while he is sleeping and I almost start to cry with how beautiful and truly amazing he is.  I look at his little lashes resting gently on those plump, little boy cheeks and want to stop time...just for a little bit.

He is, in a word, amazing.  He amazes us every day.  I find myself constantly wishing for a video camera to be running 24/7 just to catch all of the silly antics and crazy things that he says so randomly.  I wonder all of the time if I will remember what these moments are like.  As we anticipate the arrival of another baby, I think back to Rusty's first days and first months and find that so many of them are such a blur.  I'm thankful, ever so thankful, for this blog.  Even though I swore before having Rusty that it wouldn't turn into a blog devoted simply to him I know that it has...at least somewhat, and I'm not sad.  I'm not sad, because sometimes I will just click on a random posting from when Rusty was 3 months old or 8 months old or whatever age and I am instantly taken back to that time through his gorgeous face on this screen and my words that are describing him.  I have come to the point that I don't really care if this blog is so often about him, because it is my blog and it is what I need it to be right now, at this point in my life.  It is capturing brief glimpses into our lives, and I know that some day I will look back on those glimpses and be so very thankful for them.  I recently found a site that turns your blog into a book, and I was so excited that my husband told me to send him the link for it.  I'm hoping that this Christmas or my birthday will hold a special surprise in the form of at least part of my blog printed into a gorgeous book and there will be my words, down on paper, for eternity.

So back to the land of Peter Pan and all of his crazy boys.  Our little man is our precious little Peter Pan.  He is full of funny sayings, crazy faces, and hilarious antics that I constantly want to capture.  This morning he woke up about 6:30, much like he always does, and normally I give him some books to read in his crib while I get ready for work but today I couldn't help it, I just had to snuggle with the little man.  I scooped him out of his crib and we curled up together in the chair in his room and talked and giggled for the next fifteen minutes.  He smothered me with kisses and as I said, "I love you SO SO much, you're so nice!" he would reply,

"I love YOU so, so much!  You NICE Mommy!"  My heart was in a puddle at the foot of the chair. We rubbed noses in our "nosey nose" kiss and I tickled him and kissed his sweet cheeks and little neck.  He told me stories about his friends from daycare and I sang with him and laughed.  I wanted to gather him up, hop out of that window in our pajamas and fly right away.  I wanted to escape all of the meetings, marking, and responsibilities of the day and just go and be kids in that wonderful place...even if just for a day. 

I know he's going to grow up.  People tell me I shouldn't snuggle with him before bed each night because he will come to rely upon that to fall asleep, but I don't care.  I know that when he is six it will be harder to get him to snuggle with me and when he is 13 the snuggles will be nonexistent-although I still hope for lots of hugs!  I know our relationship will change and although I still hope it will be wonderful and amazing and full of love, care and sharing...he won't be my sweet, snuggly little munchkin anymore.  At those moments Never Neverland will seem like a dream far away, and I think I will find myself running back to my blog and looking for posts like this, posts that remind me of that morning so long ago that I pushed aside getting ready for work and just relished the joy of my magical little two year-old for a few more minutes.

I'm hoping for a little more Neverland magic this weekend.