The Love of a Family

I have always had a great, close-knit family. Even as I was growing up and living the blissfully unaware life of a child on the farm, I knew that what our family had was different and special. I lived a mile from my cousins, and just two miles from my other set of cousins. My dad and his three brothers ran our feedlot and farm, and everyone pitched in. They were just always there!

For every birthday I was surrounded not only by my immediate family, but all of my aunts, uncles, and cousins. People at school often joked that our family made up half the population of the school and that without us, the town would cease to exist. Hours were spent playing baseball in the fields that had been harvested of the corn or wheat growing there. I remember playing hide and seek among the huge stacks of haybales down by the silos. Even a task that would normally be tiresome and difficult, such as shoveling snow, became fun when I was surrounded by family. I was lucky enough to have one particular cousin, Matt, that was closer to me than a brother. We were just six months apart in age, and as much as I pretended that different girls in my grade school classes were my best friends throughout the years, Matt was TRULY my best friend. It was a blissful, extremely happy childhood.

Then, we all started to grow up. We entered high school, and then university. We began to go our separate ways. My sister was the first to betray us, or so I thought. I was a junior in high school and I will never forget how devestated my heart was when I learned that she would be moving away to South Carolina. It seemed so far away. She was one of my best friends, and I just knew that everything would change! I admit it, I didn't like my future brother-in-law too much the first time I met him because in my eyes he was the one that forced the change. We were no longer the most important people in my sister's life, instead she was moving half way across the country to be with this guy! What was wrong with her?

The years passed by, and I began to understand. I went away to college myself, and my younger cousins slowly grew up. I began to get those big dreams myself and I thought about taking jobs in different states, away from the family farm. It seemed to me that things were changing, and I was right.

In 1997 we had a big storm that pretty much devestated the farm. We tried to recover, but things were never quite the same after that incident. We all knew that the inevitible was coming...the farm would be sold. It was simply a matter of time and circumstance. None of us knew exactly when it would happen, and we hesitated to even talk about it, for we all loved that place. There were so many memories tied up in it, and I think in the back of our minds we all feared that if we weren't together on the farm, that closeness would die off, we would lose it.

The farm sold the summer that I got married. I remember going home in May of 2004 for my little brother's graduation. My aunt and uncle had already packed up their house and moved. My parents were in the process. The house seemed cold, empty. I was in shock, and felt a deep, strong sense of sorrow. Everything was going to change. That closeness our family had always shared would be gone. How would we stay connected? Who would keep us together? The farm was our home base, and now it was almost gone. I remember feeling deep, dark sadness when I left the farm that last time.

I cried and tried to soak in everything about the house, for I knew that I would probably never set foot in it again. I knew that I would not WANT to set foot in that house again. As I walked through the kitchen one last time I rememered the time we laid new linoleum and my mother let us draw all over the plywood before it was put down. I knew that those pictures of our childhood were still there, beneath my feet. I wondered if the new owners would pull up that flooring and wonder about the kids that had spent hours playing there. I passed by the old fort behind the shop in sadness, thinking of us carving our initials into the tree and the hours we spent playing house and imagining being adults. When we drove by the fields I thought of all of the mornings I had awoken before dawn to help my dad set the water for the fields and I remembered running through corn that was feet taller than myself while playing hide and seek with my siblings and cousins. Driving out of the yard we passed the old sledding hill and my mind brought the image of my cousin and I flying through the air before we hit hard and broke my ankle. So many memories, I feared they would be lost.

Time passed, I got married, my sister and her family moved to Illinois, my parents bought a new house, my cousin and my aunt and uncle moved close to Wyoming. My other cousin moved across the state. It seemed that we were all scattering. I went home for my sister's wedding in July of 2005 and everything seemed different. I didn't feel like we were as close...conversations sometimes seemed stilted and I wondered if anyone understood my new life and if I could truly understand theirs. Even my relationship with my sisters had changed. They no longer necessarily seemed like some of my best friends, but rather strangers that just happened to know about my childhood. It was difficult, and again, I felt the sadness.

As another year and a half passed by, I decided to make an effort to close those gaps, despite the physical distance between us. Our family worked hard to reconnect, and when the time came to come home this Christmas, I approached it with a bit of trepidation, but also with great excitement. Would we be able to mesh? Would we truly connect?

When we drove into my parents' yard on Christmas Eve Kevin asked, "Are you nervous?"

"Yes," I replied, "and I don't know why. I mean, this is my FAMILY!"

We stepped out of the car, and suddenly the door was thrown open and my big sister came out onto the steps. She enveloped me in a huge hug, then moving on to hug Kevin while my little nephew locked me in his arms and refused to let go. Oh, how sweet it was, I was home.

As I made the rounds receiving hugs from various people my eyes grew misty. I knew what I had hoped in my heart was true...this was my family, and we could not be torn apart.

I learned something this Christmas break. If family is close, they will always be close. Time and distance cannot tear us apart. We may grow through trials and difficulties, but we will stay close, nonetheless. We are family.

My family is growing into something new and different than it was ten or fifteen years ago. We are growing up, having families of our own. We live miles apart and have to rely on things like blogs, e-mails, phone calls and msn messenger to keep us close, but if we are determined, we can make it. We have grown past being just brothers and sisters, mom and dad. We are now friends. I think it is amazing when a family can move into that stage. I am so thankful that my family has moved into that stage!

I had the best time this Christmas break. My sisters and I all agreed that it is probably the best time that my family has had together since we all moved out. We played games, we laughed, we cried, they took care of me while I was sick, we had good conversations and most important of all, we simply reconnected. We adapted and opened our arms to welcome in the new family members, the new sons, the nephews. We adapted. It is the new generation of our family, and it is sweet. I am so thankful for my family...what a blessing God has bestowed upon me and I will not forget to thank Him for it!