When I first moved to Canada, I think I honestly went through a bit of a grieving period. I grieved for all of those friends that I had left behind. I was still just a year out of university, and those friendships were still the most real to me. They were the ones that I had gone through a lot together with and quite honestly I believed that most of those friendships would stay real and strong, despite the distance. I have discovered, however, that this is not always true.
It was tough to be so far away. It was tough even to talk on the phone. It seemed like our lives were so far apart. They didn't know where I was or what I was doing. Yet, I didn't really have any close friends here yet. I felt very alone. I loved my boyfriend, soon to become my fiance and then husband but let's be honest, a girl NEEDS her girlfriends! Over time the sense of loss faded and I began to make some new friends.
Nancy is amazing. She is a blessing. She is full of joy and love. Nancy has this incredible ability to make you feel like you are the most important person in the world to her. She gives great hugs and any time that I am away from her for very long and can't talk to her I go through withdrawl. I think that Nancy and I talk on the phone just about every day on my way to work. Nancy was the first person that really opened up to me and that I felt comfortable opening up to as well. Nancy has become one of my nearest and dearest friends, and I don't know what I would do without her! I love you Nancy!
As time went on, I slowly began to develop other friendships as well. Leanna Banana was one of them. Now, Leanna is the queen of staying in touch. She's always phoning, sending e-mails, doing whatever it takes to let you know that she's thinking of you. I have to be honest and say that I haven't always done this as well with her, yet she never gives up on me. She is always there, ready with her gorgeous Leanna grin and her upbeat, positive attitude. Leanna has taught me a lot about staying positive no matter what! I love you girl!
I have been blessed to gain some great girlfriends through work over the past year. I don't know what I would do without my coffee girls! Man, I don't know how many times I have cried and laughed with these amazing, incredible ladies over the past year. I know that one of the major reasons that I am looking forward to going back to work this year is because I know that I will get to see them every single day. Our friendships have gone beyond work and developed into very real, give and take relationships. My girls, man, I love my girls!
Then there's my hockey buddy, Michelle. We started hanging out basically at the boys' hockey games, but soon she wiggled her way into my life. I don't always easily open myself up to others but Michelle is just so gracious and kind that I couldn't help but open up to her. She is so generous and loving and always welcoming to anyone that is around her. She's got style too! I look to Michelle as my fashion guru! Often when I am looking at buying something new I find myself thinking "Will Michelle like this?"
Kev and I have been blessed to have some very strong couples enter our lives and draw close to us in friendship. I think it's so important to have those relationships in life. Those people that can be as close as family to you. We are blessed to have Jason and Tara Hnatiuk. They have become some of our absolute best friends over the last few months. When I lost the baby, the only person in the world that I wanted to see that night that I found out was the Hnatiuks. I knew that Tara would understand and as we went to their house and had dinner and laughed so hard our sides hurt, I knew that we had good friends. They helped me to not think about how sad I was just for a few hours by telling us all sorts of crazy stories and then the boys left and Tara and I just sat and she let me cry without making me feel that she felt sorry for me. Good friends.
Cam and Angela Jonat and their boys are our camping buddies, our movie buddies, our New Year's Eve buddies and more than that, they are real, true friends. They have come through for us time and again. We know that we could go anywhere and do anything with them and have fun. They have hugged us in the midst of tears, they have laughed with us around the campfire, countless tables and through many life changes. The Hnatiuks and the Jonats are our small group family. We just share life together. We are family!
I've been thrilled to see another friendship develop over the last several months. Our friendship with James and Andrea Davies is growing in leaps and bounds. They are an adorable couple and it is always rare to find those couples where the girls and the guys can connect on such a deep, fun level. Andrea is a total sweethart and I am loving getting to know her. Our families have been friends for many years, and I can't wait to see our friendship with the Davies develop and grow. I see many happy moments in the future for us.
But, this is where I have to mention those faraway friends. The ones that have stuck by me no matter what. They keep calling, they keep emailing. They send me cards...they simply don't give up. Sometimes I am so in awe of their ability to stick with it. There are two of them that come to mind. Lacy and Nicole. Lacy and Nicole are both amazing women that I met during my college years. They are two of the ones that I talked about before, the ones that I thought I would always be close to. They are the only two that have remained close to me out of all of those friends. It is because of the amazing people that they are!
Lacy. What can I say about my Lacy J? Just hearing her voice on the phone the other night brought tears to my eyes. We got to know each other my third year of university. We were both Resident Assistants together in Pierson Hall. I honestly can't remember when we became so close, it just happened. Lacy and I can talk about anything. Lacy is a spiritual beacon in my life. God uses Lacy in such amazing ways! I haven't met many people that have the same kind of relationship with God that she has. And it's amazing...she's always sending me cards and verses and they are always EXACTLY the words that I need to hear the very moment that I open them. The one that I received a few days ago actually caused me to just about weep because they spoke to me so clearly in that moment of my life. Lacy is coming to visit me in November. I'm so excited I can hardly stand it! I can't wait to sit down for coffee with her and give her a big hug. Lacy is so much a part of my life that she is now part of my family! She goes over to my parents' house all of the time and she and my little sister go out for coffee, movies, whatever! It makes me so happy to know that Lacy is there doing those things with my family...it makes me feel a bit less guilty about not being able to do it myself. Lacy, I love you...I can't WAIT to see you! I'm counting down the days!
And then there is Nicole. My Nicolo, my SIB, my friend soul mate. Nicole and I found each other our first year of university and we have not given up on each other since then. We have lived on separate continents, yet our friendship remained. We have gone through broken relationships, engagements, marriages, and many other life experiences together. Nicole and I spent hours simply driving around and talking, and that ability to talk about anything remains to this day, even though we haven't seen one another in five years. Wow, has it really been five years? Nicole called me at my parents' house this Christmas. We were so bummed. She was in South Dakota, and I was in South Dakota...we were just on separate sides of the state. We had both planned to drive three hours and meet in the middle, but weather and illness restricted us from seeing one another. She phoned me and we must have spent at least two hours on the phone. It's always so easy to pick up right where we left off. I'm also amazed at the ways that we can seemingly connect in our lives as they are now, too. I know, without a doubt, that if Nicole suddenly moved in to the house next door to me we would be inseparable. She would be one of those women that I would have a standing coffee date with, one of those women that I would call at three in the morning when I am so upset I can hardly speak and she would run over in her bathrobe to comfort me and sit with me all night. Nicole and I will always be close, no matter the distance that separates us. I'm thrilled that she will be moving to Illinois, as I hope that I can visit her and my sister at the same time. I look forward to spending that time with her. Nicole I love ya!
There are even friends from high school that still bless my life. The first that I can think of is my Nessa. I remember the day she and my cousin got engaged. I was SO thrilled because I knew that no matter what happened, Vanessa would always be a part of my life, and she is! She's more than a friend, she's family, whether she wants to be or not.
I was also able to renew an old friendship over Christmas this year. I met with my friend Ann-Marie for lunch. We go way back. We were locker buddies in grade 7, played basketball together from grade 4 on up, and just have always had fun together. We're in different stages now, she has three boys and is going on to have her fourth child-a girl!- this fall. We live in completely different places. We have very different lives, yet we are still friends. As we sat there at lunch it wasn't awkward at all and she has become very important to me over the last six months, as I know that she has petitioned God on my behalf as I have gone through some tough things. She even sent me a book that she had read that helped her through her difficult pregnancies and she has sent me many e-mail messages to encourage me. My friend Amanda has done the same thing!
I have been blessed. God has always put incredible women into my life that become part of my lifeline. I'm glad to have friendships from the past and friendships from now that are all very real in my life. They are my lifeblood. I'm so thankful for my friends.
Awww...nice post. It was nice to read about all of your friends and put faces with names. I began to think of who I would talk (or write) about if I were to post something similar. I can relate to the feeling of leaving certain friendships behind, not intentionally, but mostly out of circumstance. It's weird and sometimes sad how life goes. But I think the best part about losing is finding out what you're really gaining--discovering which friends will be there through it all and sometimes it just takes time to figure that out. I laugh when I think of all of the many people in college I swore would be lifelong friends. Although I wish them all of the best, many have gone by the wayside and now I couldn't tell you where they are or what they're doing. I'm okay with it though--it's always better to have a few great friends than many acquaintances--at least that's my theory. :)
ReplyDeleteBy the way...did you get the card I sent? I'm never 100% sure if I'm addressing it correctly. I think I might have written something corny beneath your address like "Canada" even though I know you're not supposed to do that ("Germany")! LOL.
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