5 more weeks

That's all I have left! In five short-or long, depends on the day-weeks, I will be done working for an entire year! As much as I'm looking forward to it and talk all of the time about how I can't wait, there are moments that I wonder just how it is going to be.

I know, I know. I've heard all of the talk. I have spoken to countless friends that are moms that talk about how much they love being home with their children. I'm also the first to say how thankful I am that we have such wonderful maternity leave benefits in Canada. I honestly still can't believe that I'm going to be paid to stay home with my baby for a year. It seems a little surreal. Go Canada! The mat leave-and the free hospital delivery-are great reasons to be living in Canada for the birth of this little one. Yippee!

Today, however, a little dose of reality hit when my vice principal came to talk to me and said that they have hired my replacement for next year. Somehow that simple fact made it all a bit more real. Up until that moment, it had sort of seemed like every other year around this time when I am counting down the days until summer when my wonderful man and I get to have so much time off together. When he said that it was like suddenly a light bulb flashed in my head that said, "This isn't just a two month break!" Wow. WOW! Life is going to be so, so different at this time next year!

I think I'm going to miss my kids. Right now I say that I won't, but actually...I really love them. They are so much fun. This morning I tried to call a sub because I was feeling pretty awful, and really thought a day home in bed sounded pretty good. Unfortunately, the only substitute that knows any Spanish has been hired on by the middle school through the end of the year. I sucked it up, got up and showered, and drug myself to work. I really thought it would be a rough day. While I can't say that I felt great all day, I can say that my kids made all the difference in the world. They are so sweet, and they work so hard. We have so much fun in every class. They are really in there to learn, and to my shock, I think they are actually learning quite a bit this year!

I believe this has been my best year as a teacher yet-which I guess is good, since you are supposed to improve over time. This is the first year that I feel like I'm really on top of things, that 95% of my lessons are of top notch quality, that my kids are learning big things from me. I'm so excited to see students coming in from last semster that are still speaking Spanish in their free time together, and want to know which one of them I think has improved the most. I love to see how my students start out knowing nothing in grade 9 Spanish and end up being able to write entire paragraphs at the end. I really love seeing my grade 12s write journal entries once a week, without notes or any help, and the improvement that comes with that. I appreciate hearing about the kids that have gone on missions trips to Spanish speaking countries and how well they utilized their Spanish that they had learned in class. It's amazing!

I also love the conversations I have had with my kids that have nothing to do with Spanish! I feel that I really get to know them, and learn about their lives. I love hearing what's happening with them, and seeing how they change and grow as people. It always amazes me the interest that they take in my life as well. I have had students tell me that they are praying for me and the baby, and my grade 10 class almost seems to be more excited about this baby than Kevin and I are! It's so neat to teach a student starting in grade 9 or 10, and to see the incredible individual that he/she becomes by grade 12.

I also have made some of the most incredible friendships at school in the last two years. I'm really going to miss seeing those ladies every single day. I don't know what I will do when I can't just hop down to their rooms over lunch or ten minute break to chat. I guess Baby S and I will have to come for a lot of visits.

Yes, this year has been a blessing. I think that I have been challenged, and I have risen to the challenge. I have grown as a teacher, and as a person. I have grown in my faith in immense ways, and I truly believe that this growth has impacted all of the other areas of my life, including my teaching.

I know, without a doubt, that next year will be incredible. It will be a challenge beyond everything I have ever experienced, but more rewarding than anything we have experienced thus far. I am so excited to meet this little one that kicks and wiggles within me. I can't wait to see this baby's face, to touch its hands and feet, to hear its little cries and giggles. I know that Kevin and I are going to be wonderful parents, and we look forward to every moment of the next year, but I also think that at the end of five weeks I just might feel a bit of sadness.

I wonder if my kids will miss me. Will my colleagues notice my absence? Will life simply go on? I suspect it will. I hope that in my time over this year I have managed to impact the lives of my students. I hope that they will look forward to having me back. I hope that they have learned something from me...not just about Spanish, but about life and faith and love as well.

I hope that this next five weeks goes quickly, but I also hope it doesn't fly by too fast. I hope that I can get in many more last minute laughs with my kids. I hope that they can learn just a few more things. I hope that at the end of five weeks I feel happy to be done, but also feel a sense of accomplishment.

I look forward to next year...but I'm going to try not to wish away these next five weeks.