To My Kids...

Today I said adios to my last classes of students for a year, if not more. Since I am unsure of what the future will bring, I can't say for sure that I will see these kids again as their teacher after a year. Wow...it's a little surreal. I remember when I started teaching 6 years ago. I know I'm not a seasoned veteran by any means, but when that first day of school started in California back in 2002 I was scared! I wondered how I was going to do it, and when it would ever start to feel routine. I thought about teachers that had been at it for five years and that seemed like forever, yet here I am, past that mark and thinking that the time has felt like nothing at all!

Now I'm a little bit scared in a different way. I'm a teacher! It's my passion, and a true love of mine. I do not go to work dreading it every day. As much as I have talked about being excited to be done over the past few weeks, in the back of my mind was the thought that next year I am not coming back. Weird. This is what I know! I'm good at it...what if I'm not good at what this next year brings?

Today I gave out my usual end of the semester course evaluations. I love doing these, because the kids are good about being honest on them, and I always feel like I learn a lot from them. I have changed projects, I have changed my teaching style, I have changed my devotions...so many things as a result of these evaluations. I love that the kids are real and express their true thoughts and feelings on them. Today? Well, today those evaluations almost made me cry. I'm not trying to toot my own horn. I just want to say that I felt loved...truly! I had so many kids express how much they truly enjoyed me as a teacher. They said that I was difficult but that they learned a lot, which is something that warms my heart. I had several kids tell me that next year just won't be the same without me around. I even had a few write "I LOVE YOU MRS. S.!" on their evals. Several expressed how lucky my baby is to have me as a Mom, and that I'm going to be great! As student after student came in asking me to sign their yearbook this afternoon and telling me how much they will miss me next year, my heart realized that maybe I have actually made a difference in this place. Maybe all of the hard work I have put in to not just teaching Spanish, but to showing these kids how much I really care about them has gone noticed. Maybe I actually can do this Mom thing!

I know that next year is going to be a true reward. I know that raising my own child and getting to know it are going to be the best experience of my life. Yet, I have to say thanks to my students of the last six years. They have been my "kids." They have done a lot to prepare me for this journey of parenthood. They have challenged me...not always accepting what I say at face value and sometimes forcing me to reexamine what I think and say. They have shown me how much it means to give a kid a listening ear. So many of them are the kind of kids that I hope my child grows up to be...kind, respectful, funny, creative, and not afraid to be independent and they have taught me how to foster those qualities in my future child. They have taught me discipline strategies! They have helped me realize that sometimes a kid just needs a smile and a kind word. They have made me a better person, and ultimately, I think a better future mother.

Today a staff member asked me if I was sad to be done for a year. I replied the automatic response of yes, but I don't think I really am. I don't think sad is the word. I'm way too excited to be a mom to be sad, yet I will remember these past six years fondly. I have grown. I have changed. I have learned. I think that in many cases, I have grown, changed, and learned as much or more than my students.

To my kids...thanks! Thanks for making me laugh...every day. Thanks for sharing your hearts with me in class, during devotions, at lunch time conversations, or even in passing in the hallways. Thanks for teaching me how to be a good teacher. Thank you for sharing a little piece of your incredible lives with me. Thank you for allowing me to share bits of my life with you. Even though I'm happy to be done, I'll definitely miss you!

And this photo is too cute not to share! My grade 10 class threw me a baby shower, complete with blue and pink balloons and streamers since they didn't know the gender. They were so excited and it was the cutest thing ever. We played baby pictionary, had pink and blue frosted cupcakes, and just had a great time. Thanks guys!