Blah...

That's how I feel today and I can't seem to shake it. I'm not really sure where it is coming from.

I had an amazing date with my husband last night, one that we have waited for! We finally celebrated our anniversary and five amazing years of marriage with dinner at the Boathouse-can you say YUM Wild Chinook Salmon with wild mushrooms and roasted rosemary potatoes? This was followed by a walk along the pier and a stop off at Marble Slab Creamery. It was such a great night...we went through our entire dinner conversation without talking of Rusty once or sitting there and simply staring. I was so happy to look at that man and realize that five years and one baby later we still have enough interesting things to keep us talking throughout an entire dinner! So really, what is my problem? After a night like that I should be on cloud nine!

The weather is gorgeous, so I can't blame it on that either. The sun is shining and I'm pretty sure that we are going to head out to enjoy it after Rusty wakes up from his nap. I'm thinking maybe water park? I love the sun, the grass is green, the flowers are still blooming, and it isn't TOO hot, just warm enough to make things pleasant and give you that smell of sunshine on your skin. Why am I feeling blah again?

I think I'm just stuck in a bit of a rut. I wanted to work out, and Kevin even gave me the option of going swimming while he stayed here with Rusty, but for some reason I backed out. What is my problem? I MISS working out, I crave it in fact. I'm feeling so blah in that area lately. I really miss running. I like swimming, but it's not the same as lacing up the runners and pounding out the miles. Last night was we were driving home we passed by a runner on the side of the road and I was like, *Sigh.* I know, I know, I should be thankful that I can walk and I'm healthy and I am, I just miss it. I have an ultrasound on my knee on the 27th, which will hopefully give us some answers as to where this journey is going next. I hope that it ends with me being able to get back into it, because man do I miss it! I miss feeling that strength in my legs, feeling my lungs fill and empty, feeling the sweat as I get further and further into it. I miss that time of being able to think, and listen to my music, and just get all of the frustrations out.

I know, it's like a pity party for myself. Really, you should stop reading this, call me on the phone, and tell me to get over it, to buck up, to stop feeling sorry for myself. Kev decided to go to the gym and before leaving told me in the gentlest voice possible, "You need to wake up!" Ha! How's that for encouragement. Actually it is just what I needed to hear. He let me sleep in until I woke up this morning, which was just after nine and he's so sweet. He never complains. Seriously, sometimes I think the man is half saint. He doesn't lose his temper, he helps with housechores, he has practically single handedly been taking care of Rusty lately so I can do some things that I have been waiting to do. He even cooks more than he used to! What did I ever do to deserve him? I have no idea...I'm still pretty sure I don't deserve him most days, I just throw up my hands and say "THANK YOU LORD for this amazing man!"

Wow, even typing this has been good for my soul. I'm sitting here thinking about what a wimp I am to be feeling sorry for myself when I have so many amazing things going on in my life right now. Maybe I should write a thankfulness list instead of a whining list.

I'm thankful for:

• Kevin! As a movie we recently saw stated, "He is the butter for my bread!" I can't imagine life without him and there are so many times that I stop and think about how blessed I am to have such a great husband. He is everything that I could have hoped and longed for and more! To quote another corny movie, "He completes me!"
• Rusty! What a little character. He is crazy and full of laughter and fun. It is so neat to see his little personality developing. He is already something of a character and he will do things over and over if they make you laugh. One of his favorite things is the fake burp. Yep, not even a year old and he's already fake burping. It started because one day he had a big burp and I said, "Oh EXCUSE you!" For some reason he thought that was so funny so he made a little fake burping sound and I said, "Excuse you!" It's pretty cute, but now I'm stuck with trying to decide if I am teaching him bad manners! Yikes! It's cute now when he's not even one, but will it be cute when he's 3 and knows better? I doubt it! He is also becoming affectionate on his own. I think it is even better to have him kiss or hug me of his own accord than when I ask him for it. There is nothing better than sitting on the floor and having your little munchkin toddle up to you and give you a big hug. Oh man, I'm smiling just thinking of it! Sweetie!
• Our home. No, we don't own one, but I am so happy with where we are at. This suite is so sunny and bright and we have such incredible landlords. They are so helpful, and super sweet. They also are generous! Every time my family has come to visit they have allowed them to stay in their guest bedrooms upstairs so that they don't have to get a hotel or sleep on our floor. He comes down and hangs my pictures for me and he is so precise that they look better than they have ever looked in any other house! The yard is ours to use and one of our favorite things is sitting out there with Rusty in the playpen and just enjoying the sunshine. Also, my kitchen is a DREAM and I think that wherever I go from here I will forever be spoiled by this kitchen. The space, the bright light, the counters! It's awesome!
• Family. My. Family. Rocks. Seriously...they are amazing. They are close, but not so close that they annoy you wanting to know every little detail of your life. They are funny. Whenever we visit them we laugh and laugh and laugh. They are caring. They call when they know things are tough. They are part of my soul. Last night I was Google Earthing all of their houses just so I could pretend that I was there with them. Weird, I know, but I can't help it, I just long for them!
• Friends. Wow, I have so many great friends. In any given situation I know that there are at least three if not more people that I could call upon and have help, support, love in a moment's notice. I love having my mommy friends that I can get advice from, I love having my girlfriends that make me laugh and give me that girl time. I love my blogging friends that have become a part of my life even though I don't know them! I'm so blessed.
• Starbucks. I know, you will say that I am wasteful, or throwing away money but seriously people, I don't drink it every day. It's such a treat when I do get it. Everyone has SOMETHING that they enjoy and can always brighten their day, mine simply happens to be in the form of a skinny hazelnut latte or a nonfat no whip half sweet peppermint mocha or a caramel light frappucino or a nonfat iced vanilla coffee! Ooh, or a nonfat chai tea latte or a no whip vanilla bean frappucino or a light ice passion tea with a shot of raspberry. Yummy! Good thing Rusty is taking a nap or I might be hopping in the car to head to the drive thru!
• Technology. Email, cell phone, Facebook, blogging. They all make my life away from my family so much easier. I know that there are people that don't understand my connection to technology, but I think that they probably also don't know what it is like to be so far from your family. I love getting up every day and reading my "daily message" from my mom. I love getting texts and photos from my sisters and brother. I love going on facebook and seeing photos of what my family has been up to. It's funny, recently when I was home a friend commented about how I wasn't really on facebook much the entire time I was there. It was because I didn't NEED to be. I may seem like a facebook addict at times, but it is mostly because it is my connection to my family. Seeing their daily status makes me feel like I'm part of their daily life. Getting to chat with them in real time makes me feel like I just had coffee with them. Seeing their pictures allows me to be in their lives. I LOVE Facebook and I think it was an awesome invention and all of those people out there poo pooing it should try living far away from their families and then see if maybe they can find a use for it in their lives. I saw one of my aunts when I was home and she commented on how much she loves being able to go on facebook and see pictures of Rusty, that it just made her day. That right there was enough for me to know that it was worth the time I spend on it. And besides, without technology how would I ramble out these thoughts to all of you every day???
• The ocean. There are few things I love as much as the ocean-even though yes, when I swim in it I am afraid of the Giant Squid that is going to come and wrap his creepy tentacles around my leg and pull me under. I can't help it people, I have done research, they DO live around here! However, that being said, I still LOVE the water. I love and so appreciate that we now have a cottage on the water that we can get away to and even share with friends from time to time. I love living somewhere that the ocean and mountains exist in tandem with one another. It really is paradise here, even if it does rain 9 months out of the year!

Well, I could keep going but you know what? I find that I'm not feeling so blah anymore. I think I'm going to do some Wii Fit and then shower and get ready to enjoy this sunny day!