Missing Him

We have been apart for almost two weeks now. I knew I was going to miss him, I just didn't know how much I was going to MISS HIM! I'm not sure why it is worse this time. We have been apart this long before, but it was pre-Rusty. I think he is perhaps the biggest factor in this, although certainly not the only one.

I miss my husband. I miss him big time.

Here are some reasons why:

• He gives the best hugs, seriously. Man, I didn't realize how much I was used to those hugs. I often complain to him that he doesn't give me enough of them and we once embarked on a mission to have him give me TEN hugs a day! It was enlightening for both of us. I am definitely a person that loves to be hugged, and I really miss his hugs now. They make me feel safe, warm, loved, comforted, protected. He gives good hugs, and I miss them.
• I miss the sound of his voice. We have been blessed to talk almost every day on SKYPE (God, please bless the people that invented Skype, it TRULY is an amazing, wonderful thing!) and I love it every time his voice comes across my computer. It goes waaayyyy back to the days when we were dating long distance and I would wait for his calls and hear his hello and just...*sigh.* My husband has a VERY sexy voice.
• I miss seeing him with Rusty. He is simply the best dad. He is patient, loving. He is not afraid to give Rusty kisses and hugs, and he is the cool dad that will always play with him. As I have been away, I have realized how much Kevin really does play with Rusty, and help ME with him. It is such a partnership, and the boy MISSES his Dad. I wondered if he would stop asking for his "Dada" while were here, but that has not been the case at all! He still comes up to me several times a day, pointing at the computer and asking to see "Dada!" I am THANKFUL that I have so many videos up on Facebook of Kevin and Rusty, for that has come through in a pinch so many times when we can't get Kev on Skype. Rusty will sit there, mesmerized, simply watching his Dada over and over and over.
  
• He is the one that I bounce things off of. We talk, a lot. We aren't one of those couples that goes out to eat together and has nothing to say. I love talking to my husband, and I miss even our daily chats about nothing in particular. I miss bouncing things off of him.
• I miss praying with him. We pray together, EVERY SINGLE NIGHT before we go to sleep. We go to bed at the same time, and praying is the last thing we do before bed. I miss that. It has been hard for me to go to sleep without laying my head on his arm, praying or listening to him pray, and then drifting off to sleep to the sound of his breathing. I miss that.
• He takes such good care of me. He is always looking to do whatever is best for us as a family. I miss that caretaker. Last night we had to figure out alternate arrangements for me to get home due to bad weather here in South Dakota. I was panicking looking for a new flight and calling the airline to work out getting the money from the old one applied to the new one. I realized that doing that sort of thing is SUCH a foreign concept to me now. Kev wasn't at home or near a computer, so he couldn't take care of it for me, and at one point I was on the phone with him and I said "I'm so used to you just DOING this!" It's not that I couldn't do it, I am a perfectly capable, intelligent woman, I just usually don't HAVE to do it. He just takes care of me. I like that.
• He keeps me level-headed. Kev is one of the most chill people I know. He just doesn't get ruffled. He has this huge faith and trust in God, and that He is in control, always. That has rubbed off on me through the years, and kept me level-headed and helped to lower my stress levels considerably. When I am away from him, I feel that stress level starting to come back. I felt it last night. It took half an hour for the knot in my stomach to go away when I was dealing with the airline stuff. I was shocked when I realized it had been a LONG time since I had even felt that knot at all.
• He has the most amazing blue eyes. He looks at me and they make me melt. It has always been one of the things I love the most about him. I swear he can look right into my very soul. I love his eyes.

I really could go on and on. I miss my husband. Don't get me wrong, this time with my family has been such an incredible blessing. I love seeing Rusty with my family. He loves them so much and he is SO comfortable with them. They love him too and have been good for him. I love that I have had uninterrupted time with each family member. I like that Rusty and my dad start the day together and have their little routines. I think its awesome that Rusty knows that my mom will take him in and tickle him and throw him around on the bed. It's been fun to see Rusty loving on his cousin, Miss A so much. He gave her lots of hugs and kisses tonight, and I like that now he KNOWS these people. However, it would have all been just THAT much better with Kevin around.

My family loves Kevin, and he loves them! He has fit right in as though he always was a part of it. It is really weird to be here, especially at this time of year, without him!

This time has given me a HUGE appreciation for the armed forces and the families in it. Those people are separated not just for two weeks, but for an entire year or more sometimes! I really have a great respect and appreciation for them. I know one woman that has gone through her entire pregnancy showing her husband ultrasound videos from afar, hashing out a name over five minute telephone conversations, and worked to capture videos of the baby moving within her so he can see them. I am in awe of these people and all that they do! THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart. These two weeks have given me such an appreciation for you. I know it is nothing compared to what you go through, but know that I value you!

Honey, I miss you. I will see you in two days and I can't wait for that hug! Love you!