Choosing Joy

Some days you just have to choose joy.  You have to make a physical, mental and emotional decision to CHOOSE JOY.  Today is one of those days.  I am just feeling overwhelmed, emotional, physically exhausted and ready to crack.

I'm starting work full time again on Monday after a year of maternity leave.  I have been in and out of my school this week trying to prep for that.  It's fun to be back, I enjoy seeing my colleagues again, and I am looking forward to interacting with the students but it is also emotional.  I have a lot to do just prep wise and I am trying to balance that with being a good mom and a wife that is there for her husband.  There are also friends and family that I'm desperately trying not to ignore. 

On top of all of that Rusty was just healing up from an ear drum perforation and infection-he finished his last dose of antibiotics on Sunday-and Rocky is getting FOUR, yes that is right FOUR teeth at a time.  Needless to say I have had little sleep and my daytime hours have been chalk full.

Last night that was all topped off with Rusty waking up at 9 p.m. screaming uncontrollably and saying his ear was ouchie again.  Huh???  Is that even possible when you have JUST finished antibiotics?  I took him to the ER and found that yes indeed it IS possible.  They gave him some codeine to get him through the night and then this morning I took him in to our doc.  Repeat ear infection, more antibiotics and a referral to an ear, nose and throat specialist.  Rocky also wanted to add his two cents to the mix and was up several time in the night with his poor sore gums and a sniffly nose. 

AFTER Rusty's doctor visit we were off to the dentist-doc said he would be ok for it since it was a simple cleaning-and we discovered that he has FOUR cavities!  FOUR!  I was so bummed out.  We brush his teeth faithfully, we floss, we don't let him have a TON of sugar-just the occasional treat.  He doesn't even drink juice-only once every few weeks or so.  I had no idea how this happened.  Our dentist is great and reminded me that it can sometimes have nothing to do with actual hygiene.  Still, Rusty now also has to see a pediatric dental specialist to have all of this taken care of and I left the office feeling like a terrible mother. 

Then, I started thinking.  I was thinking of Lil Blue Boo, who is fighting a daily battle with cancer and trying to be a mom and wife and business owner.  I thought of my Miss Nikita, who fights chronic pain but chooses to keep moving forward.  I thought of my friend J, who has been fighting a migraine for 20 days-that is right, I said TWENTY-and is now seeing a neurologist to figure out what the heck is going on.  I filled my mind with all of these people and how even with all that they are going through they are CHOOSING JOY on a daily basis and thought, "I can certainly choose joy as well." 

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.  ~James 1:2

 

Let's be honest, I'm not really even facing troubles, just bumps in the road.  So in light of all of this I have decided to sit down and write a joy and thankfulness list before I move forward any further in my day.  I'm sitting at my desk at school with heaps of work surrounding me.  Rusty is in the care of Nana and Papa, so I know he is ok.  I need to refocus on what is good and right in my life so I can move forward with energy and joy.  Here we go:

• I'm thankful that I have a high quality hospital about 10 minutes away from our house where I could take Rusty last night.  Even though it took a long time to get him in, I know that the doctors are of excellent quality and they would do what it took to help him.  And they did.
• I am thankful that I have an amazing family doctor that allows us to email her, fits us in on an emergency basis even when we don't have appointments, and even gives us baby furniture when she is done with it. 
• I am thankful that I have a working coffeemaker, for without it I am not sure I would have made it out the door this morning. 
• I am thankful for my husband, who tried valiantly to keep both boys quiet this morning while getting them ready for the day so that I could try to squeak out just 15 minutes of sleep, and who was up with the boys as much as he could help last night-unfortunately when a little boy is sick he usually just wants his mommy.  :(
• I am thankful for the fact that I have a job in a wonderful community of people that will help to provide for the needs of our family, with a boss that is compassionate and caring beyond belief and works to make sure that I am well both mentally and physically.
• I am thankful for the many friends that I have that constantly offer to step in and help when they see that we are having a bit of a difficult time, from child care to meals to just providing a listening ear.
• I am thankful for technology and the fact that through the simple pushes of a few buttons I can let my family know that our little guys aren't doing well and ask for their prayers at ANY time of the day.  
• I am thankful for the iPad, which helped Rusty to get through at least PART of the visit to the hospital last night.  After awhile he was in so much pain even the iPad couldn't distract him, but at least it worked for a little bit!
• I am thankful for Nana and Papa, who always step in to help if they can, and the fact that Papa can always make Rusty smile!

I mean, I could easily keep going, but I DO have work to do and besides, I feel focused now and ready to go!  Gotta finish up here so I can get home and snuggle with those sweet boys!