The new me

OK, so I said that I would use this blog to let you know what's going on in my life and how I am feeling, and tonight I'm going to do just that.

All of my life, weight has been a struggle for me. It seems as though I was always surrounded by thin people! Many of my friends in high school were thin and beautiful, friends in University were more of the same, and then there are Adrienne and Candace! They are just so gosh darn cute without trying! All of my life, I remember desperately wishing to be thin easily. I played a lot of sports throughout middle school and high school, and I honestly believe that this was the only thing that kept me from becoming very big. Once I went to college and stopped exercising, but kept eating more and more, the weight piled on. I knew it was happening, but it happens over a period of time, and you don't really realize how much you are gaining. I avoided the scale, and tried not to think about it.

I clearly remember one particular afternoon that I was trying on clothes in a Target fitting room. I can't remember what size the pants were, but they were very large, and I couldn't get them to button. I remember crying right there in the fitting room. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to make me change my ways.

After moving to California, it just got worse. It seemed as though I didn't have time to fix myself proper meals, and I bought lunch at school every day. Needless to say, it wasn't the healthiest. I continued to gain more and more weight.

In July of 2003, I moved to Canada. I had my own place and things were busy. One day, however, I was looking at some pictures of myself from California, and something inside of me snapped. I decided that I had enough of this, and I was going to change something. I asked Kevin to buy me a membership to Fitness World in October of 2003 as an early birthday present. He looked at me oddly-of course no guy wants to buy that for his girlfriend! Will she think that he thinks she is fat? He assured me that he loved me just the way that I was. I said, "I know, but I still want the gym membership." So, we went down to Fitness World and there it began. Just a month later, Kevin proposed to me. I sort of knew it was coming, that was why I had moved up to Canada after all, but it was still a surprise. We quickly set a date, and then I had true motivation. I had always promised myself that I would be beautiful on my wedding day, and if that meant eating differently and going to the gym, I would do it.

I worked my tail off, and by the time my wedding came on July 3rd, 2004, I looked different! I had lost about 20 pounds, and I was really happy with myself. I did feel beautiful on my wedding day and I was proud of myself! Then, we went on our honeymoon...needless to say, I wasn't at the gym and I wasn't too worried about what I was eating. After returning home, we left again almost immediately for South Dakota. The summer was spent traveling all over the place, and I didn't exactly stick to a routine. The weight began to come back. I was mad, because I had worked so hard, yet I couldn't motivate myself.

It took me awhile to get back into it, but I did it. One night I was reading an article in a magazine and it said that the average couple gains 12 pounds each in their first year of marriage! I relayed that fact to Kevin and we decided that we would not be that couple. We began to eat much healthier-whole wheat bread, sandwiches for lunch instead of eating out, and other dietary changes. I began working out again and Kevin started doing situps and pushups in addition to his hockey and soccer games. We did it! We didn't gain those 12 pounds each, and in fact, I recently finally hit the goal weight that I had set for myself when I began this thing two years ago! I'm now below it.

This Christmas, I went to the post-Christmas sale and bought new clothes. I had still been wearing all of my old clothes, and I could take them off without unbuttoning the pants or shirts. Once I put on clothes that fit, I felt completely different! It was so awesome to take those pants into the Gap fitting room, put them on and look in the mirror thinking, "I look great!"

I'm not writing this to brag, but I did promise to be honest, and honestly, I'm proud of myself! It's not always easy to get my bum off the couch and go to the gym, but I do it. I used to hate the fact that I had to work hard to maintain weight, but now I am thankful for it. I know that it makes me a much healthier person overall, and when I am 80, I hope that I will still be living a lifestyle where I get exercise at least three times a week.

I'm so thankful for Kevin. Throughout all of this, he has always told me how beautiful I am. He thinks I'm smoking hot now (wink, wink) but he has always been an encourager to me. I have never felt that he was telling me I was fat. I remember him telling me how beautiful he thought I was the very first time he met me, which was why he sat next to me on the bus. He did it just so he could strike up a conversation with me. My friend Nancy has also been an amazing support. She has had an incredible weight loss of her own, and she gets me out into the sunshine to enjoy the amazing area we live in! This summer, we conquered the Grouse Grind together for the first time. It wasn't easy...it is referred to as "Mother Nature's Stairmaster." It is a 1.8 mile hike that literally goes straight up the side of the mountain. By the time you reach the top, you have gained 2800 feet of altitude! I was so proud when I reached the top.

So, that's where I am tonight. I guess it hit me tonight...I was tired, and had been at home for a bit. Today was a long day at work and I really didn't want to go to the gym, but I did it anyway. While I was sweating away on the elliptical trainer, I started thinking of how great it felt and then I thought, this is good. I'm thankful to God for giving me the amazing heart that pumps my blood, muscles that work hard for me, and the ability to get off the couch and go to the gym!

Here are some pictures...
1st picture-Me, in the summer of 2003. I'm in South Carolina visiting my sister.
2nd picture-Our wedding day: July 3, 2004


and finally, me, this Christmas, 30 pounds lighter than the summer of 2003!