To My Fellow Commuters

Dear Fellow Commuters,

I never thought that I would be one of those people that was a commuter. I never dreamed I would sit in hour long line-ups just to drive to or from work each day. In fact, I grew up in a really small town. We had a population of around 500 people. A traffic jam for us meant that a tractor was heading down the highway in a no passing zone, which in turn caused all of the cars behind it to follow at a snail's pace until we were able to get to a zone with the dotted yellow line.

I remember taking a trip to Denver, Colorado my grade 12 year. We were there as a group of young athletes. We had earned the trip by getting so many points through participation in the various school sports teams. We took a drive from Denver to Colorado Springs to see the Olympic Training Center. On the way home, we got stuck in some rush hour traffic. It was crazy. I remember inching along, spending half an hour or so to go a few miles. I thought, "This will never be me! I can't imagine doing this every day! How do these people not go crazy?

Well, now here I am. I am one of those people. I get my radio blaring, talk to my God, or gab on the phone to pass the time. Most of the time I do all right, but I have to admit it. Now that I have been doing this for four years, I have built up just a teensy bit of road rage. I'm not the type to whip out a gun, mind you, I just get, well, irritated! I mostly find my irritation building with the increased stupidity of my fellow drivers. So, to you, those stupid drivers, here are my thoughts of the day.

Dear Mr. Little Silver Foreign Car on Mariner Way This Morning:
If you are going to go BELOW the speed limit, please do not drive in the fast lane. You back up all of the rest of the traffic. It is impossible to get around all of this traffic and you slow things down for everyone. Not only that, you are actually pretty dangerous, because going 35 in a 60 zone in the fast lane causes many people to become quite irritated. They then do crazy things like whipping out in front of others and back around quickly to try to pass you. So, Mr. Silver Car, please, PLEASE go in the slow lane if you are going to choose to drive 35 km/h.

Dear Mr. Black SUV on Schoolhouse This Morning:
Thank you! Thank you for your kindness! You stopped your car to let me in, and it was so nice. You didn't have to, since I was waiting to turn right out of a parking lot, but you saw me and decided to be kind. Thank you. There aren't enough of you on the roads these days.

Dear Ms. White Ford Escort from the On-Ramp to the Port Mann Bridge this Morning:
I don't know if you know for sure how merging works, but typically the car in the left hand lane will allow one car in the right hand lane to come in, and this goes on and on and on. This keeps traffic moving at a solid pace. The person in the left hand lane does not NORMALLY drive so close to the bumper of the car in front of them that there is barely a toothpick's space just so that the car in the left hand lane cannot get in. They also do not SPEED UP in order to stop the merge. Merging is a fact of life! It has to happen! There is nowhere else for me to go BECAUSE THE LANE WAS RUNNING OUT!

Dear Everyone That Does Not Seem to Know How a Roundabout Works:
You do not need to come to a FULL and COMPLETE stop before you enter the roundabout. That is the point. You can keep going if there is not a car coming in your lane. You also do not leave the roundabout by crossing over into the other lane when there is a car actually in that lane! It's just a circle people. We can do this!

Dear People that Are Waiting in the Lineup from 200th Street to the Port Mann Bridge with Me:
The side of the road is not for driving on really fast so that you can by-pass the stop and go traffic. It's actually just the side of the road. If you have car troubles, you can pull over there and stop. If you are an emergency vehicle, you may certainly drive there, although hopefully you won't have to because hopefully the people on the road will be able to pull over to the side of the road to let you through, as long as they aren't afraid of getting hit by the cars using the side of the road as a highway. We are all busy. We are all in a hurry. This does not mean that we can use the side of the road as our own personal highway!

Dear Two Women that Decorate the Little Tree by the 160th On Ramp:
You are wonderful, thoughtful, generous ladies! I always look forward to seeing how you are going to dress that tree up for the next holidays. I remember the first time I saw the little Christmas ornaments on it. Then the hearts for Valentine's Day! Magnificent! I always look at that tree now, just to see. I'm waiting to see what you do next.

Dear Mr. Big Black Ford F250:
I know that you are big, but that doesn't mean you can push people around. You can't ride my tail and push and push until I go into the other lane. You are not allowed to "race" the cars near you just so that they cannot pass you. You are not allowed to whip in and out of traffic, causing others to slam on their brakes to let you in, just because your truck is bigger than their Civic. Be respectful, please!

Dear People that Sing in Your Cars and Dance to the Tune:
Thank you. You make my day! You make me laugh with your little shakes and wiggles in beat to the tune. You make me throw my head back in delight when you close your eyes-just for a second-to really belt out that tune! You are the sunshine of the commuter highway. You make our day better.

Dear Nissan People:
Thank you for putting the air filter in the Altima. It has saved me from breathing in the smoke of that buddy in front of me numerous times. I know that they are in their own vehicles, and therefore entitled to do whatever they want, but every time they stick that cigarette out the window the smoke inevitably wafts in through my vents. Just hitting that air filter button brings me such joy, as the smoke is suddenly gone! Poof! Adios! You are my heros, air filter people.

Dear Everybody Else that is Following the Rules and Doing Your Best to Get to Work and Back:
My heart goes out to you. I am like you. In fact, I think that about 95% of us are this person: we just sit in our cars with our radio tuned to our favorite station. We use our blinkers, we allow others to merge when needed, we pull over for emergency vehicles. We do not flash our lights at the person in front of us. We do not cut other people off and we drive at a reasonable speed. We are conscious of that the fact that these are actual human beings in the cars next to us, and sometimes we even and smile and wave at them when they do something nice for us! I applaud you! Keep going, keep being who you are. Don't let the road rage get the best of you, even when it threatens to boil up and spill over. That's what I'm trying to do!