Back in the Groove

Two posts in one day? I know, it's a shocker. I must be neglecting my child...either that or Daddy is home with us. Yep, that's it.

Today I got back in the groove. I had been putting it off, claiming that I still wasn't feeling like "myself." However, I found today that I could put it off no longer...I'm talking about working out. I was a faithful runner before I got pregnant. Thanks to the two miscarriages, however, once I became pregnant my doctor advised against it, so I stopped. I missed it...but then, I didn't. I got used to not running. I was still active, swimming and walking, but no running. I thought I didn't miss it. Boy was I wrong!

Today I sat procrastinating for a couple of hours trying to decide which thing I needed more, a nap or a solo workout. See, Kevin was home of course since it is Sunday, and said that he would be happy to take care of the munchkin on his own so that I could get some me time-isn't he a fantastic hubby? He also took care of the boy last night so I could go out for dinner with my girls...what a man! He loves his time with Rusty, and has recently taught him how to stick his tongue out...it's the cutest thing! Oh yeah, I was talking about working out, wasn't I? This is what I did for hours this afternoon as I tried to get up the courage to go to the gym.

Finally I decided I just had to jump in so I dug out my workout gear, got ready, and made my way down to the gym. I decided to start out easy, so I got on the elliptical and then followed it with the weights circuit. Still, the treadmill called to me. I looked at it, wondering if I could do it. I was afraid to find out that I couldn't. I remembered the first time I had started running and how ten minutes on the treadmill seemed like a long, slow torture session. Finally, I walked over and hopped on. I pumped up my music and hit the speed button. The treadmill started moving, and so did my legs. It felt like I was coming alive!

My body remembered! It's been almost a year since I have run, but it was like it had just been a few weeks! Granted, I'm not going to go out and run my 2 1/2 or 3 miles tomorrow, but I ran over a mile today, and it wasn't even that bad. I have a confession to make...I actually had tears come to my eyes as I was running. Not from pain, but from joy. See, I had missed this time. I missed having this time to myself to listen to my music, work hard, and sort out things in my mind. I hadn't really worked out for almost a year without wondering or worrying that it was going to somehow hurt my baby and possibly end it all. I didn't realize what a grip that fear held over me until today when I was up on that treadmill pounding out step after step. When I realized how free I felt and how good it felt to move my body, I just started crying.

I'm sure the girl on the treadmill next to me thought I was crazy...she probably thought I was just starting running, which in a way, I was. However, I was starting with joy, rather than a bad attitude. I made an agreement with my wonderful mother-in-law tonight, and she has agreed to watch Rusty several mornings a week for an hour or so in order to give me this much needed time in the gym. I can't wait! I am so excited to get back at things.

That being said, I also have to say that I am amazed at what a woman's body can do. Just a year ago, I was probably in the best shape I have been since high school, maybe even better. Then I had to quit working out for the sake of the baby. I felt my legs losing muscle tone and watch my belly grow, but all the while I was filled with joy, for we were going to be blessed with a precious child. We had prayed long and hard about that. Still, in the back of my mind I wondered how it would be. How would it be after he was born? Would I be able to get back to the gym, or would I lose motivation? What would my body be like? I am so thankful to be able to do what I love once again!

I don't take this for granted...I am thankful. God is a big and wonderful God, and He gives us these amazing machines to house our souls while we are here on Earth. I thank Him that I can walk, and run, and laugh, and enjoy time with my family. I thank him for the opportunity to experience the wonders of pregnancy. I thank Him for every kick, every pound gained and lost, all of it, for he has blessed me! I thank him for these things, because as I type this, I have the chance to look over at my precious babe's face, peaceful in slumber, and know that none of it would be possible without God.

It's good to be back in the groove. I like working hard again. I'm going to have a body composition done tomorrow, they weigh you, check body fat percentage, etc. I look forward to seeing where I am at in four weeks...it gives me a goal. Hopefully I can stay on track.