Friendship is...

Okay, I suddenly find myself with an hour to myself. Just for me...wow. This afternoon my mother and father-in-law took the munchkin so I could do some much needed marking for my course. I was getting behind and after three hours on the couch marking I am caught up. Phew! That feels good, but boy am I tired! Anyway, I was waiting for the boys to get home, when Kevin called. He said that he was watching the big Canada vs. Russia game with his dad and his mom wanted to know if I wanted to come over for dinner. This came as a huge relief, since I didn't know what to make for dinner, and quite frankly was wondering how I was going to drag myself off of the couch to play with my sweet little boy when he walked in the door. Now I know that I can simply keep my rear firmly planted on the couch and enjoy the fact that I am alone for the next hour. I thought I might spend it sleeping, but let's get real, Canada versus Russia is on, and I am always one for a good game. I guess I will catch up on my blogging world!

I have been thinking about this posting for awhile. It's on friends...friendships to be exact.

As I have gotten older, I have realized how important good friends are. Now, a good friend is not simply someone that you spend a lot of time with. I'm not even sure exactly how to define a good friend! I know that I can give some examples of what I have seen as good friendship in my life!

• Friendship is my girls coming over after my recent health issues, telling me that they were there to take care of me. They took turns watching Rusty for the afternoon, brought good food, flowers, and just general conversation. They washed my dishes and just made me feel loved.
• An important one to me is someone that understands when I DON'T call or email or even text for awhile. They get that I have a life that I am living, and that my first priorities are my husband and son, and that sometimes it is ALL that I can do to take care of them and love them. They don't get offended if I don't talk to them for a few weeks or sometimes even months, because they know that it doesn't mean I don't care and that I'm not thinking of them...it just means I am trying to get through the stage of life I am currently in! My friend Andrea is the perfect example of this! She is ALWAYS there for me, always. She is genuine, sweet. She is the picture of God's grace walking this Earth. Sometimes we spend a lot of time together in a short amount of time, sometimes we might not even text or talk for weeks. It doesn't really matter. I know she is there and thinking of me, and she knows that I am there and thinking of her. It's that simple! When we do get together there are no apologies for "I'm sorry I haven't talked in awhile..." we don't even bother wasting time with that! We just pick up RIGHT where we left off and carry on! She has been one of the biggest blessings in my life in this last year, and her friendship quickly becomes more and more dear to me!
• Friendship is my random blogging buddies. There are people that will NEVER understand this aspect of life...how you can have a blog, connect with someone, become dear friends with them, come to have their lives and what is happening to them become important to you...and never have met them in person! There are three people in my life that I can think of-I think you three know who you are-that have entered because of my blog. We have never met, I don't know if we ever will, but we have things in common, we have shared trials together, we have given advice and been shoulders to lean on...all via the wonderful world of technology. These three ladies have been there for me and sometimes know more about what is happening in my life than people that see me every day! They have opened up my world to different ways of thinking and made me a better person. Thanks Britt, Sarah, and Sunny!
  
• Friendship is people not talking about you behind your back, or judging you, or assuming things about you. I hate it when people make little comments that sound nice at first, yet have a deeper meaning to them. Friends don't do that to each other, they just don't. You tell it like it is, and if you can't do that, then maybe you aren't really that good of friends!
  
• Friendship to me is celebrating with one another. Celebrating additions to families-even if it might be something you struggle with due to current life circumstances. My friend Serenity will always and FOREVER be the perfect example of this to me. She tried for three years to have a baby. We prayed that we would be pregnant together. We longed to be on mat leave together. She watched me get pregnant, go through my entire pregnancy, and was even there for the birth of Rusty...all without being pregnant herself. I know that there were moments she struggled with this, yet she bore it all with amazing grace. She was a beautiful example to me of trusting in God, no matter what. She celebrated Rusty with us, and spent as much time as she could with him. Even though it was hard. Even though her heart wanted that too. Now, she is pregnant! The shoe may be on the other foot for us, and I only hope that I can extend the same grace to her that she did to me.
  
• Friendship is not begrudging what others have, but celebrating it. When something good happens to one of my friends, I am happy for them. I celebrate with them! I don't say boohoo to them and their good news or success...even if it is something that I would love to have myself! When I hear that a friend gets to go on an amazing vacation, I am so happy for them! I want to hear about it, to see their pictures, to learn what their favorite part was. I want to live vicariously through them, to be honest! Even if I do wish I could go to...it doesn't mean that I spite them for it. An example I can think of here are my friends Stef and Laura. We recently bought a home, and they were some of the first to show their excitement and talk about how much they appreciated that we had this opportunity. They both showed interest in everything we were doing, and Laura couldn't wait to come and see our place. She wanted to be a part of this exciting time in our lives.
• Friendship is people that you don't even know gathering around to help you. We recently joined a small group through our church, and the people in it have so impressed us. We barely knew two of the couples, yet when we moved they were right there helping. Christine watched Rusty for us the day of the move and provided a meal for us. Jeff and Carissa gave their time with actually moving. Chris is going to lay our tile, James and Andrea, well, we will NEVER be able to pay them back for all they have done for us. Good people, good people.
• Friendship is old friends that are just always there! You can call them up and ask them for dinner and they are excited to come. You can remember good times of the past, but also celebrate the right nows. You share in trials and difficulties together, and you call on one another in those difficult times. They are free babysitting when you are at your wits end. They are those that let you sit on their couch when you just want to cry, and say Go ahead, cry! My friend Tara is an example of this. When we had our first miscarriage, she was the only person I wanted to talk to. I knew she had been through it and she would understand it. I will NEVER forget going to their house that night, the night we found out, and them ordering pizza for us, letting us stay there for hours. She told me it was ok to be mad. She made me laugh-I actually LAUGHED-by telling me a funny story. I'm sure she doesn't remember what that story was, but I remember every word. She provided free babysitting for us the week before we moved so I could pack and make some sense of life. She is quiet, but she is valuable.
• Friendship is that girl that makes your son her nephew, and loves to snuggle with him, and makes cute things for his room, because she wants a nephew to spoil! She is that girl that gives you great hugs, and prays for you, even from afar. These are my Leannas and Anges.
  
• Friendship is that true, deep friend that has been with you practically since you were born. It starts with playing in the sandbox together, going through school together, watching each other get married and have kids. Making those kids as important as your own. Sharing in tears. Sending you big hugs via email because you can't be together. Calling your cousin "kiddo" and making me feel loved and taken care of, even when you are six months younger than me...this is my Matt and Nessa. My dearest, oldest friends. The ones that were there from the start.
• Friendship is my family. How blessed I am that they are not only family, but friends, best friends. We can laugh together, get mad at each other, celebrate, send each other messages about the Bachelor, or what we will wear to a wedding, or how we are feeling, or what we are afraid of...all in the SAME message!
• Friendship is the love of my life. It is laughing together over inside jokes. It is making silly faces and silly voices to each other. It is...well, it is two becoming one in a marriage blessed by God.
  

I know it's a jumble, but lately I've been thinking a lot about what friendship IS and IS NOT. I know that I am certainly incredibly blessed in the life that I am living and the people I am surrounded by. I only hope that I am as much of a blessing in the lives of my friends as they are to me.

Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing a good job. I feel like perhaps I am falling short. I am working hard just to survive, yet I do what I can. I hope that all of you that are reading, that are my dear friends, know that I love you and I think of you and I pray that I can be there for you like you have for me. Love you, my friends!