Here we go again!!

Today we enjoyed a day downtown as a family.  At one point we were sitting on a sunny patio, a little family, enjoying our amazing lunch and Kevin said, "We have a great life."  I had to agree!  We have an amazing, blessed life. It's not one that has always been easy, but it is really, really wonderful and blessed. 

We now have another blessing to add to that list.  It hasn't come without pain and difficulty, but I'm finally at the point where I am feeling relaxed and excited about it, and ready to share.  I think you know what's coming...yes, that's right, baby #2.  In reality, it is baby #5.  It's weird to think that and even stranger to say it out loud.  We had a specialist ultrasound a few weeks back and the tech asked, "And which pregnancy is this for you?" 

"Number five."  At least in replying with that statement this time, it was with the knowledge that we had one amazing, precious, special little boy back home waiting for us.  It was knowing that even though we aren't 100% certain why the miscarriages happened and at a bit later stage, that little boy was our one miracle, our promise, our gift from God.  I replied knowing that we were about to possibly see either a thriving baby, or perhaps one that was gone to us, but already with God.  Although I was a little nervous, for once I wasn't terrified...a new feeling for me going into an ultrasound!

That specialist appointment was amazing.  It was a long ultrasound, at least half an hour or more of just seeing our baby on a huge flat screen with a neonatal specialist explaining every single aspect of what we were seeing.  We saw the little sweethart rolling around, standing on its head, moving in response to what the tech was doing, and just being an amazing, ALIVE, adorable baby.  It melted my heart and my insecurities.  I didn't realize how insecure I was feeling about the pregnancy until we had that ultrasound.  I walked away from it feeling elated, hopeful, joyful and excited.  Since that experience it has stayed with me...the hope, the joy, the confidence and the peace.  I know it is not just from the ultrasound, it is also from the relationship I hold with my heavenly Father and the mounds of prayer that are being heaped upon us.  Seeing this also helped a lot.

Sorry for the fuzziness...I took a picture of the picture on my phone and sent it to myself...we don't have a scanner.  Isn't the sweethart ADORABLE?? 

I find that I am enjoying this pregnancy more than I enjoyed Rusty's.  I'm not as scared, and I'm too busy to think about so many of the things that filled my head with fear in his pregnancy.  I like not being scared to pick up a jug of milk or even my 30+ pound toddler.  I am excited at the prospect of meeting this little munchkin that I already feel moving around from time to time.  I don't mind the idea of a belly growing, I never have.  When else in a woman's life can she actually relish a growing belly!?  I say enjoy every minute of it!!!

I'm sixteen weeks now, and our doctor feels that we are probably past our scary point.  We are not naive.  We still know that things can and do happen in pregnancies up until the end, but I am choosing to be thankful, to enjoy this pregnancy as much as I can, and to just remind myself of this:

You will keep in perfect peace
       him whose mind is steadfast,
       because he trusts in you.

Isaiah 26:3

This verse was my steadfast reminder throughout my pregnancy with Rusty, and will be with this baby as well.  I know that sometimes things don't happen the way we want them to, I have been there, I have been there with friends, but I also know that God has brought me through and given me peace in the midst of that.  I have to trust that this time as well.  

15 Weeks Pregnant Last Weekend on Our Hike in Whistler

In the meantime?  I'm having fun!  I'm enjoying this little belly growing.  I'm taking a lot of naps.  I'm eating a lot of ice cream.  Do we have a great life?  Yes, thanks to the Lord and his heaps of blessings, yes we do.

One of my current favorite pics!  I consider myself to be with my TWO kids!  My big, strapping almost two year old in my arms and my little sweethart just showing in my tiny belly.  This was today in Stanley Park...the belly is showing now!  16 Weeks is a beautiful place to be!