Determined

Determined...that was the word Kevin's mother used to describe him.  It was during a conversation with her on one of my first trips up here.  She's a sweet lady, and she is usually very...how shall we say it, tactful?  She would never come right out and say that her son is stubborn, no way.  She was telling a story about trying to get him to sleep through the night.  They left him to "cry it out" and he literally cried...almost all night long.  That story should have been my first warning, but I have to be honest, at the time I was just crazy in love and not really thinking about having children with the man I was hopping on a plane to see once every other month.  Determined.  Hmmm.

Now I find that I, too, am the mother of quite a "determined" son.  It should come as no true surprise.  Rusty is, in so many ways, a little mini Kevin.  Kevin has lately taken to saying, "Well, I like it, so of course Rusty does too!" and it is usually true.  He looks a lot like his daddy.  He runs like his daddy-seriously!  If you could see him run across the yard and you had ever watched Kev play soccer you would probably stop and your jaw would drop at how similar they are.  Rusty seems to like a lot of foods that Kevin likes, and reacts to things in similar ways that I have seen my husband react.

I'm not saying this is a bad thing!  Kevin is amazing.  He is pretty laid back, and he can really go with the flow.  He is steadfast, he has a strong faith because he believes and doesn't let worry sway him.  He is a lover of sports and his friends and family.  He is committed.  If Rusty is all of those things, he will be a blessed guy.  Kevin is, however, determined.  And so is Rusty.

With this determined attitude comes some challenges for us.  Rusty was challenging as a sleeper, much like his dad.  We got all of the advice from all of the friends telling us what SHOULD work, and overall he was not horrible, but man, that kid could hold out.  He still can.  He doesn't sleep in cars.  He doesn't fall asleep on the little couch in the living room watching his favorite show.  You are not likely to find him crashed out on the floor because he was just too tired to stay awake.  Nope, the kid will simply stay awake.  Even during his recent illness when we knew he was exhausted beyond all exhaustion, he would sit there in the middle of the night watching that episode of Dora and stay awake.  I was falling asleep holding him in the chair but he was awake.  Only on the third night of throwing up and total lack of sleep for three days did he finally fall asleep in my arms due to pure exhaustion.  Wow...determined. 

He is showing his determination in other areas now as well.  Yes, the dreaded two year-old tantrums have begun.  I knew they were coming, friends had warned me.  Rusty is generally a pretty well behaved kid, and rolls with things quite well, but lately?  Well, it's not unusual for him to drop to the floor in a fit of tears because he is determined that he is going to get his way.  His favorite phrase during these fits is "I can't!"  I don't know where he learned it, but he will say, for instance, "I can't eat my pasta, Mommy, I CAN'T!"  I will reply with, "Yes, you can!  You CAN eat it!"  Oh man. 

Kevin is much better at dealing with these fits than I.  As he likes to say, "I am way more stubborn that Rusty.  I can outlast him."  Outlast indeed.  One day he sat for an hour and a half with Rusty at the kitchen table waiting for him to eat one bite of the oatmeal he had requested and then promptly decided he didn't want.  Wow.  I am thankful now for my husband's determinedness.  Is that a word?  When I am in the middle of dealing with a fit and want to give up, I ask myself, "What would Kevin do?"  I know that staying consistent is the best thing for Rusty.  I know that he will still love me.  I know that he is testing his boundaries.  I know all of these things...yet sometimes in the middle of it I find myself wanting to simply give in.  That's when the determinedness kicks in.  See, it turns out I have a bit of it myself!  Who knew?  No wonder Rusty has it in spades...we were doomed.  I'm willing to bet this second little one will have a healthy dose of it as well.

We'll get through it.  Rusty is not a mean-spirited child at heart...in fact he has quite the desire to please others-perhaps that came from his mother?  He has a sweet spirit and overflows with hugs and kisses for those he loves.  He is often saying to us, "Love you Mommy!" or "Love you Daddy!"  He has great manners and loves to say please and thank you.  He's a good kid.  I know it's the twos, and many, many parents have been through it.  We will get through it too, thanks to a healthy dose of family determinedness.