Rusty fell asleep snuggling in my arms tonight at bedtime. He was exhausted. Today was his first day back at daycare after being away sick for quite some time, and he didn't nap because of that. As I held him and sang to him as I usually do, he drifted off to sleep...and I was in heaven.
I just looked at him. I listened to the sweet whoosh, whoosh of his breath going in and out, smelled his sweet little Rusty scent, looked at every inch of his face, snuggled his body close to mine and just breathed it all in. He's so big these days...he is all little man, full of funny sayings and clever ways. He is a ball of energy and rarely stops moving. Even my snuggles at night aren't as long as they used to be, usually I am about halfway through the second song when he says, "I'm ready to go into my bed Mommy." Tonight I took that moment and I relished it.
I sat there holding him and thinking. I remembered.
I remembered being 40 weeks pregnant, wondering who the little one inside of me was, having no idea how very much that little one would rock my world and change our lives. I had no idea how much absolute love I would feel for this little guy.
I thought about this. Our first moments face to face. The immediate love that swept over me. Our first night-a long one!-in the hospital and our special moments with him. The crazy, over the top sense of protection we felt for him from that first moment was something that came across my mind. I can't believe it was so long ago!
I remembered his first smile and all of the wonderful moments from then to now.
This little man, this precious boy made me a mother. He filled up my life. He calls me mommy and runs into my arms every day when he gets home. He calls for me when he is sick. He tells me he loves me every day. He gives the best hugs and amazing little kisses. He challenges us, makes us laugh, and just fills us with joy. He's amazing.
Tonight, I took my moment, and I will hold it close. He's a miracle.
I'm practically bawling here!!
ReplyDeleteHe's a beautiful miracle!