A New Love

I am so thankful.  Today was a celebration service at church.  In these services there are usually baby dedications, membership celebrations and, my favorite, baptisms.  We aren't a church that baptizes babies...we have baptisms for people that are making the choice for themselves.  They are declaring to the seen and the unseen world that they want to live their lives completely and fully for the Lord.  The services are always incredibly moving and I cry, every single time.

Part of the service is a video testimonial from those being baptized.  They videotape it because they know that not everyone is a public speaker and people get nervous.  Allowing them to tape it gives them a chance to tell their story without feeling overwhelmed.  Those stories always tug at my heart strings, but today they struck me in another way.

There were three people...a 12-year old young girl, a middle aged man, and a mom that seemed to be about my age.  Their stories were so different.  The young girl had been raised in a home with parents and siblings that loved the Lord and modeled it to her.  She had made her own decision to follow God and wanted to say it to everyone and express that she hoped to follow Him all the days of her life.  The middle aged man had grown up with exposure to Jesus Christ, but had never fully made a decision.  Alcohol had taken over his life not just once, but multiple times.  He had entered into a program that our church helps to sponsor and was on his way of moving forward in life and toward Christ.  The last, the woman, was a woman that had known of God her entire life, but it wasn't until she had her own son that she really started to search for answers.  She wanted to know what she really believed so she could tell her son.  She came to know the Lord last year and now wanted to live a life fully committed to him.

These three people were all so different, but struck me anyway.  The young girl reminded me of myself.  I was raised in a home with not only parents that loved God, but aunts, uncles, grandparents and even friends.  I was surrounded!  For a long time my faith was sort of theirs, but I can remember a distinct moment in my teenage years when I committed myself to Him truly.  It was at summer camp, and the speaker totally challenged me and I decided I needed to love God and serve him because I wanted to, not because everyone around me did. 

The young mom related to me because I could see that same desire-the desire to pass a love for God on to your son-in myself.  She came to know God at an older age than myself, but had that same love for God that she wanted to model for her son that I have.  I desire the same thing...that my boys will see my love for God and my desire to serve him with my whole heart, and that it will make them question things and wonder and make a decision of their own.

The middle aged man struck me in a completely different way.  I have never had an alcohol or drug problem.  I have never really wandered far from the Lord at all since I came to know him so many years ago.  I have had moments where I don't feel as close to him certainly, but I have always known that he is there.  That is where this man's story struck me.  It reminded me of how truly blessed I am to have lived basically my entire life with God walking side by side with me.  I am so thankful.  The woman talked about how once she knew God, she had more peace than she had ever known in her life.  It made me start crying.  I cried because I realized how incredibly blessed I am to have known that peace for most of my life. 

This doesn't mean that I never question things, or have hardships, or have moments where I wonder what is going on.  It doesn't mean that I don't experience pain and heartache.  It doesn't mean that I always know exactly what is going on...but that peace that she talked about?  I knew what she was expressing because I have felt that peace.  I have felt it for my entire life.

I was in tears yet again at the end of the service, and sat in the pew for moments after everyone else left reflecting on all that had been said.  I just had to sit there for a moment and say, "Thank you Father.  I love you." 

This is an area God has been working on in me lately...that love for him.  I always hear people say that they just love the Lord so much.  I have to admit, I haven't always had this crazy love for God.  Rather, even with my PEACE I have always had somewhat of a fear of him.  I know that fearing the Lord is good and healthy, but I greatly desired to have that crazy love for God.  That love that I felt for him alone.  That love that consumed me.  So...I asked for it.  I asked him to create that in me.  I really feel like he has been working to answer that prayer.  I am continually being confronted with the idea that it really is NOT all about me and life-MY life-truly is all about him.  I have fears, I have worries, but I also am finding that I have LOVE.  Today in church was one of those moments where I felt that LOVE.  I was suddenly just overwhelmed with love for my Lord and for his Grace and for WHO he is. 

It is so amazing to see God at work in my life.  I LOVE you Lord!