A Birth Story: Ruby

I am thrilled to be finally sitting down to write the story of our long awaited daughter, Ruby.  Of course Ruby isn't her actual name, and I so wish I could share her actual name on here because it has such meaning, but I never feel comfortable posting my kids' real names on the blog.  Most of you know us in person and do know her name...if you don't know the meaning, ask me!  It's important.

As usual, here I am already off on a tangent...I will try to stay on track and tell you the story of the birth of our precious daughter, Ruby.  She arrived at 11:32 p.m. on October 1st.  She weighed in at 7 pounds 4 ounces and was 19 inches long.  Allow me to introduce you!

Ruby's labour and delivery was...amazing!  It was by far my easiest, and perhaps my craziest.  The boys were both rather long and drawn out, but both completely worth it.  You can read Rusty's story here and Rocky's story here.  This? This is Ruby's story.

Ruby is our long-awaited daughter.  She is a miracle just as her brothers before her were.  If you have been following our blog for long, you know that there is a history of loss.  We lost two babies before Rusty was born, one in between Rusty and Rocky, and two in between Rocky and Ruby.  One loss was quick in December.  We didn't even really know we were pregnant, barely anyway.  There was a faint test and then a loss.  The other loss was in August of 2013.  After that one we weren't sure what to do...should we keep trying or should we look at it as God telling us to be done with two?  We prayed about it a lot and both felt peace and confirmation in deciding to try just one more time.  If we were able to become pregnant again and it lasted, we would be so thankful for a third child.  If we became pregnant again and lost it, we would be thankful for the two God had already given us and feel peace with deciding to be done.

In January of 2014 we were shocked to discover we were pregnant.  I had been sick all month, and was sick yet again.  I visited my doctor and she wanted to do some x-rays to check for pneumonia.  When she asked me if I could be pregnant before sending me for the tests I practically scoffed.  It seemed nearly impossible.  I replied that I would be shocked but I guessed it could be possible.  Maybe.  Probably not.  She is a stickler for being safe and for being thorough, so off she sent me for blood tests to see.  It was too early even for the pee on a stick test to be truly accurate.  I will never forget how anxiously I awaited those blood test results and I will never forget my complete shock when they came and I saw the results.  I actually was pregnant!

Fast forward to 20 weeks and we were at the hospital nervously awaiting our ultrasound.  We were meeting with a specialist because of the history of ABO with Rocky.  He would be going through every detail with us in a specialized ultrasound at the hospital.  One thing we were anxious to find out was the gender.  We didn't truly care what baby was.  We knew we were awesome parents of boys and absolutely adored our boys.  We are so thankful for them.  I always saw myself as a mom of boys and a mom of boys I was!  I went in feeling about 98% sure that we would be finding out we were having another boy.  Kevin was hoping for a little girl.  Even before he was married he dreamed of having a little girl, and that was the reason we would be finding out the gender.  He wanted to know to be prepared...he wanted the actual delivery to just be a time of joy and excitement and not nervousness or wondering about what baby was.  Everyone has different opinions on finding out ahead of time, but for us, that was what we wanted.  When our doctor said, "It looks like it's a pink one!" I will never, ever forget the look on Kevin's face.  Tears came to his eyes and he just sat there in awe.  He was going to be a father to a daughter and to two wonderful sons!  His heart was full to overflowing and mine was as well, because I was so excited for Kev to see that dream realized.  It was a beautiful moment, but it wouldn't even compare to what was to come 20 weeks later!

We had finally arrived at the day...October 1st.  It was our due date, and we were on our way to the hospital for induction.  I had prayed against being induced.  I had hoped and hoped that perhaps she would come early, but it wasn't to be.  I had to be induced because Ruby had shown on ultrasound that she was showing signs of having the same blood issue that our Rocky had and they wanted to get her out so that they could start treatment if needed.  I knew that this needed to happen and as we drove to the hospital I finally had peace.  I was simply excited...today I could possibly be meeting my baby girl!

I had never been induced before.  The boys were both late...with Rusty's birth we did end up having his labour stall out after more than a day of hard labour.  This resulted in them augmenting the birth with the use of pitocin, which I did not like.  I was really hoping to avoid that this go around.  I had no idea what was really going to happen!  Pitocin would NOT be needed!

Being induced is really interesting.  You know it is coming.  You wake up, you shower, you even have time to do your hair-thus the nice pictures coming later.  Everyone said it looked like I had a stylist there...well, I just had time before we went to the hospital and actually did my hair for once!  I had my house clean and in order.  We dropped Rocky off at daycare and Papa took Rusty out to his school.  The boys' clothes and such for sleepover were all at Nana and Papa's house.  We were ready...now, the wait.

Saying goodbye to my boys as they head off to school on the morning of the 1st!

We arrived at the hospital around 9 a.m.  We checked into the observation room and I was hooked up to a monitor.  They did non-stress tests on the baby for about 30 minutes before the OBGYN came in.  He chatted with us about what would happen and what the day would look like.  Then he checked me out, found I was not really dilated or anything, and then inserted prostaglandin gel.  The gel works to ripen the cervix and get things going.  We didn't expect the first round of gel to do anything really, but the OB did say because it was my third baby he expected that I would be in labour by that night and "not waking up in my own bed the next morning."  After the gel was given, we had to wait an hour to see what happened.  Kev and I chatted, surfed our phones, and hung out as we heard the woman in the next curtained off area begin to get contractions.  I have to admit, I was a little jealous!  After an hour nothing was happening so they sent us home with instructions to return five hours later, at 3:30 p.m.

We made our way home, deciding to stop and get a movie and some lunch.  As we were in Subway I got the strangest sensation in the backs of my thighs.  They were the worst charlie horse type cramps. I did not at the time attribute it to the gel or to anything happening, but it was so strange.  I pretty much couldn't stand up or walk!  As long as I was sitting it was okay, but as soon as I tried to stand up it amped up again.  We made our way home and popped in the DVD and ate our Subway sandwiches, all with these strange cramps in my legs still happening.  I laid down for a bit because they were bothering me and the only thing that felt good was lying down in my bed.  I kept thinking I should get up and walk the stairs or something to be able to get labour going, but opted to rest instead.

Around three it felt like nothing was really happening and we headed back into the hospital.  By the time they got me hooked up to a machine for the stress tests I was having true contractions!  Because I was flat on my back, they felt pretty strong, and I was encouraged.  Maybe things were really going!  They came in to check and I was so disappointed to find I was only one centimetre.  They said they felt I needed another dose of the gel-even though I was having fairly strong contractions of at least a minute about 2-3 minutes apart.  So, another dose it was and another hour wait.  By the time we left I was having fairly strong contractions coming less than two minutes apart, but they had no delivery rooms available and I thought I would be more comfortable at home, so home we went again!

By this time I was a bit tired of the waiting but it still felt like nothing compared to the boys.  I was more just worried and discouraged that the gel didn't seem to be progressing things much and I feared I was going to go back at 9:30 and be hooked up to pitocin.  I was willing to do whatever it took to meet our little girl and have her arrive safe and sound, but I was still hoping for it to happen more on its own.  By the time we left the hospital things had amped up, but as we arrived home the contractions seemed to settle just a bit.  After eating a light snack I decided to try to sleep a bit.

It wasn't really sleep, because the contractions were enough that I couldn't really fall asleep, but lying in my bed felt nice and the rest was good.  By 8 p.m. the contractions were enough that I needed to do something, and I got into the shower and rode out the contractions with hot water until the hot water ran out!  By that time it was time to head to the hospital for another check.  We checked in with our birth photographer and our doula and told them we would let them know what they told us as we headed back to the hospital for the third time.

As we arrived at the hospital, my contractions were becoming quite intense.  I experienced back labour with both of the boys, however, and that seemed much harder than this was going.  It was true that it was hard to speak through them and I had to remind myself to breathe, but I still felt they were quite manageable.  They hooked me up and the nurse and resident doctor both mentioned how intense the contractions were and how closely they were coming.  There was no need for gel or pitocin!  They wanted to check me though.  As they did my heart felt so defeated as they told us that I was still simply one centimetre!  They suggested yet again that I go home, as they still didn't have any delivery rooms available.  Apparently late September and early October are busy months...they call it the Christmas break baby boom.  The nurses were joking about it with us.  Since they had nowhere for us, and I knew we had access to the doula we did decide to head home.  As we packed up yet again and headed out of the labour ward, my contractions were amping up a lot.

As we walked down the hall I had to stop for each contraction and as I waited in the lobby of the hospital while Kevin went to get the car I felt so incredibly defeated.  It was hard to even talk or text because I was in such pain, but I was able to shoot off a few quick messages to a few friends saying how defeated I felt.  I was in such pain, but being sent home and wondering how I was going to make it through the night.  Just one centimetre!  With my history getting from 1-10 took a long, long time.  A LONG time.  I sat in the lobby just crying.  As we got into the car, my contractions went to a ten quickly.  We were still in the ER parking lot and I wondered if we should be going home.  I could only loudly say, "OW!  OW OW OW!" with each contraction and Kev was looking at me like I was crazy!  I was crying, but I said, "Just go home!"  I didn't know what else to do.

As we drove I got a message from my friend Laura saying that she and her husband Steve were praying for things to increase.  As I felt the crazy pain I clearly remember thinking "I don't think I can handle it amping up any more but I guess it has to to get me from 1-10.  This is going to be such a long, hard night!"  I was now at the point where I couldn't say ANYTHING with the contractions and I was writhing in the seat.  I told Kev that he needed to call our doula and get her to our house as quickly as possible because I wasn't sure how to do this for the night on our own.  It felt so intense and I couldn't imagine it being that intense for an entire night to get me to 10 centimetres!

By the time we got home, I was actually screaming from the pain.  I had no idea what was going on and how it could be that intense at that early of a stage!  Then, as we pulled into our driveway my water broke!  Thankfully I had a towel down on my seat just in case that very thing happened.  The instant it broke I went from what I thought was as hard as it could be to 100 times worse!  Kev was ready to throw the van into reverse and speed back to the hospital but I irrationally wanted to go inside and change my pants.  Crazy pregnant lady!  Somehow I managed.  Kev later checked the alarm log.  We unarmed our house at 10:54 p.m.  We had left the hospital at 10:30.  We had been checked and told I was one centimetre around 9:30 p.m.  We got me back into the car-I didn't think I could actually climb in the contractions were so strong and so constant!

As we drove I was screaming from the pain.  Kev called the hospital and the same nurse that had checked me and said I was one centimetre answered.  She could hear me screaming-we have speakerphone in the van-and she cheerfully told us to "Come right in!"  She was the head nurse and ended up helping us to deliver.  After the delivery she told us that when she answered the phone she couldn't believe what she was hearing and knew that if I made it there I would be delivering a baby right away!  She was in shock because she had sent us home just an hour before at one.  We then called our birth photographer whom Kev quickly told we were on the way to the hospital and then he dialed our doula.  I credit Laura, our birth doula, for getting me to the hospital without delivering Ruby in the car.  I was SCREAMING and felt like the baby was going to come any minute.  I just knew we were going to be one of those stories...those people that have the baby on the side of the road.  Poor Kev was driving like a madman.  Laura was also on her way to the hospital and was on bluetooth with us.  She talked to me the entire way, telling to to look at the ceiling and pant .  I think that kept me from delivering...that very thing.

We whipped into the ER parking lot.  I have no idea how I made it inside.

First, I tried to get through the doors.  They were locked!  At 9 p.m. they lock them up for security reasons.  I remember staring at them and yelling "These doors need to open NOW!" (During our five days in the hospital at one point I took a walk for some fresh air...I made my way back along the crazy route of that night and had to take pics, I was NOT taking pictures in the moment, ha!)

Get these doors open NOW!

The ER receptionist came running over and opened them up.  I walked a few steps and then had to drop the floor of the lobby because the pain was so intense.  I was on my hands and knees in the lobby of the hospital thinking I would not be able to get up and that I was going to deliver that baby right there right then!

Right after those people is where I fell to my hands and knees on the floor!

Somehow I managed to get up!  I made it to the elevators and we made it to the labour floor.  I had to stop yet again in the hallway and I was again screaming.

The LOONNNGGG Hallway to Labour and Delivery

Poor Kev, he was trying to help me and had remembered our doula saying to make low noises.  He said, "Shhh honey!" meaning that I should make low noises.  I remember turning to him and screaming "Don't tell me to SHHHHH!"  I have never yelled at him in labour but I thought that baby was coming THEN!  I remember seeing people from the waiting room peeking their heads around the corner.  We hobbled our way through them and into the labour ward.  The head nurse was there and rushed us into...a storage room.

It was the same room we had been in for the assessment.  They were so full that they had an extra bed set up in this room.  It had no windows and was full of extra machines and such.  It was truly a storage room. It didn't have what was needed for delivery and although I was out of it with the pain I remember them all rushing around trying to gather what they would need for a delivery.  Somehow they got me onto the bed and ready to go.  They checked and her head was there!  They told me she was coming and now!

I remember not believing them.  I remember saying "She is NOT coming!"  In my head I was still one centimetre.  I don't deliver fast.  I'm not one of those women.  My babies take a long time to come!  They said she was coming but I didn't believe it even though the pain said otherwise.  They were telling me to push and to do this.  My doctor said that there was a slight lip of the cervix that she needed to push back, I am now convinced that this little lip was the thing that kept our Ruby from being born in the car, on the side of the road, or on the floor of the hospital lobby.  They told me to push and then, just six minutes after we arrived on the labour floor she was born!  Our precious Ruby had arrived and was with us, on my chest.

When she came, our girl came fast.  I couldn't believe it.  I was in shock and I remember thinking that our doula wasn't there, our photographer wasn't there.  They were going to cut the cord and I told Kev to give me my phone so I could get a picture of him doing that.  I wanted those moments!  Our doula arrived then and grabbed our camera and started snapping photos.  A few minutes later my friend Emily, our photographer walked in.  She was soon enough to capture big moments, as well as our shock and awe! (Following photos credited to Flourish Photography by Emily)

This is not posed...he was in shock and awe at how quickly it all went!

After it was all over, we were still reeling from how quickly everything had happened.  Ruby did end up having ABO Incompatibility, just as Rocky did.  We knew though, and were able to treat it with light therapy and no time in the NICU.  Thankfully our sweet boys had a chance to come in and meet their sister before her treatment began.  What a precious gift it is to see siblings meet for the first time.  They were such proud brothers!

After a four night stay in the hospital we were able to bring her home with us.

Something that I have to talk about, because I wouldn't be me if I didn't, is how very present God was in and through all of this.  Not just Ruby's delivery, but her entire pregnancy.  At 18 weeks we had a scare where after 10 minutes of trying the doctor could not find her heartbeat.  I was sent for an emergency ultrasound and both Kev and I were so scared...I remember praying before we went in for that scan.  Although I was scared, I felt a peace, and I was so thankful when the tech was immediately able to show us our thriving baby girl.  Throughout the day of the induction, I kept having one verse that went through my mind.  In my Bible Study Fellowship class we are studying the life of Moses and that week's lesson had been when God meets Moses through the burning bush.  Moses doubts that he can do what God asks of him, but God reminds him that he will be with him and he says, "I AM who I AM."  That kept running through my mind over and over...when I was tired, when I was discouraged, when I was pushing and it was crazy..."I AM who I AM."  The other moment that really stands out was that 9:30 p.m. checkup.  After that I was so incredibly discouraged.  I felt like I couldn't continue and I was so downtrodden.  I later learned that in that space from about 9:30  to 11:30 several different people felt prompted to pray for me and for the delivery...some were even woken up from sleep to do so!  God is such a good God and I am convinced that He woke those people and they obeyed and prayed and God answered them by making me go from 1 centimetre to 10 at mach speed!!!  I am so thankful that God was with us throughout it all.

I also have to say what an amazing man my husband is.  Throughout the entire day he was always there.  He encouraged me, he prayed with me, he kept me calm...he probably felt like he had a broken hand with how hard I was squeezing his during pushing!  I clearly remember him right there beside me saying how amazing I was, what a wonderful job I was doing, and how much he loved me.  This man is not one that cries often, but he has cried at the births of all three of our children.  He loves them so much, and is such an incredible father.  I'm so thankful for him, and that I get to be on this journey with him.  I love him so very much.

I am so thankful for my three precious children.  Although the journey to having them has not always been an easy one, I would go down the road again a thousand times.  They are miracles, and I never, ever take them for granted.  I know that they are a gift on loan to us from God, and Kev and I constantly pray that God will give us the wisdom to raise them as He would see fit.

Photo Credit: Flourish Photography by Emily

I am so thankful to have Ruby added to our family.  We are in love with her, and we can't wait to see what the future holds for her.  We thank God every day for his gifts of our three sweet children.  Even when the days are crazy and seem hard, they are so very worth it.  Ruby is here, at last!  Meet our little miracle...our daughter.

Photo Credit:  Flourish Photography by Emily

"For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of Him."
I Samuel 1: 27