I'm here to tell you that I don't believe there is a perfect! Perfect can be so different to so many people. My idea of what is good and wonderful could be your nightmare, and vice versa. Maybe you think that a day spent at home not doing much at all sounds totally boring and awful. To me it sounds wonderful. Perhaps you love filling your life and those of your kids with tons of activities...making lists to complete and so forth. I have tried that...it doesn't really work for me. It just makes me stressed out.
My life is not perfect...but it IS perfect for me. I am thankful...oh so very thankful. My children have not come easily to me. I have had multiple miscarriages, some scares in my pregnancies, and just have waited in general. I do, however, have three wonderful children and I never, ever take them for granted. Do they fight? Yes indeed. Do they cause me to become exasperated at times. You'd better believe it. I'm sure I exasperate them as well. Do they make messes? Oh yeah, they are definitely good at making messes...even the little Miss. She decided to have an explosive poo today just as I took her diaper off. Fun, fun times. They throw tantrums, they whine, they don't always do what we ask. They do all of these things. I just don't post those moments. I think because they often pass so quickly, and they aren't something that is memorable to me, I choose to ignore them. However, for the sake of being real and bonding with my faraway friends let me be real. Here it is...moments that don't get posted on a regular basis!
- Our Rocky is a very determined young lad. At the moment, he likes to protest...everything. "Rocky! It's time to wash up for dinner!" His response: I don't want to wash up for dinner! I want to keep playing! "Rocky, we need to leave to get Rusty to school. Can you go and put your shoes on please?" His response: I don't want to wear shoes. I don't want to wear ANYTHING. These are just a few examples. These responses usually lead to us putting him in a time out at the end of the hallway, which can lead to him screaming...really loud. This often leads to us ignoring that screaming until it stops, at which point we go and have a discussion about what went wrong followed by how he can change it for next time and setting the timer for his time...this starts once he is calm. This often can take awhile...sometimes even up to half an hour or more. We have been late for things...late for Bible study, late for school, late for whatever. We know that we've got to stick with it though...we will be glad we did in the long run, right??
- Rusty loves technology, a lot. He LOVES his tablet-not really his tablet but a Samsung Galaxy that we keep on hand but which he calls HIS tablet. We are ridiculous...we do have several tablets. I have one for work, which the boys NEVER are allowed to use. Kev got one for free when we signed up for a three year term with Telus. We already had the Samsung Galaxy. It seems so ridiculous to us...but it's just the way things worked out. The Samsung is the one that Rusty gets to use sometimes, but he would use it all the time if he could. We have had to set limits on it. He doesn't love those limits. He can get whiny about it. Lately he has been a lot better and a lot more agreeable and follows the rules better without whining but in the past there have been full on tears due to us simply following the guidelines we laid down regarding the tablet and the use of it!
- The Friday that I spoke so lovingly about in my previous post started out with Rocky having a full on tantrum, pushing his body along the floor about some inconsequential thing. As Kev kissed me-totally unshowered, tired, in need of coffee-on the way out the door he said, "Good luck!" I wasn't sure how the day would go down. I prayed for patience and an ability to approach my kids with love.
- Rocky doesn't love a lot of food right now. He often tells me that he doesn't like whatever I have made for dinner and will say he will eat nothing rather than what I've made. Yep...yet again, I just have to stick with things! The other day he ate broccoli at his Auntie and Uncle's house! And two days ago he ate cucumbers with peels! The thing is, even he recognizes these milestones. He looked at me and proudly declared, "Mommy! I ate the peels and I LIKED them!" The next day, however, it was back to "Peels are yucky!"
- Rusty has to be reminded about 20 times a day to be less physical with his little brother. He is bigger and stronger...they like to wrestle. This usually ends up with Rocky getting annihilated by his big brother as big brother enjoys being tough. He will hug Rocky and it will turn into Rocky yelling "TOO TIGHT!" He will push Rocky. He will take Rocky and pull him down to the ground. I know, it's all part of being siblings, but sometimes I tire of saying "Rusty! Less physical!"
- Our house often looks like a bomb went off in it! The sink in our bathroom constantly has a crust of toothpaste on it. The floors have crumbs and dirt and dog slobber and sticky tape. The dishes are often piled up in the sink. We have fruit flies. LIKE A LOT OF FRUIT FLIES THAT OH MY WORD I CANNOT GET RID OF NO MATTER HOW MANY DISHES OF APPLE CIDER VINEGAR I PUT OUT AND NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I WIPE DOWN THE COUNTERS AND KEEP THE GARBAGE CLEANED OUT AND HOW DO YOU GET RID OF THESE THINGS!!!?????
Just a few things...a few not so perfect things. These things, however, don't really matter in the long run. Like I said, I love the moments that shine in my mind and day. I love the hugs, the I love yous, the giggles, the conversations at dinner, the prayers at bed time, the kisses, the raspberries, the snuggle time, the walks in the park, the silly made up songs, the jokes, the drives to school...there is so much beauty, so many joyful things to focus on in the day. I can't focus on the bad, the difficult, the mundane, or even the downright it seems like this phase is never going to end. Why? Because I feel like I have to enjoy my little miracles as much as I can. I will never forget longing to be pregnant and have a baby, and how I said I would always take the tough times, if I could just snuggle a sweet baby. I remember how I prayed for the Lord to give us those messy counters, tantrums, and lost nights of sleep. I simply can't take them for granted. Do I still commiserate with fellow moms? Most definitely. Do Kev and I still pray about situations that have been hard for us to deal with? Absolutely. Did I still have a moment in the hospital after two nights of lost sleep and a baby that was under lights and couldn't be comforted where I told the nurses that NO, I was NOT okay and I couldn't keep doing it? Yes, yes I did. I just choose to post my joyful moments. Maybe in the future, however, I'll try to share a few real and not perceived as perfect moments. Just for a little fun!
Some of My Reasons to Smile and Be Thankful
God bless you! I have twin nieces who were (one...Faith, has delivered a little girl) expecting along with you! I suppose before long Hope will have her little boy. Fruit for the Lord...Amen!
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